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Vince From ShamWow Likes The Ho-Oars

By Wyatt Earp | March 28, 2009

vinceOkay, it is time to play another fantastic round of “Which Is Funnier?” Today, our topic is Vince, the ShamWow Guy and his recent trouble with the law. Ready? Which Is Funnier?

1. Vince the ShamWow Guy has enough money to afford a $750 hotel room and a $1,000 call girl (otherwise knows as a Ho-Oar.)

2. Vince the ShamWow Guy assaulted said Ho-Oar after she bit his tongue.

3. Vince the ShamWow Guy’s real last name is “Shlomi.”

Make your selection now. Here’s the story:

MARCH 27–Meet Vince Shlomi. He’s probably better known to you as the ShamWow Guy, the ubiquitous television pitchman who has been phenomenally successful peddling absorbent towels and food choppers.

Shlomi, 44, was arrested last month on a felony battery charge following a violent confrontation with a prostitute in his South Beach hotel room. According to an arrest affidavit, Shlomi met Sasha Harris, 26, at a Miami Beach nightclub on February 7 and subsequently retired with her to his $750 room at the lavish Setai hotel.

Who knew the makers of ShamWow and the Slap Chop paid so well? I wonder if he was wearing that ridiculous headset microphone during the “date?”

Shlomi told cops he paid Harris about $1000 in cash after she “propositioned him for straight sex.” Shlomi said that when he kissed Harris, she suddenly “bit his tongue and would not let go.” Shlomi then punched Harris several times until she released his tongue.

In fairness, Harris was probably just trying to shut Vince up. Can any of us say we would do otherwise?

The affidavit, a copy of which you’ll find here, notes that during the 4 AM fight Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face (she is pictured here in mug shots snapped following busts in 2008 and 2005). After freeing his tongue, a bleeding Shlomi ran to the Setai lobby, where security summoned cops. Harris refused to cooperate with officers, who recovered $930 from her purse. “Both parties had a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from their persons,” police reported. (H/T - The Smoking Gun)

Way to go, Vince! I’m surprised he didn’t put Harris’ skull into the Slap Chop, though.


Hmm, for a whore, she’s kinda cute. And for some reason, she likes to smile in her mug shots.

Topics: Evil = Funny |

11 Responses to “Vince From ShamWow Likes The Ho-Oars”

  1. Code Monkey Says:
    March 28th, 2009 at 12:30 am

    I’m stuck trying to figure out what’s up with his shirt. Is it me or does it look like a hospital gown?

  2. Morgan Says:
    March 28th, 2009 at 2:27 am

    And for some reason, she likes to smile in her mug shots.

    Maybe she’s just used to the routine by now.

  3. dorkelina Says:
    March 28th, 2009 at 3:25 am

    She’s smiling because she gets paid $1000 for about 2 minutes of work.

  4. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    March 28th, 2009 at 6:35 am

    Sham-Pow! Right in the kisser.

  5. GroovyVic Says:
    March 28th, 2009 at 7:46 am

    That’s a Slap-Chop all right.

  6. USA_Admiral Says:
    March 28th, 2009 at 8:32 am

    “Are you getting this camera guy”?

    Talk about a hell of a way to blow 2000 dollars.

    “For the last time, Get that Shlomi out of my mouth”.

  7. Sully Says:
    March 28th, 2009 at 8:43 am

    This is almost as good as when Fabio was hit in the face by a goose.

    If he works again and has a lisp, we’ll know if she finished the job… Lorena Bobbit style.

  8. Gene Autry Says:
    March 28th, 2009 at 9:20 am

    Anyone notice that in the girl’s first mug shot her top is on inside out and backwards, then in the next shot she’s smiling and the top is on correctly?

  9. Diller Says:
    March 28th, 2009 at 10:34 am

    WOW! did’nt know ShamWow, wiped away STD’s ?

  10. MUD Says:
    March 28th, 2009 at 11:05 am

    Just goes to show you that you should never put your tongue in places you don’t think it should be. I thought for a grand you could put anything anywhere. Shows you what my experience has been. MUD

  11. Crankipants Says:
    March 28th, 2009 at 11:30 am

    I wonder how Sham-Wow® and the fine people of Sham-Wow® industries will ever get past the scandal. Their company and product have suffered an incalculable loss. The angry mobs picketing AIG will now focus their fury on Sham-Wow® provided they can find the warehouse in Jersey City that houses Sham-Wow® Industires.