More Hot Air From The WIndy City

Vica Kerekes SeasideAnother Chicago-area lawmaker is proposing anti-gun legislation… for the chidrens. This time it is U.S. Representative Robin Kelly, a special snowflake who believes gun laws prevent shootings. In other news, there were 20 people shot in Kelly’s South Side district this weekend. But whatevs…

The report also advocates a federal “assault weapon” and “large” magazine ban more severe than the one in effect between 1994 and 2004, gun owner licensing, repealing Stand Your Ground laws, opposing national Right-to-Carry reciprocity, empowering the Consumer Products Safety Commission to regulate the manufacture of firearms, prohibiting unlicensed and mail order ammunition sales, reporting people who purchase 1,000 or more rounds, removing restrictions on public access to BATFE firearm trace data, repealing the federal law that prohibits frivolous lawsuits designed to bankrupt the firearm industry, requiring “ballistic fingerprinting,” pursuing “smart” gun technologies, and using taxpayer funds to pay for “research” that promotes gun control.

As always, the story or Vica; you make the call.

Sea Punt

US Marines UHAC Vehicle

Behold! The pride of the Obama administration’s defense department… the sea tank?

The Ultra Heavy-lift Amphibious Connector (Uhac) was unveiled at the Marine Corps Training Area Bellows in Hawaii during a month-long training and demonstration exercise. When it enters service at an unknown date the final vehicle will have a top speed of about 25 miles per hour and be capable of scaling obstacles such as sea walls 10 feet high.

The Uhac model consists of two tracks that are composed of dozens of air-filled foam blocks, which gives the vehicle the propulsion it needs for land and sea travel. In the water the tracks act as paddles but on land they are similar to a tank, letting it traverse across difficult terrain such as mud and sand.

It’s also very stylish. Our enemies will cower in fear when they see the Cape May-Lewes ferry barreling down upon them! “Lay down your weapons or we’ll be forced to blow our air horn!”

Former Dispatcher Gets Caught In Undertow

Dorian ParsleyDorian Parsley, a former dispatcher with the Philadelphia Police Department, has pleaded guilty to accepting bribes from tow truck operators in exchange for confidential information. She – wait, that’s a woman? – faces up to 35 years in prison.

Dorian Parsley, 44, typically took $100 to $200 for providing tips about the locations of car accidents and the locations of police department squad cars. She admitted that she received $35,400 in bribes, according to federal prosecutors.

Prosecutors said Parsley would text the information she learned from her personal cellphone to the tow truck operators. For an additional fee, Parsley ran the license plates and registration through her dispatch computer so the tow operators would have the name and addresses of the vehicle owners.

Let me say this about that. Philadelphia tow truck operators are the lowest form of human filth on the planet. They monitor police scanners for auto accidents, then drive like maniacs to the scene so they can fleece victims out of their money. From a police officer’s view, they cause more trouble than they solve, and they always interfere in our investigations. Why any member of the department would funnel info to these vultures is beyond me.

Personally, I think a 35-year sentence is too lenient, but that’s just me.

Turnin’ That Frown Upside Down

Taylor Kitsch Smiling

One of my partners in crime if having a rough go of things this week – and sadly for Mollie, it’s only Tuesday. She doesn’t want me to go into details – obviously, since she didn’t give me many – but if you could keep the kid in your thoughts, I’d greatly appreciate it.

Taylor Kitsch ScruffIn the interim, I figured I’d post some photos to lift her spirits. This is Taylor Kitsch, who played Michael Murphy in Lone Survivor, and Gambit in X-Men Origins: Wolverine.

I’m sure Mollie wouldn’t approve of my choice, just to be difficult, but it’s the thought that counts.

Hope you feel better soon, Molls.

Caption Contest Winners

Watch Your StepThe Watch That Slipstream Caption Contest is now over.

Top Five Entries:
5. “Hey guys! I can see my house from here!” – Richard D.
4. “Nobody move. I lost my contact lens.” – Mollie
3. “Make sure you secure the Generals Corvette before we dangle it for the fly by… or it’ll wreck the prank…” – Rodney Dill
2. “Something’s wrong with the tow line, guys! I can’t see the president anymore!” – Proof

WINNER! – “As God as my witness, I thought gingers could fly…”Sully

Lucy In The Sky, Wants Diamonds

Lucy Harrold Lingerie

Meet Britain’s Lucy Harrold. Lucy suffers from the oldest Pretty Girl Problem in the book. You see, she is so pretty, she simply cannot find a man! Riiiiight.

