Category Archives: People I Hate

The Halfwit Halfback

LeSean McCoy Rips Tebow

People ask me why I despise Philadelphia teams – with the exception of the Flyers and the Union. My answer is simple: Phillies fans are arrogant and obnoxious, and Eagles players are stone cold thugs. Take running back LeSean – if that is his real name – McCoy.

Philadelphia Eagles running back LeSean McCoy was recently approached by a TMZ reporter at Los Angeles International Airport. McCoy is not a controversial NFL figure, so it promised to be an uninteresting interview. When the first question thrown at McCoy was to ponder if Will Smith or Rocky Balboa was Philadelphia’s biggest star, it appeared the interview would be a catastrophe.

McCoy was later asked who were the best free agents remaining and Tebow’s name was thrown at him. That prompted a cynical look by McCoy.

“Tim Tebow?” McCoy said. “My son’s two. I’ll take my son over Tim Tebow.”

Hmm, strong words from a man who has never won an NFL playoff game, two national titles, or a Heisman Trophy. But whatevs. At least McCoy is a man of strong moral fiber. Or not.

Don’t get me wrong; McCoy is a great player, and statements like these will ensure his employment for many years to come. You see, the NFL embraces everything Tim Tebow does not: drug abuse, domestic violence, and unbridled thuggery.

Yes LeSean, you are a talented player. You are not, however a talented human being.

People I Hate

Gywneth Paltrow Iron Man 3People I Hate was a regular Friday segment in the early days of SYLG. It gave me a chance to unleash the bile-fueled snark which built up during the previous week. It helped me unwind before a weekend.

After reading this story, I had to resurrect PIH. Thanks, Gwyneth!

Gwyneth Paltrow does herself no favors. In an interview with E! prior to announcing her split from husband Chris Martin, she lamented the difficulty of being an actress and a mom.

“It’s much harder for me,” she said. “I feel like I set it up in a way that makes it difficult because … for me, like if I miss a school run, they are like, ‘Where were you?’ I don’t like to be the lead so I don’t work every day, you know, I have little things that I like and obviously I want it to be good and challenging and interesting, and be with good people and that kind of thing.”

Here’s where things get good:

“I think it’s different when you have an office job, because it’s routine and, you know, you can do all the stuff in the morning and then you come home in the evening,” said the polarizing Paltrow. “When you’re shooting a movie, they’re like, ‘We need you to go to Wisconsin for two weeks,’ and then you work 14 hours a day and that part of it is very difficult. I think to have a regular job and be a mom is not as, of course there are challenges, but it’s not like being on set.”

Wow, is it physically possible to be more tone deaf than this bint? Hey Gwyneth, if I were to rate your overall acting ability, I’d give you a C-word.

Attention Whore Runs For CA Senate

Angry Sandra FlukeSandra Fluke has decided not to run for Congress. Instead, the walking IUD will run for the California State Senate.

Sandra Fluke, the contraception activist who shot from obscurity to the national spotlight in 2012 when she argued that her Catholic law school should be required to provide birth control to female students for free, said Wednesday that she’s decided not to run for Congress in California.

The newly minted ‘social justice attorney’ was one of three Democrats who had petitioned the California Democratic Party for its endorsement in the 33rd District election set for nine months from now.

Fluke will run instead for a state Senate seat held by Democrat Ted Lieu, who is running for Waxman’s seat.

This country was damaged irreparably after the 2008 Presidential election, because Americans elected a professional student who never held a real job and had no experience. New Obamas are popping up every day – Sandra Fluke, Clay Aiken – and they think they are entitled to powerful positions because they enjoyed fifteen minutes of fame.

Fluke will win Waxman’s seat, largely because CA voters are morons. They deserve her.

Eater The Grate

Anthony Perrett Hippie

If you think American hippies are douchebags, wait til you get a load of this British prat.

A Greenpeace campaigner claims he was forced to live on bread and water while being held in a Russian prison because it didn’t offer a vegetarian alternative.

See, I could end this post right here and you would have everything you need to know about this jackass. The man – and I use that term loosely – was being held in a Russian prison and expected to see vegetarian delicacies on the menu.

But wait, there’s more…

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Thursday Is The New Black

black_fridayFor some inexplicable reason, hundreds of department stores opened on Thanksgiving. There is a special place in Hell for the people who go out on Black Friday – especially in the internet age – but shopping on Thanksgiving? Just. Stop.

The shopping frenzy of Black Friday is moving into Thanksgiving Day as more retail stores open their doors on the holiday this year. According to a National Retail Federation survey, 33 million people will hit the stores on Turkey Day. But the creep of consumerism has some calling for a boycott.

It’s all part of a natural progression as Black Friday openings moved earlier each year, according to University of North Florida Economist Paul Mason. He said the bottom line is companies see this as the best way to get more of your money.

Great, so these a-holes will soon be celebrating Black Tuesday. If you need me, I’ll be eating my gun.

