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It’s Official: God Hates Snooki

By Wyatt Earp | September 10, 2011

Well, that makes it unanimous.

Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi favors revealing and tight attire to anything prim and pretty, so it isn’t surprising that she’d wear her usual garb to church. However, one pious man wouldn’t let the hard-partying reality starlet get away with her clothing of choice.

On tonight’s episode of The Jersey Shore, the 23-year-old reveals that an Italian priest told her off for her tiny top and black mini-skirt.

‘The priest was like, Cover up when you come to my church. He basically just called me a whore,’ the pint-sized brunette complained.

Sources say Snooki would have confronted the priest, but she was too busy fellating a random gondola pilot.

Topics: People I Hate | 14 Comments »

14 Responses to “It’s Official: God Hates Snooki”

  1. RandyG Says:
    September 10th, 2011 at 8:41 am

    Only one random pilot? Slow day eh Snook?

  2. orbitup Says:
    September 10th, 2011 at 9:17 am

    @ RandyG – She only blows one at a time. What do you think she is, a whore??

  3. Randal Graves Says:
    September 10th, 2011 at 9:21 am

    “He basically just called me a whore” – SHOCKING!

  4. Loaded Dice in Vegas Says:
    September 10th, 2011 at 9:54 am

    The TRUTH should hurt…………….

  5. Wyatt Earp Says:
    September 10th, 2011 at 10:07 am

    RandyG – Well, she ws tired.

    Orbuitup – YES!

    Randal – Yeah, imagine that.

    LDIV – It does, especially since her “truth” is herpes.

  6. Jon Brooks Says:
    September 10th, 2011 at 10:43 am

    She is holey however.

  7. Ingineer66 Says:
    September 10th, 2011 at 11:03 am

    The priest told her to “cover up” and she heard “you are a whore”. I wonder why she would think that way? Apparently she knows she is a whore.

  8. Veeshir Says:
    September 10th, 2011 at 11:16 am

    That’s the cow you should have used for the previous post.

  9. Wyatt Earp Says:
    September 10th, 2011 at 11:29 am

    Jon – And those holes are usually filled.

    Ingineer66 – Well, it’s plain as the protein on her face.

    Veeshir – Yeah, but Snooki is funny . . . but not “Ha, ha” funny.

  10. Ferrell Gummitt Says:
    September 10th, 2011 at 6:25 pm

    Maybe her attire is appropriate at the Playboy Mansion but at church, it’s cover up time babe.

    Grow UP Lady!!! Please just grow up!!!!

  11. Watuschski Says:
    September 10th, 2011 at 7:29 pm

    A damned shame! My dearest sweetheart, Snooki, could sit beside me in church anytime.

  12. BlackOrchid Says:
    September 10th, 2011 at 8:35 pm

    It’s common knowledge that they take the proper dress code pretty seriously in Italian churches.

    The producers had to know that!

    And yes, she is a whore. And not Italian, I am quick to add. And not from New Jersey, altho I don’t really care that much about defending NJ, it’s really more to point out that these scum are from NY.

    NY Italians are . . . well. They’re different. Let’s just say that they aren’t often Tuscan.

  13. Wes S. Says:
    September 11th, 2011 at 12:56 am

    If we’re lucky, she’ll end up in the same cell with Amanda Knox. There’s a reality show for you…

  14. Wyatt Earp Says:
    September 11th, 2011 at 7:57 am

    Ferrell – I am convinced the booze and drugs have rendered her unable to distingusih from right and wrong. It’s all about her.

    Watuschski – Not too close. You don’t want to get hit by the lightning bolt.

    Orchid – There was a 20-something Italian couple sitting in front of us during the Yankees game. Girl spent three hours talking – loud enough for the whole section to hear – about her trip to Italy, and every single boring thing they did. On the train ride home, Kyle said, “Dad, that lady never shut up!”

    Wes S. – Sharing a cell with one knife. Two bimbos enter, one bimbo leaves.