[T]he lingerie model, who has appeared in a host of men’s magazines maintains she never gets chatted up and is “unlucky in love.” To solve her romance woes, Lucy set up a website for similar singletons in her home town of Birmingham. “I think blokes are intimidated to approach people.”

They’re also annoyed by women who use the word “blokes.” I have been with intimidatingly pretty women before, and it isn’t fun. Especially if you’re an ugly guy like me. When we were dating, Mrs. Earp turned a lot of heads, and she always wore attention-grabbing outfits.

“A lot of guys assume I’ve got a boyfriend or that because I’m a model I won’t be interested but it’s not true. People don’t even offer to buy me drinks if I’m on a night out. I genuinely find it difficult to find a date to go on at all.”

Okay, I’ll bite..

Continue reading

Michigan Woman Has A Lot Of Spunk

Sadie BellMeet Sadie Bell of Southfield, Michigan. Like many red-blooded American women, Sadie really likes rolling the newspaper, so to speak. Of course, if you don’t perform to her expectations, She’ll slap you on the nose with it.

Sadie Bell, 58, a woman from Southfield, Michigan, was convicted in April of shooting her partner Edward Lee, 60, in the stomach with a Smith & Wesson semi-automatic handgun. She was convicted of assault with intent to do great bodily harm less than murder, plus a felony firearms charge.

Bell told police that she was angry at Lee for failing to produce enough ejaculate after coitus, leading her to believe that he was sleeping with another woman.

You may find this difficult to believe, but I have a few questions. First, what constitutes enough ejaculate? I mean, does it have to be bigger than a breadbox, or just enough for her to prove Mr. Lee was there?

Second, how would she know how much ejaculate Mr. Lee produced? Does she keep measuring cups on her nightstand? Is there a “fill line” which must be reached before she breaks out the revolver?

And finally, look at this woman. Is she really in a position complain about how many oil drums she’s getting delivered to her dockyard? I think not.

Get Your Beer Here! Seriously, Here?

beer holsterWho in the world needs this thing?! Seriously, how could anyone see the need for a beer holster?

Beer Belt Beer Holster

  • Holds up to 6 cans

  • 54” belt fits up to a size 50 waist

  • Adjustable straps

  • 100% cotton

  • Great gift

  • Perfect for tailgating

-Beer-Belt-Hops-Blue-6-Pack-Beer-HolsterDon’t get me wrong; I occasionally enjoy a cold adult beverage on a hot summer day. When worn around your waist does it stay cold? I would think not.

Now I am sure the “genius” inventor of this apparatus thought the beer holster would be a life-changing addition to people’s weekend wardrobes, but did he think about keeping the beer cold? I doubt it! That would be worth the money – a beer holster that keeps the beer and your body cool on a hot summer day.

Hey, I think I might be on to something. I can figure this out. I am a problem-solving kind of girl.

Don’t worry Wyatt, I’ll share the wealth. After I rake in my first million dollars.

Detroit Glock City

Vica Kerekes Red DressDetroit Police Chief James Craig took a radical approach to the city’s crime problem. He suggested the citizens arm themselves to protect themselves against the thugs. You’ll never believe what happened next…

The city of Detroit has seen its crime rate rapidly plummet over the last twelve months. Police Chief James Craig believes the rationale for the drop lies, in part, with private citizens who have armed themselves for self-defense.

“Criminals are getting the message that good Detroiters are armed and will use that weapon,” said Craig, who has repeatedly said he believes armed citizens deter crime. “I don’t want to take away from the good work our investigators are doing, but I think part of the drop in crime, and robberies in particular, is because criminals are thinking twice that citizens could be armed.

As always, you can read the rest here, of be lured into lust by my devilish photos.

The Spice of Life!

l_mugs16x9

Last weekend this classy couple was caught having sex on the roof of a Chipotle restaurant. Neither one of them is real pretty to look at. I guess that is why they are with each other.

A Delaware fast food restaurant featured a special attraction Saturday night as two people could easily be seen from the street having sex on the roof.

Michael Suh, 38, and Nicole Germack, 27, were arrested by Newark police after the two were viewed by many onlookers “engaging in sexual intercourse” on the roof of a Main Street Chipotle Mexican Grill.

To quote Jimmy Fallon, “This was the first time people heard someone scream, ‘Oh, God!’ and it was not coming from the bathroom.”