Penn State University Goes Full Retard

Jerry Sandusky And Joe Paterno

Regular readers know I have no love for Penn State University. I think their football fans and graduates – not all, but many – are equal parts arrogant and ignorant. Their crap doesn’t stink, and they’re the best football program in the nation. Just ask them; they’ll tell you. Worse still, when confronted by uncomfortable realities – the Jerry Sandusky scandal – many of them doubled down on their perceived loyalty. Truth be told, most of these people aren’t very likable.

This new university policy won’t do them any favors.

POLICY:

LINKS TO PENN STATE PAGES:

Unless authorized by the Vice President for University Relations (who will consult with the University Licensing Committee on trademark issues when necessary), no company or organization may place a link on its site to any Penn State web page. Links from government and educational (e.g., other university) web pages are permitted.

LINKS FROM PENN STATE PAGES TO OTHER SITES:

It is the policy of the University to limit commercial links to those sites that have a direct connection to the functions of the University, and to prohibit commercial links that are unrelated to the operations of the University. (H/TAoSHQ)

So chloroform companies, slippery soap manufacturers, beer distributors, and law firms are good. Blogs? Not so much. One has to wonder if Penn State has a journalism school; and if this jives with their interpretation of the First Amendment?

The Earl Of Sandwich: Founder Of The KKK

Peanut Butter Jelly TimeWhile I may not be as big a flag waver as some people, but I love this country. I put my life on the line every day for, if not my country, at least my city. So when I see a group of people ruining America, it angers me.

And make no mistake; liberals are ruining America. Worse still, they’re succeeding:

Did you know that eating or even talking about a peanut butter and jelly sandwich could be considered racist? That’s right. Apparently, it’s because people in some cultures don’t eat sandwich bread. Verenice Gutierrez, principal of Harvey Scott K-8 School in Portland explained in and interview with the Portland Tribune:

“Take the peanut butter sandwich, a seemingly innocent example a teacher used in a lesson last school year,” the Tribune said.

“What about Somali or Hispanic students, who might not eat sandwiches?” Gutierrez asked. “Another way would be to say: ‘Americans eat peanut butter and jelly, do you have anything like that?’ Let them tell you. Maybe they eat torta. Or pita.”

You know, I don’t give a f**k about what Somali or Hispanic students eat. This is America; they can eat whatever the f**k they want. Because this is America, they can also think sandwiches are racist, and we don’t have to give a f**k what they think. What they should not be able to do is eliminate foods deemed racist by our “betters.”

Foods can’t be racist, you a**holes. Stop destroying my f**king country!

Up Next On ESPN, “Pardon The Racism”

Michael Wilbon RacistESPN has a lot of terrible programs. Among the worst is “Pardon the Interruption.” Its hosts are among the least likable in television, and for a station that employs Stephen A. Smith, that’s saying something.

The two uber-brains has a discussion about the N-word, and it played out exactly like you’d expect.

[Tony] Kornheiser asked [Michael] Wilbon about the public use of the racial slur. Wilbon, an African-American said, “People can be upset with me if they want, I, like a whole lot of people, use the N-word all day, every day, my whole life.”

Kornheiser suggested that NBA Comissioner David Stern, and his counterparts at the NFL and MLB, would have to prohibit players from using the word in public. Wilbon bristled and said, “I have a problem with… white people framing the discussion for the use of the N-word.” He also likened the commissioners to plantation owners dictating whether African-Americans could use a word that had been thrust upon them.

A commenter at the site said it better than I ever could: “And white people have a problem with black people framing the discussion for use of the N-word, as well. If it’s fine for one class to use it’s fine for another, for no class of people own a word or hold rights to a word exclusive to other classes.” – Aliswell

Amen.

Ding Dong The Douche Is Dead!

Bud Adams Dick

Greetings all, the not so good Doctor checking in here. As you may recall I have been busy lately job and apartment hunting, and new lovely lady in my life. It has made posting difficult. The bar I part time at actually has pool going on how long it takes me to screw it up. One person already out! So things are going well there. But this post isn’t about the lovely lady. This is about one of my mortal enemies no longer with us. So long Bud Adams!

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Utah Morons Get Their Rocks Off

Glenn And Dylan Taylor Goblin Valley State ParkThree Utah men will be receiving the Nobel Prize in Douchebaggery after toppling over a rock formation in Goblin Valley State Park. The formations are reportedly 20-million years old.

See? This is why I hate people.

A group of Boy Scout leaders could face felony charges after they filmed themselves destroying a 20-million-year-old rock formation in a Utah state park.

On the video, Dave Hall is heard commenting on how unsafe the rock in Goblin Valley State Park looks as he films his friend Glenn Taylor forcing it from its perch while Dylan Taylor stands by.

The footage, which the men posted to their Facebook pages, shows them then high-fiving, laughing and whooping with joy. The elder Taylor jokingly flexes his muscles, proud of his achievement.

In a just world, these three would be tied to a rock formation and attacked by rabid wolves before being stoned to death. In the real world, they’ll probably pay a small fine.