So I’m working the front desk last night, and I get a call from a sergeant in a neighboring district. This sergeant is dumber than the average department supervisor, which means if you harnessed his brain capacity, you could probably toast some bread. Lightly. That theorem was proven yesterday.
Unfortunately, I answered Sergeant Dimwit’s call. He needed help looking up a PARS report in the computer. (A PARS report is an arrest report.) Dimwit gave me the report number and I looked it up. Turns out he was one number off. I gave him the correct number, and he asked me to stay on the line while he pulled up the report.
“I can’t find it,” he said. I replied, “Well, I’m looking at it right here, Sarge.”
So you know, searching for a PARS is so simple, a Democrat could do it.
“Well, I can’t find it. Look, just print it up for me, and I’ll send a police officer to your building, pick it up, and bring it back here.”
Words cannot adequately express how simple it is to search the PARS system. You type in the report number – or a name, if you have it – and it pops up faster than I do after seeing a photo of Christina Hendricks. It is inexplicable to me how a man can pass the sergeant’s test without knowing how to do this. It’s like saying, “I don’t know how to search Google.”
So this galactically stupid man took a police officer off the street, sent him miles away to my building to pick up a copy of a report, and bring it back to him. In effect, Sergeant Jerkass wasted 45 minutes on an task which should have taken two.