Weekend Caption Contest

Cryophil Winter Swimmers

The Cold Man And The Sea Caption Contest
(Source: Reuters)

Caption this photo in the comments section or e-mail me your photoshop entries. The winners will be posted on Monday, April 14th. Good luck!

Original Caption: Members of the Cryophil winter swimmers club sunbathes as they sit on an ice floe on the Yenisei River in Krasnoyarsk, Russia, April 9, 2014. REUTERS/Ilya Naymushin

Other Current Contests:
Right Pundits
Rodney Dill
Wizbang

All Dressed Up And Everything To Show

Intimacy 2.0 DressSay what you want about the Dutch… or people from Holland… or the Netherlands; they know how to make guys happy. If it’s not the high-class, low-cost prostitutes, or trendy hash bars, it’s the dress which becomes invisible when a woman is turned on. Yeah.

If you blush easily, then wearing this dress may make you reveal far more than a red face. The Intimacy 2.0 dress, created by Netherlands-based Studio Roosegarde, turns transparent when the wearer is aroused.

Within the dress, tiny invisible sensors are able to detect changes in the wearer’s body temperature and heart rate. As the wearer’s heart rate and temperature goes up, the e-foils change color and transform into clear plastic.

Here’s the problem with this concept: it can never be worn around someone who is both dead sexy and an expert in the art of flirting. In other words, me. So come on, ladies; let me see if you’re beautiful… on the inside.

Okay, Can We Talk About It Now?

Givens_and_Grimes_Zombie_Saloon_Andy_Hunter1
(Photo H/T – Andy Hunter)

The Season 4 finale of The Walking Dead and the Season 5 finale of Justified have come and gone. I’m not sure how many of you still watch – or ever watched – either series, but I figured I’d vent a bit for those who do. There are spoilers below the fold, so if you don’t want to know, stop reading here…

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Wanky Doodle Dandy

David James Corpus ChristiMeet David James of Corpus Christi, Texas. David likes cops; so much so, he spent most of his life being arrested by them.

As a token of his appreciation, David decided to personally thank a female officer this week.

A 29-year-old man is jailed on charges he exposed himself to a female Corpus Christi police officer Tuesday afternoon. The officer was loading up her cruiser at the main police department building in downtown when a man came up to her.

She noticed the man had his pants open and he was fondling himself. The officer called for assistance from coworkers to get the man in custody. David James was arrested [and] charged with indecent exposure. (H/T – 911)

In fairness, I’d have to see a picture of the officer before I determined this man’s fate. I mean, if she’s really hot, this might be a case of justifiable diddling.

Oh, by the way; nice Hitler mustache, Dave. I’ll bet it drives the women wild.

Lamey’s Got A Gun

Rumer Willis With A Revolver

I have no idea why Rumer Willis is famous, other than the fact her parents are Bruce Willis and Demi Moore. The woman is too skinny, had bad tattoos, and has a face that screams for a feedbag full of oats; but that’s not why I’m posting about her. I’m posting about her because the UK Daily Mail made a huge mistake in this story, and repeated it again and again. Take a read.

She stole the show on Friday night in her racy top and mini skirt at the launch of little sister Talullah’s fashion blog. And it seems Rumer Willis likes the semi-sheer leotard so much she also wore it during a recent photo shoot with Tyler Shields.

The actress posted a black and white photograph of herself brandishing a revolver for the celebrity snapper on her Instagram on Tuesday.

Hmm, she must have one of those rare semi-automatic revolvers. Prats.

Humpday History Highlight

Germany Invades NorwayApril 9th, 1940 – Germany Invades Norway

During World War II, Nazi Germany invades neutral Norway, surprising the Norwegian and British defenders of the country and capturing several strategic points along the Norwegian coast. During the invasion’s preliminary phase, Norwegian Fascists under Vidkun Quisling acted as a so-called fifth column for the German invaders, seizing Norway’s nerve centers, spreading false rumors, and occupying military bases and other locations. In June, Norway fell to the Nazis.

Quisling was made head of a puppet government but was vigorously opposed by the Norwegian resistance, the most effective resistance movement in all of Nazi-occupied Europe. After the German surrender in May 1945, he was arrested, convicted of high treason, and shot. From his name comes the word quisling, meaning “traitor” in several languages.

Before the invasion, Hitler quipped, “We zip in, we pick ‘em up, we zip right out again. We’re not going to Moscow. It’s Norway. It’s like going into Wisconsin.”

Eric The Dread

Eric Holder You Don't Want To Go There Buddy

There are few people I despise more than Attorney General Eric Holder. The man is an incompetent, racist, arrogant a-hole; and those are his good qualities. Holder once again showed his true colors during a House hearing yesterday.

Attorney General Eric Holder exploded at Texas Republican Rep. Louie Gohmert during a House hearing Tuesday. In the midst of questions about the Justice Department’s failure to divulge documents about the Holy Land Foundation terror funding trial, Gohmert made a side comment about how the House of Representatives found Holder in contempt in 2012 for refusing to turn over documents related to the Fast and Furious gun-running scandal.

“I realize that contempt is not a big deal to our attorney general, but it is important that we have proper oversight,” Gohmert said.

“You don’t want to go there, buddy! You don’t want to go there, okay,” Holder shot back.

So what’s Holder going to do; jump up and punch the congressman? Stop pretending you’re a tough guy, buddy. You can’t pull it off.

Joan Of Lark

Christina Hendricks And Jon HammJoan Harris, Christina Hendricks’ character on Mad Men, will begin her final season Sunday. Well, final two seasons. Or something.

Fans of retro show Mad Men have been waiting for the final season with bated-breath but the wait is almost over as AMC’s acclaimed show returns for the seventh time this Sunday.

The series begins with an episode called ‘The Beginning’ and the final 14 episodes will stretch over two years, broken into two installments of seven episodes.

Here’s what bothers me about television series’ today. When I was a youngin’, Shows would debut in September and end in May. Sure, there would be a small break during Christmas, but you’d see twenty-something episodes a season. Now, you’re lucky if you see seventeen. Tree huggin’ hippie crap like mid-season finales piss me off, and exposes the laziness of the average television executive.

That said, the Mad Men situation is ridonkulous. Seven episodes over two years? What jackass came up with that brilliant plan?

You Deserve A Breakdown Today

Naked Woman Rages In McDonald's

Okay, which one of my female commenters went on a fast food rampage?

Astonishing surveillance footage has emerged of a naked woman going on the rampage in a Florida McDonald’s. The diner, who’s wearing just a pair of panties, is seen tearing apart what’s reported to be a St. Petersburg location.

Slamming her head on the counter, she throws cash registers onto the floor before tipping over a gigantic refrigerator. Her grand finale comes as she sticks her head under the soft-serve dispenser to fill her face with ice cream. (H/T – 911)

In this woman’s defense, I do the exact same thing when they’re our of fries. Of course, if she was filling her face with ice cream, she’s not a mental case; she just has PMS!

Burglar Gets His Feathers Rustled

Daffy Duck ShotMassachusetts police took time off from eating donuts and stalking ex-girlfriends to catch a master thief this week.

A North Reading woman called police Saturday from her upstairs bedroom to report that she heard loud banging noises downstairs and feared someone had broken into her home.

Officers who responded found no sign of a break-in. But during a quick search of the home, police found a soot-covered wood duck.

The duck was sentenced to one hour at 300 degrees.