Glum’s The Word

bitchy_resting_face_tIn the past – okay, in the present – I have been accused of looking miserable ALL THE TIME. I get a grumpy or blank look on my face. I credit this expression to my profession. Teachers are not supposed to smile during the first month of school. It’s an unwritten rule.

When I had kids I was tired all the time. Smiling and looking happy takes energy. Who wants to smile when they have no energy? Not this lady.

My ever-so-pleasant husband tried to come up with a name for this glum expression I wore everyday. I was briefly called “Miss Miserable” and just plain old “Grumpy.” I was called grumpy so often by him that I bought myself a Grumpy t-shirt from the Disney store. I wore it to bed, so he would know not to even try asking for any affection.

A few months later he had a new name for my expression – Bitchy Resting Face. I do not know where he heard it or read it, but it stuck. He told our neighbors and family members. The name was used a few times, until I developed my “If looks could kill you would be dead face.” Then people stopped using the phrase BRF around me.

I want you to know that I am a happy person. I have pleasant and even happy expressions in my repertoire. My smiles are reserved for my children, my students and people who make me feel really, really happy. I do not give smiles away for free. You need to earn them.

You should read the article in the link. It’s pretty true. I should know. My name is Mollie and I suffer from Bitchy Resting Face.

Vincenzo Nibali Wins The Tour De France

Vincenzo Nibali Wins Tour De France

Yes, you may not care, but I’ve watched every Tour since 2000. I would have seen more of this Tour, but with the World Cup going on at the same time…

Vincenzo Nibali emerged on Sunday from a Tour de France marked by inclement weather and almost cruel eliminations of other favorites as the race’s first Italian winner in 16 years.

To some extent, Nibali benefited from the misfortune of others. Chris Froome, the defending champion from Britain, quit early in the three-week race after three crashes. Then Alberto Contador hit a sinkhole and broke his leg, again on a damp and chilly day.

But Nibali, 29, who rides for Astana, did not cruise to a win by default. He won four stages of the Tour. Three of them came in each of the mountain ranges the ranges the Tour traversed this year: the Vosges, the Alps and the Pyrenees. All of the wins were decisive.

Absolutely correct. When Nibali was on, he was head over heels better than every other rider. Congratulations also to Peter Sagan of Slovakia, who won the highest points overall, mostly for sprints…

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Doctor May Face Discipline For Stopping Madman

Vica Kerekes Bridge

In the aftermath of a tragedy, a local health system may perpetuate another one.

The physician who stopped a shooting rampage at Mercy Fitzgerald Hospital outside Philadelphia Thursday may be disciplined for his actions. As reported by MisguidedChildren, Doctor Lee Silverman was armed at the time of the incident, and fired at patient Richard Plotts after he shot and killed case worker Theresa Hunt.

However, despite his heroic, likely life saving acts, the doctor may end up unemployed as gratitude. According to the Employee Code of Conduct for Mercy Health System, employees are prohibited from bringing firearms or explosives of any kind into the workplace.

As usual, you can find the rest of the story here, or wrap yourself in the deliciousness.

Where The Robber Meets The Road

Colorado Officer Tackles GunmanA Colorado thug is rotting in a jail cell today after some damned fine work by Jefferson County Colorado deputies.

A man armed with a rifle and a handgun crashed a stolen SUV through a garage, and then attempted to carjack vehicles on Interstate 70 near Genesee before being tackled by a Jefferson County deputy…

…Carrying the rifle and handgun, the man hopped a fence onto nearby I-70 and tried to stop westbound several vehicles. Deputy Fred Haggett, on a motorcycle, jumped off his bike, drew his weapon and ordered the man to drop his weapons. The man put down the guns but kept backing away from Haggett, approaching one more vehicle before the deputy grabbed him and threw him to the ground. Several motorists got out of their cars to help hold down the man until other police officers could properly restrain him. (H/T – Brian)

The story is enthralling, but the video at the link is a must-see. Great job by all involved.

Double Your Article, Double Your Fun

Vica Kerekes Steps

My post about Darth Vader and the 2016 POTUS candidates also became my most recent USMC article. The idea was obviously double good. Or not:

No one polls higher than Darth Vader, because unlike the current list of POTUS candidates, Vader got things done. Vader believed in securing the borders, by force – or The Force – if necessary.

Think immigrants could simply land on the Death Star without the necessary paperwork? Think again. Why else would there be so many trash compacters on the battle station?

As always, use the Force to read the story, or try to force yourself away from Vica.

New Jersey And Sue: Prefect Together

Jersey Boardwalk Pizza And Garden State ParkwayNew Jersey’s Garden State Parkway is suing a pizzeria for utilizing a similar logo to their own. The pizzeria is located in Florida – 1,300 miles away.

While its meatball pizzas and hoagies might mimic the pleasures of the Jersey Shore, it’s the logo of a Florida Keys pizzeria that the New Jersey Turnpike Authority says goes too far in evoking the Garden State.

The agency this week sued Jersey Boardwalk Pizza in New Jersey federal court, saying its logo “directly copied and appropriated” that of the Garden State Parkway. The restaurant’s merchandise and fact that pizzas are sold in the turnpike’s service areas could confuse consumers, it said.

“There’s no way someone is going to mistake my logo for that of the parkway – we’re 1,300 miles away,” said Paul DiMatteo, co-owner of the Tavernier, Florida, restaurant, which also has a franchise in Florida City.

The Parkway, whose tolls rise more often than the sun, is suing for the pizzeria’s profits and unspecified damages… as if anything can damage the Parkway more than a ridiculous frivolous lawsuit.

Sexy Saturday 9

jake_gyllenhaal

jake-gyllenhaal-nudeThis is the official Anti-Babe Post!

I decided to go with Jake Gyllenhaal this week.

I found a few pictures while browsing the web that qualified him for the Sexy Saturday posts.

There really aren’t any requirements besides looking good with your clothes off. :)

jake-gyllenhaal-naked

Iowa City Just Rolls With It

Toilet PaperThe city of Eldridge, Iowa is embarking on an interesting initiative. They are urging people to wipe the town of outside toilet toilet paper brands.

An Iowa community’s campaign urging residents to buy toilet paper locally was bound to be the butt of jokes.

But to the Eldridge-North Scott area, it’s serious business. The “Shop, Stay and Wipe Local” drive could boost the area economy by $677,000, according to one estimate.

In Philadelphia, we have a similar program. It’s entitled, “Wipe yourself. For the love of Pete, please wipe yourself!”

Pothead Disrespects The People’s House

Snoop DoggThis may come as a shock to you, but I despise rapper Snoop Dogg – actually I despise all rappers, but Snoop occupies a special place in my bile duct. I hate him even more after this ridiculous stunt.

He’s been to some high places in his time, but now Snoop Dogg has turned even the White House green – by lighting a cannabis joint in the bathroom.

The rapper claimed he reassured Secret Service agents he would only be igniting a ‘napkin’ before having a luxurious solo smoke on a recent visit. And of course he ranks with the President himself – who has probably never lit up in the executive mansion, but was a heavy smoker as a young man.

I honestly don’t know what infuriates me more; that this no-talent junkie smoked weed in the White House, or that the no-talent pothead “president” invited him there.