Say hello to the newest addition of the Evil family. On Saturday the Evil Surgeon and I adopted this little ball of stench and cuteness. Her name is Payton. No, not after legendary quarterback and horse look-alike Peyton Manning…after the Sweetness, Walter Payton. Guess whose girl is from Chicago?
Few people can deny America in on the decline today. Unemployment is up, the economy is down, and there appears to be no light at the end of the tunnel. But all is not lost for the shining city on the hill, because bacon sales are at an all time high.
Indeed, for food marketers and foodies alike, bacon is the gift that keeps on giving, a culinary trend that unlike, say, cupcakes never seems to get old. Bacon sales in the U.S. have increased in each of the last four years, according to market researcher Information Resources, Inc. (IRI). In 2013 alone, sales climbed 9.5% to an all-time high of nearly $4 billion. A survey by pork supplier Smithfield even found that 65% of Americans would support the idea of making bacon our “national food.”
The bottom line: “It’s a bacon nation, and we just live in it,” declares The National Provisioner, a trade publication that tracks the meat business.
If the GOP had any sense, they’d change their logo from an elephant to a pig.
Clint Eastwood, for my money, one of the greatest actors of all time, performed the Heimlich maneuver on the director of a PGA event, saving his life.
Clint Eastwood added another starring role at the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am – life saver.
Eastwood attended a volunteer party on the eve of the PGA Tour event when he noticed tournament director Steve John choking on a piece of cheese. The 83-year-old actor quickly performed the Heimlich maneuver Wednesday night at the Monterey Conference Center.
“I looked in his eyes and saw that look of panic people have when they see their life passing before their eyes,” Eastwood told The Carmel Pine Cone. “It looked bad.” He said it was the first time he had used the Heimlich maneuver.
“I can’t believe I’m 202 pounds and he threw me up in the air three times,” John said.
That’s because he’s Clint F**king Eastwood!
A young Bosnian judge has been fired after being pictured in her office exercising and sunbathing in the nude.
A female High Court Judge in Bosnia and Herzegovina has been sacked after she stripped off naked and laid down on her office desk to sunbathe. It revealed that she had been spotted in her office at 8am where she could clearly be seen exercising in the nude, and later she had laid on the table, either to relax or sunbathe.
The matter ended up with the disciplinary commission of the Supreme Court, and she was fired after it ruled her behavior had “damaged the image of the Supreme Court.”
On the contrary, in the opinion of a guy who has to look at Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Elena Kagan, this judge’s actions enhanced the image of the Bosnian Supreme Court!
The magnificent bastards at Oreo are unveiling two new flavors – and both of them will be big hits with ovulating women.
Oreo has decided it’s time to unlock some new magic. The cookie maker is debuting two new flavors this winter: Cookie Dough and Marshmallow Crispy.
The Cookie Dough flavor has the chocolate sandwich cookies filled with a cookie dough flavored crème. The Marshmallow Crispy flavor is reminiscent of a Rice Krispies treat, with vanilla-flavored sandwich cookies.
Okay, I’m all for cookie dough ice cream, and the cookie dough Pop Tarts aren’t terrible. But cookie dough Oreos? I don’t think I’m going there.
Today is my cousin/friend/co-blogger Dr. Evil’s birthday. The good doctor has been a lifesaver for me here, as it’s become more and more difficult to post as often as I used to. between kids, work, and all-around family life, I don’t have enough hours in the day anymore. His offer to help out has been a godsend.
But the doc is like that. He is always there to help a friend or family member in need. Sometimes, people take advantage. Sometimes, those people are made up for by other people. Like gorgeous, good-hearted Evil Surgeons. Life is good for Doc right now, but I figured I’d post some ScarJo, anyway.
And a bonus photo…
Archer, the funniest (and arguably greatest) show on television returns tonight with the season five premiere. I. Can. Not. Wait.
FX’s hit show Archer, which follows the travails of an incompetent spy organization, is no longer about a spy organization. Archer Executive Producer Matt Thompson explained. Wait, what? Why?
“There is a big radical departure this season on Archer and that came about frankly because Adam [Reed] got bored. And so you have a show that is successful and/or becoming more successful and we decided to change everything because we were bored and because we just want to make the show that makes us interested and happy in the end.
The ISIS spy agency is gone, and travels to South American drug cartels are in the cards. “[T]hey have one ton of cocaine and they decide that they’re going to sell it,” Thompson said of the new story. “They’re just going to sell a ton of cocaine and everybody’s going to become a multi-millionaire and retire. [A]s you might expect, they are not so successful at selling one ton of cocaine.” New, very different adventures await for the crew. (H/T – Alan)
Some Archer fans are up in arms about this, but I look at it this way. When the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy came out, I thought Christian Bale was an awful choice for the lead. I was wrong. Then I thought casting Heath Ledger as The Joker was ridiculous. I was wrong. I learned to trust Nolan’s judgment, just as I do Thompson and Reed’s. Archer is still going to be the funniest show on television, no matter where the action takes place.
Archer premieres tonight at 10pm Eastern on FX.
Post-Episode Update: Fantastic! It took me 45 minutes to watch a half-hour show, mostly because I had to keep rewinding the interrogation scenes. I was laughing so loudly I missed some of the dialogue.
There was absolutely no point in posting anything before noon, because so many of you are lousy drunks. And yes, I’m looking right at Dr. Evil.
That said, I hope you all have a happy and healthy new year. Thank you all for reading, commenting, and drooling over the photos.
I’m working tonight – of course; it’s a holiday – but I’ll get to see the NHL’s Winter Classic this afternoon. And as I type this, it’s snowing in Ann Arbor. Sweet!
“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.” – Luke 2:11-14
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Two posts are Christmas Eve mainstays here at SYLG. The first, and most important of the two, is the link to NORAD Tracks Santa. If you have young children at home, it’s a terrific way to track the jolly fat man – Santa, not Chris Christie – on his annual journey.
On Christmas Eve, tens of thousands of children around the globe will gather around their family telephones and computers to track the path of Santa Claus as he makes his rounds delivering gifts on his sleigh led by tiny reindeer.
On the receiving end of the emails, phone calls, mobile “NORAD Santa” applications, website trackers, Facebook followers, Tweets and other social media inquiries into Santa’s journey will stand a cadre of 1,250 volunteers to field children’s questions at the North American Aerospace Defense Command at Peterson Air Force Base in Colorado Springs, Colo. NORAD has conducted the Santa tracking program for 58 years, said Navy Lt. Cmdr. Bill Lewis, a NORAD spokesman.
If you’re interested, you can track Santa’s journey HERE.