Category Archives: Philly

The Sun Is Ricin…

Hazmat Scene

So, this is what I walked into this morning. If I’m dead in a week, you’ll know why.

The Philadelphia Fire Department responded to Northwest Detectives/35th Police District at Broad and Champlost Streets in the city’s Olney section after a clear 2-by-2 clear cellophane package containing a white powdery substance was found around 5:15 a.m., according to emergency responders.

Members of the fire department’s hazmat unit removed the package from the building and took it into a waiting response vehicle to determine exactly what was in the package.

Okay, here’s the skinny. A victim called 911 and said she was sent an envelope without a return address. The envelope contained an unknown white powder. The officer then inexplicably brings the powder to our office, where it sat in the safe for a day or so. The safe gets emptied, the powder is noticed, and boom… Hazmat Team.

God, I love my job.

Untamed Chart

Benjamin Franklin's Average DayA new book has detailed history’s geniuses’ average day, by plotting their actions hour by hour.

What makes a genius a genius? According to these graphics, it’s good time management. Using Mason Currey’s book Daily Rituals: How Artists Work – which draws on diaries and letters from the thinkers themselves – designer RJ Andrews has mapped out the comings and goings of some of history’s most important figures, right down to the hour.

From Balzac drinking 50 cups of black coffee a day, to Milton spending hours memorizing the Bible, the results are not always as you would expect. The variation is also surprising, from Freud’s 13 hours of work a day to Mozart’s four, there is not, alas, a simple recipe for success.

Heh, heh, “Balzac.” Now I know what you’re thinking: “Wyatt, you’re one of the greatest geniuses of our era. How do you spend your average day.” Well, I’m glad you asked…

Continue reading

PPD Officer Jacks Up Citizen

Joseph HarveyWhile held to a higher standard, the average police officer is as flawed as you and me. Of course, some are more flawed than others.

JOSEPH HARVEY, the ex-cop accused of masturbating in front of a woman against her will in an abandoned Kensington rowhouse in 2009, took the stand in his own defense yesterday, testifying that their sexual encounter was consensual.

Harvey said he had first met her on the street a month earlier and that they had flirted, so on this evening he got out of the car to talk with her. She confided that there would be a drug stash at a rowhouse on D Street near Kensington Avenue, and they walked to the house so she could show it to him, Harvey said. They went inside.

“I said she had a nice body,” testified Harvey, 39, dressed in a dark suit and blue tie. “She had nice breasts. I was beginning to get aroused. I told her they looked good. And she took her pants off. At this point, she began touching herself. And I pulled out my penis and did the same thing. When I was finished . . . “

A few hours after the media posted the story, this happened:

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: A federal jury at 4:25 p.m. Wednesday acquitted Joseph Harvey and Sean Cahill.

So, yeah… I got nothin’.

Body Found Outside Philly Train Station

Nadia Malik Crime SceneA Broomall, PA woman missing for two weeks was found dead inside a vehicle outside Philadelphia’s 30th Street Station. The cause of death is so far unknown.

Police have identified a young woman found dead near Philadelphia’s 30th Street Station as a Delaware County woman who has been missing for nearly two weeks.

Marple Township Chief of Police Tom Murray tells NBC10 the body of Nadia Malik was found inside her black Nissan along the unit block of S. 30th Street in Philadelphia around 12:15 p.m. on Thursday. That is behind the Internal Revenue Service’s Philadelphia headquarters and across the street from Amtrak’s 30th Street Station.

Philadelphia Police Lt. John Walker says the woman’s body was found slumped over in the passenger seat of the car, under a pile of books.

Walker said the car had been parked along 30th Street for 12 days and had multiple parking tickets attached to the windshield — the first ticket dated Feb. 9. Walker said the car was covered in snow most of the time it was parked along the street.

So someone, most likely a SETPA or AMTRAK police officer, kept placing parking tickets on a car with a dead woman inside. Unbelievable.

The Feel-Good Story Of The Day

Ironworkers Local Union 401Philadelphia’s Ironworkers Local Union 401 held a party yesterday, and federal agents were the only ones invited.

The United States Attorney released a sweeping indictment Tuesday of Ironworkers Local Union 401, which is based in Northeast Philadelphia. Ten members, including the union’s top leadership, have been arrested.

Union boss Joe Dougherty was among 10 men arrested, including most of the union’s top brass. Authorities say Dougherty was in complete control of the union’s legal and illegal business. Only Action News was there as Dougherty left federal court after posting bail.

Surveillance video allegedly shows three of the defendants doing what they called “night work.” They allegedly used baseball bats to beat non-union workers at a construction site in King of Prussia.

Investigators have documented 11 incidents in which, they say, union goons intimidated and beat people who hired non-union workers. In some cases they also allegedly resorted to arson and vandalism.

