Hollowing Out Miss Holloway

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Christina Hendricks was not a fan of her Mad Men character at first, but like her bodacious ta-tas, it started to grow on her.

The 38-year-old actress, who has insisted she is nothing like Joan in real life, told Lucky Magazine that she began to understand the often harsh character only after Mad Men producer Matthew Wiener explained that she just wants to be helpful.

“Joan used to be Peggy,” she said. “She just wants the next girl to not get trampled on like she did.”

For the record, I would never let her get trampled on. Everyone needs to form an orderly line behind me.

KFC: It’s Finger Choppin’ Good

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Forget armaments and medical supplies. Kentucky Fried Chicken is making many Gazans yell, “Allahu Snack Box!”

A courier business based in Gaza is apparently offering an ambitious service to deliver smuggled orders of Kentucky Friend Chicken from Egypt via underground tunnels. According to the company’s ads on Facebook, Gazans can get a taste of the “finger-lickin good” stuff for 100 shekels ($30 USD, triple the usual price) within 3 hours of placing the order. Fried chicken is only the latest addition to a long list of supplies and products that are being transported through the network of tunnels, which serves as a vital lifeline between Egypt and the Hamas-controlled region that is currently under an Israeli blockade.

If the Mossad is as good as I think it is, their agents would infiltrate the Egyptian KFC and sneak a few of these into the terrorists’ orders.

Researchers Prove What We Already Knew

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Namely, the average conservative is a rugged manly-man, while the average liberal is a mealy-mouthed pantywaist.

I can’t speak for all manly conservative men, but my back hair has back hair!

Men who are physically strong are more likely to take a right wing political stance, while weaker men are inclined to support the welfare state, according to a new study. Researchers discovered political motivations may have evolutionary links to physical strength.

Men’s upper-body strength predicts their political opinions on economic redistribution.

The researchers collected data on bicep size, socioeconomic status, and support for economic redistribution from hundreds of people in the United States, Argentina and Denmark.

You know what “bicep size” is code for, right? That’s right, the Johnson.

Of course, the study is not true for every conservative, nor is it true for every liberal. For some liberals, however, the study is spot on.

Take A Walk On The Wild Side

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A man trying to dribble a soccer ball from Seattle to Brazil died this week after being struck by a car. Gooooooooool!

A man less than two weeks into a planned journey to dribble a soccer ball from his home city of Seattle to Brazil, the host nation for the 2014 World Cup, died on Tuesday after being struck by a car in Oregon, police and the man’s supporters said.

Richard Swanson, 42, was struck as he walked on the shoulder of a road on the outskirts of Lincoln City just east of the Oregon coast, said Lincoln City Police Sergeant Randy Weaver. Swanson’s soccer ball was found nearby, Weaver said.

The car was given a red card and suspended from the next two vehicular homicides.

Obama To America: “F**k You”

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Reports claim Susan Rice, the woman who appeared on national television five times and lied to the American people about a YouTube video, will be appointed National Security Advisor.

Ha, that’s good one! This is simply a sick, twisted remake of Candid Camera, right?

Insiders with ties to the Obama administration tell The Cable that U.S. ambassador to the United Nations Susan Rice has become the heir apparent to National Security Advisor Tom Donilon — a post at the epicenter of foreign-policy decision making and arguably more influential than secretary of state, a job for which she withdrew her candidacy last fall amid severe political pressure.

“It’s definitely happening,” a source who recently spoke with Rice told The Cable. “She is sure she is coming and so too her husband and closest friends.”

The president himself has gone out of his way to wink at an expanded role for Rice within his administration. “I have every confidence that Susan has limitless capability to serve our country now and in the years to come, and know that I will continue to rely on her as an advisor and friend,” Obama said in a December statement.

Make no mistake: this is Obama’s big middle finger to his critics, and to the American people. Rice lied, Obama knows she lied, and he is still going to appoint her, just for spite.

Rice lied on national television five times about the motivation surrounding the Benghazi attacks. FIVE. TIMES. I guess when you surround yourself with domestic terrorists and racist preachers, a compulsive liar doesn’t seem so bad.

Humpday History Highlight

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Meet the USS Williamsburg; once the president’s official yacht.

