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Young viewers of children’s television programs in North Carolina got a glimpse of something far more risque than their favorite cartoons, when a cable glitch broadcast two hours of the Playboy channel.
“Due to a technical malfunction, some adult programs had been diverted on children’s networks,” Time Warner Cable vice president of public relations Alex Dudley told AFP on Wednesday.
In other news, emergency rooms were inundated with cases of hormone overload today.
You know that elderly drunken uncle that attends all of the family gatherings? The guy who embarrasses everyone around him when he says exactly what is on his mind? The guy without an internal edit button? He is the person most responsible for all of the Christmas cringes and Festivus face-palms that make normal people want to avoid family functions like the plague.
Vice President Joe Biden asked for God’s blessing for the late mother of Irish Prime Minister Brian Cowen during a White House celebration of St. Patrick’s Day — except the elderly lady is very much alive.
“God rest her soul,” Biden said Wednesday night as he introduced Cowen and President Barack Obama. He quickly caught himself and noted that it’s Cowen’s father who is no longer living. Of the prime minister’s mother, Biden said, “God bless her soul.”
Thank God we dodged that Sarah Palin bullet and elected this genius.
In this story, it benefits the cops and not the crooks. Read on:
Two suspects shot dead in a St. Patrick’s Day bank robbery in Gallatin remained unidentified as of Wednesday evening.
The two white male suspects, one of whom was dressed as a leprechaun, led a chase from the bank, disabled a patrol car and fired on police before meeting their end.
“I don’t know that both suspects were shot by police,” Gallatin police Sgt. Bill Storment said. “I don’t know if perhaps one suspect shot the other or if one shot himself.”
No one else was harmed in the incident, Storment said. The suspects left the bank with an undisclosed amount of cash, which was later recovered from the getaway car.
Apparently, the suspects thought the police were after their pot o’ gold.
A South Jersey Walmart store is in hot water today after someone made an insensitive announcement over the store’s PA system. The store management later apologized for the comments. Of course, anyone could have made the announcement, since there are store phones every ten feet, but the Philly media seems content to blame Walmart management:
Wal-Mart officials are reviewing security tapes after an announcement was made for “all black people” to leave a southern New Jersey store.
Shortly before 7 p.m. Sunday, a male voice came over the public-address system at the Route 42 store in Washington Township and calmly announced: “Attention Wal-Mart customers: All black people leave the store now.”
Washington Township police and the Gloucester County Prosecutor’s Office are investigating the incident as a possible bias crime.
Stop it. How bored must the Washington Township be if they are investigating this idiocy as a bias crime. Where exactly is the crime here? It was an insensitive, ignorant comment made by an idiot. But a crime? Eh, not so much.
Besides, if Walmart is asking people to leave the store, they should be asking people like this:
The call girl who brought down New York governor Elliot Spitzer, almost pulled a Michael Jackson during her photo shoot for an eight-page spread in Playboy magazine.
While lying nude on the ground surrounded by candles, her hair caught fire, the New York Post reported Tuesday.
“A few strands of her hair caught fire at one point because of all the hairspray,” a source told the paper.
Well, on a positive note, the flames and smoke probably killed the crabs. What? I’m just sayin’.
Little is known of Patrick’s early life, though we know he was born in Roman Britain in the fifth century, into a wealthy Romano-British family. His father was a deacon in the Church, like his father before him. At the age of sixteen he was kidnapped by Irish raiders and taken captive to Ireland as a slave. According to his Confession, he was told by God in a dream to flee from captivity to the coast, where he would board a ship and return to Britain. Upon returning, he quickly joined the Church in Auxerre in Gaul and studied to be a priest.
In 432, he again says that he was called back to Ireland, though as a bishop, to save the Irish, and indeed he was successful at this, focusing on converting royalty and aristocracy as well as the poor. Irish folklore tells that one of his teaching methods included using the shamrock to explain the Holy Trinity (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit) to the Irish people. After nearly thirty years of teaching and spreading God’s word he died on 17 March, 461 AD, and was buried at Downpatrick, so tradition says. Although there were other more successful missions to Ireland from Rome, Patrick endured as the principal champion of Irish Christianity and is held in esteem in the Irish Church.
The shame of the holiday – besides the binge drinking – it that it has become almost completely secularized. That’s why I posted the story of Patrick the Saint and not the occasion of Saint Patrick’s Day. I hope that makes sense.
Can anyone give me an explanation why people would willingly travel to the Middle East? The entire prehistoric region is trapped in the 5th Century. Don’t believe me? Take this story, for example, where a British couple is facing a year in jail for kissing.
DUBAI – A British pair caught kissing in public in Dubai face up to a month in jail in the Gulf Arab emirate for indecency after an Emirati mother complained her child had seen their indiscretion.
The pair, a British man living in Dubai and a female friend, were arrested in November on accusations of kissing and touching each other intimately in public and consuming alcohol, their lawyer said. They were ordered jailed for a month.
The case is the third time in under two years in which Britons have hit the headlines by falling foul of decency laws in Dubai, a flashy Muslim emirate popular with sun-seeking Western tourists and expatriates.
Yeah, I think my conversion to Islam is on hold now. /snark
Obama told a group of guppies yesterday that with Obamacare their premiums will decrease by 3,000%. And, they actually clapped and screamed when he fed them this manure:
Now, I’m no mathematician, but if your employer’s premiums are $1,000 a year . . . okay, carry the one . . . that means after ObamaCare is passed your boss will be given $29,000 back from the insurance companies!
House Republicans have announced that they will force a vote on ObamaCare this week in an effort to derail the completely unconstitutional “Slaughter solution.” What’s that? It’s Obama and Pelosi’s plan to pass ObamaCare without an actual up or down vote.
“House Republican leaders will announce this morning a plan to force a vote this week on a resolution that would require the Senate health care bill to be brought to an actual up-or-down vote. If passed by the House, the resolution would prohibit Speaker Pelosi from implementing the “Slaughter Solution,” the scheme by which House Democratic leaders are seeking to “deem” the Senate bill as passed without an actual vote in the House.”
If nothing else, at least the Republicans are united on this issue. Maybe they finally learned their lessons from the mistakes of the past.
According to the latest polling data, more than 60% of the people in this country do not want ObamaCare – at least not in its current form. If you’re one of them, click here to make your voice heard.