Wow, I am shocked and appalled. It must be the name. John “Johnny Doc” Doughtery is the IBEW’s union kingpin here. Not that he would do anything like this. /sarc



In the winter’s most recent crotch punch, it is snowing today. AGAIN. If capable, stay the hell home. It took me 2 hours to get from Center City to King of Prussia. The roads are crappy. The drivers are crappy. Last nite’s Super Bowl sucked.

Stay home today on the couch, eat some ice cream, and play Star Trek Online, World of Tanks, or whatever. Just STAY HOME and BE SAFE. Readership of my posts are low enough as it is! And look below. Wish Wyatt well!

New Jersey Man Has An Ass To Grind

Vincent Wade Spanking The MonkeyWhen I post stories from work, I always emphasize the fact they’re absolutely true. I do that because most of the time, they seem like fiction. This week, Philly Mag published some “fiction” of its own.

On Monday morning at 10:30 a.m, a 34-year-old Pennsauken, New Jersey man crashed his car into the Crown Fried Chicken at 5th and Lehigh in North Philadelphia and then disrobed.

An onlooker shot this video, which captures what the man does next. He was charged with a DUI. Why he wasn’t charged with indecent exposure or public lewdness is anyone’s guess. Though the video isn’t 100% clear as to the self-pleasuring activity, the man who shot the video tells me, “Oh, he was most definitely making himself feel happy.”

The crash occurred less than 400 feet from an elementary school.

There is video at the link. I wouldn’t recommend it. In 19+ years, I’ve seen a lot of naked people. Sadly, they are usually found in scenarios like this one. The most unbelievable part of this story is the fact Wade wasn’t murdered. 5th & Lehigh is an intersection you want to avoid on a normal day. You certainly don’t want to be there while naked and pleasuring yourself.

More Election Shenanigans In Philadelphia

Dark Clouds Over PhillyPhiladelphia has always been a breeding ground for political corruption, especially during election season. The 2012 presidential election was no different, and now it seems someone wanted the city’s unemployment to drop dramatically during the election’s home stretch.

There was a distinct impression in the Philadelphia office of the Census Bureau that someone wanted the unemployment rate to drop in the months before the 2012 presidential election, according to a source who has already been interviewed by Congress. And this was a first.

“It’s never come up prior to this administration,” said my source, who has worked through both the Bush and Clinton presidencies.

What happened to the unemployment rate right before the last presidential election was pretty dramatic. In August 2012, the jobless rate fell dramatically, to 8.1 percent from 8.3 percent, eliciting howls from Republicans. This drop occurred right after Obama had, by most accounts, whiffed in his first debate against Republican Mitt Romney.

In the Philly office, I’m told, the manipulators were up to the challenge. Messages like “we need the unemployment rate to stay low because it’s election time,” were being disseminated by supervisors, according to my source. (H/T – Kitty)

I have no confidence in Darrell Issa’s House Oversight Committee. Nothing will come of this.

Philadelphia, wedged between Washington, D.C. and New York City, has always been a small potatoes town nationally, so election fraud continually goes unnoticed. This is the first I’ve heard of this, and I read nearly every day. It won’t surprise you to learn the Philadelphia media, like the people involved in this scandal, have a vested interest in the success of Democrat politicians. The fact a writer from the NY Post broke this story speaks volumes.

At the end of the day, Barack Obama – like every Democrat politician – would have easily won Philadelphia. They didn’t need to resort to fraud, but they did, anyway. Ironically, the Democrats’ cries of “Voter Disenfranchisement!!!” have merit. There is voter disenfranchisement in Philadelphia; if you do not vote the right way, your vote will be suppressed.

There Will Be Blood


A shocking study revealed my home state ranked fourth nationally in black homicides. The study is only shocking because I figured Pennsylvania would be ranked higher.

PENNSYLVANIA ranked fourth nationwide in black homicide victimization in 2011, according to an organization that ranked the state second in the previous year. The Washington, D.C.-based Violence Policy Center, which released the new study Thursday, said the latest figures show that Pennsylvania had 29.02 homicides per 100,000 black civilians in 2011.

In 2011 — the latest year for which FBI statistics are available — blacks accounted for half of all homicide victims nationwide, yet represented 13 percent of the U.S. population.

Philly must’ve carried the state. Black-on-black crime is out of control in this city, and most of its politicians – the majority of whom are black – do nothing to stem the tide. It’s a disgrace.

Chad Dion Lassiter, president of Black Men at Penn School of Social Work and a member of the Philadelphia Prison Board of Trustees, called the data “alarming.”

So is Mr. Lassiter the president of black men, president of black men at Penn School, or president of black men at Penn School of Social Work. Help me out here.