When the USS Williamsburg was commandeered by Harry Truman to be the President’s personal yacht, she became one of the world’s most famous ships. Dignitaries such as Winston Churchill were invited to conferences on board, while the vessel sailed around the world taking Truman on a series of exotic vacations.

But now the celebrated boat is rusting away in an Italian shipyard – and could be scrapped within a few years if a last-minute attempt to save her fails.

Williamsburg spent much of the war in Iceland, helping safeguard the delivery of supplies from the U.S. to Europe, and also underwent patrols of the North American coast. Soon after the war, she took over from Potomac as the President’s official yacht – much to the delight of Harry Truman, who became President following the death of Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1945.

The ship quickly gained a reputation as the ‘seagoing White House’, an iconic symbol of American strength and optimism as the U.S. took the lead in rebuilding the shattered West.

Now this piece is history is rotting in an Italian shipyard. Inexcusable.

Another Day…

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Another Obama administration scandal. This time, IRS agents accessed 60 million personal medical records, without probable cause, and without a warrant.

If I did this, I would be fired and/or arrested.

In a story by Erin McCann of Healthcare IT News the IRS is alleged to have improperly accessed some 60 million medical records from 10 million Americans, including medical records of all California state judges.

According to a story by Courthousenews.com an unnamed healthcare provider in California is bringing the lawsuit against the IRS and 15 of its agents. The personal health information was allegedly seized by the IRS on March 11, 2011. The medical records included information on psychological counseling, gynecological counseling, sexual and drug treatment, and other sensitive medical treatment data.

“This is an action involving the corruption and abuse of power by several Internal Revenue Service agents,” the complaint reads.

“No search warrant authorized the seizure of these records; no subpoena authorized the seizure of these records; none of the 10,000,000 Americans were under any kind of known criminal or civil investigation and their medical records had no relevance whatsoever to the IRS search. IT personnel at the scene, a HIPPA facility warning on the building and the IT portion of the searched premises, and the company executives each warned the IRS agents of these privileged records,” it continued. (H/T – Realwest)

In fairness, this “president” has shown contempt for both the First and Second Amendments. Why not burn the Fourth, as well?

UPDATE: I mentioned this in the comments, but it bears repeating here. Today, Obama claimed he asked for the resignation of IRS Chief Steven Miller, and received it. According to the UK Daily Mail, Miller was already set to leave in June. Wow. Just wow.

Drink Yourself Thin!

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Meet Christine Quinn. Like every NYC mayoral hopeful, she’s a hot mess.

New York City politician Christine Quinn is known for her tough-talking ways and brash attitude that have helped her work her way up to become the first lesbian City Council speaker.

Now she has opened up for the first time in her public life to tell that she suffered from bulimia and stopped drinking three years ago because she is an alcoholic.

So she’s a bulimic alcoholic. Pfft, doesn’t every person who drinks too much end up Ralphing their lunch?

If you ask me, this chick needs to take a drink and relax.

Love Roller Coaster

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The city of Seaside Heights, NJ is set to tear down the roller coaster that slipped into the surf during Sandy.

You know, if the city of “Jersey Shore” was so damned tough, they’d leave it up and have the Guidos ride it anyway. Pussies.

Workers are set to begin demolishing perhaps the most famous symbol of Superstorm Sandy’s devastation along New Jersey’s shoreline. They’ll be taking apart the remnants of a roller coaster that plunged off an amusement pier into the ocean.

The work will begin Tuesday afternoon in the summer tourist destination of Seaside Heights after Britain’s Prince Harry finishes a visit.

What the frak? Why the hell would they leave it up for Prince Harry? Is he going to inspect it… or is he planning to bed some lovely goombah ladies atop the tracks?

Scandal Ballet

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It’s my day off and I’m exhausted, so I figured I would throw this in – courtesy of Drew M. at Ace of Spades – because Drew highlights the scandals better than anyone. An excerpt:

1) Obama Sics IRS On Conservatives and Jews. This is the most serious of scandals because it’s an abuse of power that clearly crossing any concept of decency and legality. The idea of using one of the most powerful domestic agencies to deter political activities is such a clear abuse of power, it was once included in an Article of Impeachment.

The Jewish angle has not been publicized as much, but still damning. There’s more below.

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