Category Archives: The Job

Where The Robber Meets The Road

Colorado Officer Tackles GunmanA Colorado thug is rotting in a jail cell today after some damned fine work by Jefferson County Colorado deputies.

A man armed with a rifle and a handgun crashed a stolen SUV through a garage, and then attempted to carjack vehicles on Interstate 70 near Genesee before being tackled by a Jefferson County deputy…

…Carrying the rifle and handgun, the man hopped a fence onto nearby I-70 and tried to stop westbound several vehicles. Deputy Fred Haggett, on a motorcycle, jumped off his bike, drew his weapon and ordered the man to drop his weapons. The man put down the guns but kept backing away from Haggett, approaching one more vehicle before the deputy grabbed him and threw him to the ground. Several motorists got out of their cars to help hold down the man until other police officers could properly restrain him. (H/T – Brian)

The story is enthralling, but the video at the link is a must-see. Great job by all involved.

Grammer, Grammor, Grammur. Ah, Forget It!

Weird-Al-Word-CrimesI LOVE this song! It is Weird Al’s “Word Crimes.”

As a teacher in an urban school I struggle with teaching children proper grammar. The main reason it is so difficult to teach children how to speak and write correctly is because their parents do not know how to speak and write.

Some families have a legitimate excuse; English is their second language. For other families there is no excuse. They are ignorant, lazy or think it is cool to sound like a thug.

i'll try to educate youI wish I could instill in my students the importance of sounding intelligent rather than sounding like a brutha from the corner. I think I may play this song on a loop everyday during lunch. Maybe some of the information will sink in their little heads. I can only hope that something I do will make a difference in how they live their lives.

Indiana Marshal Can Sniff Out A Lie

David Hathaway Millersburg IndianaMeet David Hathaway of Millersburg, Indiana. He’s a cop, and he is getting to the bottom of women’s bottoms.

Town Marshal David Keith Hathaway, 59, has been charged with two counts of conversion, a class A misdemeanor, after allegedly taking panties belonging to his son’s girlfriend, who lives in his house.

The victim told Indiana State Police she first suspected something was going on in October 2013, when she found a pair of her panties in a gallon-sized bag, along with several other pairs of female underwear. The bag was hidden in a safe belonging to Hathaway.

After the victim found another pair of her panties wet and crumbled under her bed, she and her boyfriend set up a hidden camera in the room. [T]he video showed Hathaway entering her bedroom, picking up a pair of underwear she had left on the floor, holding the panties up to his nose and inhaling deeply.

I would ask why the panties were wet, but I do not want the answer to that question this early in the morning.

Delivery Us From Evil

Michael Harp KentuckyA Kentucky man was so appreciative of the officers who arrested him, he went out of his way to thank them… in thirty minutes or less.

Michael Harp, 29, was collared Tuesday afternoon and locked up at the police station in Corbin, a city in the Kentucky’s southeastern corner. While behind bars, Harp asked for permission to use his cell phone. Shortly after Harp made a call, a Domino’s delivery worker arrived at the precinct with five pepperoni pizzas. Patrolman Jeff Hill–unaware that a prank had been played–went ahead and paid $40 for the pizzas.

Not amused by the pizza prank, officers launched an investigation and quickly linked the pizza order to Harp’s phone. A Domino’s worker told cops that, after receiving the order, they placed a confirmation call to the number. Police allege that Harp “answered as Captain Wilson” when he spoke to the Domino’s employee.

Harp, who had originally faced only misdemeanor counts, was hit with three additional charges, including felony identity theft and impersonating a police officer. (H/T – Loki)

Come on, guys, where’s your sense of humor? Suck up the $40 and enjoy the pizza.

Jersey City Police Officer Murdered

Memorial To Cop Killing POS Lawrence CampbellEditor’s Note: This post contains quite a few “sentence enhancers.”

On Sunday, a scumbag thug ambushed Jersey City, NJ Police Officer Melvin Santiago, fatally shooting him. The scumbag thug was shot and killed by other officers on the scene.

Guess who is being memorialized today?

“Rest easy,” “Thug in peace” and “See u on the other side” were among the things friends wrote to Lawrence Campbell, who police say ambushed Officer Melvin Santiago early Sunday as he responded to an armed robbery call at a 24/7 pharmacy. Other officers returned fire, killing Campbell.

