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You know, most American protesters are dirty, filthy hippies who have so many platforms that they can never stay on point. Perhaps they could take a page from the Ukrainian group Femen, who unsheathed their cans to make a point about political freedoms.
Now this is a protest I can get behind . . . or in front of.
KIEV – Four young women naked from the waist up barged into a Ukrainian polling station on Sunday and held a rowdy protest just before a candidate in the country’s presidential election cast his ballot there.
The women, members of a small feminist group called Femen known for staging eye-catching protests, were hustled out of the Kiev polling station by security guards before Viktor Yanukovich showed up to vote, AFP journalists saw.
“Enough raping our democracy!” shouted the protesters, who held signs with slogans such as “Help! Rape!” and wore nothing except for jeans and strips of green electrical tape over their nipples.
The women told reporters they were protesting against “the end of democracy” in Ukraine and not specifically against Yanukovich or in favour of his rival, Prime Minister Yulia Tymoshenko.
Speaking of Yulia, I wouldn’t mind her joining the protesters. Just sayin’.
They truly earned this Super Bowl win by beating a phenomenal team. And as an added bonus, they secured an NFL championship before the Philadelphia Eagles.
Bawahahahahahahaha!!!
Now in all fairness, I did not want to Saints to win. I think I made that perfectly clear. The last thing I wanted to hear about was Katrina again, and a Super Bowl win would embolden the morons who think the storm was personally created by George W. Bush.
So, why am I giving the Saints their props now? Because they helped me win $240 in my Super Bowl pools! I wonder what I can buy with that kind of scratch . . .
Nah, too pricey. Maybe I can just rent one for five minutes? That’s about four minutes more than I’d need, but this way I can include time for dressing and undressing.
Today is my wife’s um, 30-ish birthday. Being a terrific husband, I do not have her present yet. The snowstorm put a crimp in my plans, and since she wants a new digital camera, I need her to tell me which one is the one for really loves.
(Yeah, I’m an idiot.)
So, I’ll be grabbing that today after work – hopefully – then I will be taking her out to dinner; with the brood, of course. And to cap off a romantic evening, I’ll be jetting out of the house at 9:30 for my hockey game.
(Come on ladies, you know you want a guy just like me.)
Okay, I admit I’ve been a sub-par husband at best, but I try really hard with the little brains I have. I would skip the game if she asked me to, but she won’t – probably because she wants a quiet night at home without the moron. Who can blame her? To be perfectly honest, she should have dumped me many, many years ago.
Either way, she won’t have to slave in front of a stove for an evening, and we can finally go out to dinner to a place that doesn’t have an “IHoP” in its name – no matter how much the boys beg and plead to go there. Heh.
After a full month break, Monkey and Bird is back gracing SYLG with its humor. Locally written and illustrated, it is distributed by CO2 comics, and pimped by yours truly. I know the talent behind the copy, and trust me when I tell you they’re good people.
Hey, who wants to buy some Chinese imports . . . cheap? What, no takers? You folks have a problem with lead in your kids’ toys? You sound like the Consumer Product Safety Commission, the folks who just issued recalls of Chinese-made clothing and toys. Bunch of Nervous Nellies if you ask me, since the Chinese would never willingly sell us tainted goods, right?
This Chinese order torture is the subject of this week’s Family Security Matters article. Here’s a snippet:
In the past few decades, the United States has enjoyed friendly trade relations with China. These relations have more or less normalized in recent years, and American financial investment in the country is well over $40 billion. In fact, China and Japan account for almost 10 percent of all American trade. Suffice to say, the arrangement has been beneficial to both countries. Lately however, there have been serious issues with Chinese exports, specifically with clothing and children’s toys.
The complaints are too numerous to mention: dangerous lead levels in baby rattles, toxic formaldehyde in clothing, and pajamas that are more flammable than Rip Torn’s breath. Heck, when given the choice between American-made underwear and a Chinese-made video game, most children would gladly take the underwear! To date, no person has ever found an “Inspected By #99” sticker in a Beijing export. Evidently, their components and their quality control are an ancient Chinese secret . . .
Amanda Seyfried showed her sense of humor when she predicted the impending New York snowfall Thursday night. Seyfried and her “Dear John” costar Channing Tatum were doing a Q&A at the Soho Apple store.
As Seyfried’s first big role was Karen in 2004’s “Mean Girls,” who believed she could predict the weather with her breasts, an audience member asked Seyfried what she thought of the rumored impending snowfall.
Seyfried paused, thought, and answered it “felt like 10 to 12 inches.”
Philadelphia is getting hit pretty hard with a major snowstorm today, and while the shoveling will suck, at least I have an entire day off to do it. I can’t say for sure if I will be able to make another snowboarding course for the boys out front, but I’m sure gonna try.
INDEPENDENCE TOWNSHIP, Mich. – A 62-year-old sledder looking for a burst of power got it when the homemade rocket strapped to his back exploded, burning him over nearly 20 percent of his body. Oakland County Undersheriff Mike McCabe said the man, whose identity hasn’t been released, was hospitalized in stable condition Monday.
The man was hosting a Sunday night sledding party when he filled an automobile muffler with gasoline and gunpowder, strapped it to his back and had it lit, seeking what McCabe called “a rocket-launch effect.”
The device blew up as the man headed downhill, causing second-degree burns to his face and right side of his body and possible eye damage.
Congratulations, sir, you just won a trip to JackassWorld!
In honor of the brutal snowstorm that is pummeling Philadelphia today – we already have at least 18 inches of global warming on the ground – I give you this . . .
Dude. Sit down, relax, and have a Fresca. We’ll get through this.
UPDATE: The semi-official tally is 26 inches. I shoveled my driveway, walkway (Captain America helped with some of that) and those of the neighbor’s across the street. Back hurts, arms hurt, knees hurt. Going to bed at 9pm. Sad.
And for that matter, what the Hell is going on in the nation’s school districts? Political correctness is running amok through the corridors of our learning institutions, and it is doing so without a hall pass. What’s more, the teachers and administrators have become hanging judges in the face of even the slightest disciplinary infractions. Arresting a 12-year old girl for scribbling on a desk – using an erasable marker – is a little extreme, in my opinion.
Alexa Gonzalez was scribbling a few words on her desk Monday while waiting for her Spanish teacher to pass out homework at Junior High School 190 in Forest Hills, she said.
“I love my friends Abby and Faith,” the girl wrote, adding the phrases “Lex was here. 2/1/10″ and a smiley face.
She was led out of school in cuffs and walked to the precinct across the street, where she was detained for several hours, she and her mother said.
Dude. Sadly, this is a huge problem in Philly as well. The Philadelphia School District sends so many b.s. arrests to our division – possession of scissors in a classroom: seriously – that we barely have enough time to process real jobs, like robbery and aggravated assault. And the commissioner wonders why clearances are down.
Top Five Entries: 5. Shotgun wedding. – Deanna 4. Intergalactic marriages: they never work. – RT 3. The most awkward part of the ceremony was when the father of the bride turned to the groom and said, “Luke, I’m your father!” – Proof 2. “You had me at ‘Klaatu Barada Nicto’” – Rodney Dill
WINNER! – Admiral Ackbar’s warning, “It’s a trap!!” goes unheeded once again. – Sully
(And shame on all of you. No one thought of “May Divorce Be With You?”)