I hope every fucking person who attended that memorial loses someone close to them in a violent manner. Since it’s Jersey City, it won’t be long.

“He was a good man. He looked out for everybody on the block,” [Barbara] Jones told the newspaper.

Yeah, and I’m sure he also went to church every Sunday. Fuck you, Barbara Jones…

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Man Named Johnson Keeps Viagra In His Car

Gregory Johnson Walmart

Meet Gregory Johnson. Gregory is a former sex offender, but he’s trying to beat the rap.

Gregory Johnson, 53, allegedly parked next to the family – which included a child under the age of 16 – at a Walmart store in Apopka, then got out of his vehicle and began masturbating. The woman called police, who tracked down and searched Johnson’s vehicle, where they say they found a black bag full of Viagra and condoms.

Johnson, a registered sex offender, was on probation for alleged sexual assault. On Thursday, he was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior and violation of probation.

So the cops spanked Johnson with another arrest? Hopefully, he’ll face a stiff penalty.


Ada's Plastic PopoThe Ada, Oklahoma Police Department is staffed by a bunch of dummies.

Ada, Oklahoma’s cash-strapped police department can’t afford another traffic cop so it has turned to a CPR dummy named “Plastic Popo” to keep the peace. When dressed up in a blue police uniform and put behind the wheel of a police car, Plastic Popo looks enough like a human officer to get speeding drivers to slow down.

“We can’t keep people in every neighborhood that they complain about speeders, but we can put that car there and let it sit all day and it will slow people down,” Ada Police Chief Mike Miller told

But just because Popo isn’t real doesn’t mean he can’t be hurt on the job. His car was recently hit head-on and had to be towed off for repairs.

Now, like every cop injured on the job, Plastic Popo will apply for disability benefits and sue the city for pain and suffering.

Tales Of The Obvious

BET Stabbing Victim

Set your faces to stunned: There was violence during a BET Awards after-party.

Police say a man has been shot dead and four were wounded when a gunman opened fire at Monalizza Restaurant and Banquet Hall in East Hollywood about 5.15am Sunday. Rapper The Game is believed to have been in attendance at the party.

The two events ahead of Sunday night’s show were “unauthorized and unaffiliated with the BET Awards,” BET said in a statement. “The network and all organizers will continue to maintain a safe environment for all planned activities,” the statement said.

Police say a man in his 30s was stabbed after a fight broke out at a different party hosted by rapper Meek Mill at Lure Nightclub in Hollywood about 9pm Saturday.

The Daily Mail article snarks about the officer making no move to help the stabbing victim. The wound wasn’t life-threatening, brah; that’s what rescue is for.

New York Man Finally Gets The Point

New York Man With Knife In BackMeet Andrew Hardy. Andrew is a hard-working shlub who is just trying to make his way in this topsy turvy world. Sadly, the world keeps sticking it to him.

Andrew Hardy, 53, his shirt drenched in blood, appeared remarkably composed as he paced about the Jamaica restaurant at around 10 a.m., witnesses said. [W]orried fast-food patrons put down their Egg McMuffins to keep Hardy steady on his feet until medics could arrive.

Hardy was knifed a few minutes earlier when he tried to break up a mob of men hurling glass bottles at each other on Sutphin Boulevard near 91st Street, sources said. The brawl was just two blocks from the busy Jamaica Station commuter hub, which was bustling with Long Island Rail Road, subway and AirTrain riders.

Look, Drew took a stab at helping people, and he failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.

Minnesota Thug Wigs Out After Burglary

Nicholas Wig

Nicholas Wig is a special kind of stupid; so much so he needs to show it off while he is at work. His occupation? Burglar.

The victim of the alleged crime, James Wood, told police he returned to his home last week to find it ransacked and several items were stolen. He said then he also noticed that on his computer screen was a Facebook page belonging to one Nicholas Wig.

Police say Wig actually stopped to check his Facebook profile while committing his crime, and left if open. So Wood left his phone number on Wig’s page. And who should text him but Wig himself.

Wood explains, “I replied, ‘You left a few things at my house last night how can I get them back to you.’”

Wood had police waiting for Wig, who showed up at the house a short time later to get some other items he left behind. (H/T – Smite and 911)

Nicholas also believes he literally has Prince Albert in a can, the word “gullible” doe snot appear in the dictionary, and Ben Affleck was a good choice for Batman.