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Plaxico Burress Suffers Gunshot Wound

By Wyatt Earp | November 30, 2008

There will not be a manhunt for the shooter because this idiot shot himself in the thigh. I guess it’s safe to say that if you have Burress in your fantasy football league, his status has been downgraded to “Probably Stupid.”

I swear to God, if he says he was “cleaning his gun . . . “

NEW YORK – New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress was wounded in an apparent accidental shooting on Friday and released from hospital on Saturday, the NFL team said.

Burress, who had already been ruled out of Sunday’s game against the Washington Redskins because of a hamstring strain, suffered a wound to his right thigh, the team said in a statement that did not reveal other details of the incident.

“We are aware of the fact that Plaxico was involved in an apparent accidental shooting last night,” the Giants said. “Plaxico suffered a wound to his right thigh. (H/T – )

Aaannnddd . . . dumbass!

This is the apex of an almost perfect season for the Giants receiver. He’s been suspended for missing team meetings, fined $45,000 for abusing officials, and was benched for missing a physician’s appointment. Now, he shoots himself in the thigh. Congratulations Plaxico, you’re this year’s MVP – Most Valuable Putz.

Topics: Evil = Funny | 8 Comments »

8 Responses to “Plaxico Burress Suffers Gunshot Wound”

  1. Maggie Mama Says:
    November 30th, 2008 at 9:02 am

    He’s trying to become the Darryl Strawberry of New York football … drug charges will no doubt start coming out.

    Who takes an illegal gun to a nightclub in a city that has a one-year felony law? He had to be snorting!

  2. Jason Says:
    November 30th, 2008 at 9:21 am

    NY/NJ gun laws prevent people like me from protecting my family. The laws do nothing to prevent armed thugs from moving about freely.

    The whole notion that a gun is “illegal” boggles my mind. We keep making up MORE gun laws and crime continues. This is the definition of insanity.

    This man broke the law, yet he won’t see a day of jail time.

  3. Glocksman Says:
    November 30th, 2008 at 11:02 am

    Heh..looks as if the Steelers got the better part of the deal when he left Pittsburgh for the Giants.

  4. Monica Says:
    November 30th, 2008 at 11:35 am

    I keep telling people I could throw my gun against a wall all day long and it won’t “go off,” but it’s impossible to believe when stories like this are routinely misreported.

  5. Ky Person Says:
    November 30th, 2008 at 11:35 am

    What a double dumbass. It just goes to show how effective gun laws are though. I’m sure Plaxico will get the celebrity sentence (wrist slap).

    And we have Michael Vick’s return to look forward to.

    I think I’ll quit following sports entirely.

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    November 30th, 2008 at 8:17 pm

    Maggie Mama – He definitely isn’t using his brain. Dope.

    Jason – No he won’t. He might receive a small fine. That’s it.

    Glocksman – Absolutely. Figures he’s a Michigan State alum. Heh.

    Monica – “I was just walking down the street and the gun fired!” People actually believe that tripe.

    Ky person – No, just quit following the NFL and the NBA. Hell, start following hockey. The Preds aren’t too bad this year.

  7. Ryan Says:
    December 1st, 2008 at 6:04 pm

    Ok, as the semi-resident Giants fan, I suppose I should have something to say about this. Doubly so, since Dumbass is from Virginia Beach and I happen to live there.

    Plaxico has been having a good year, but not a great one and Eli has been going to other receivers and running the ball quite a bit, proving that Big Blue can and will win despite not playing his hamstrung, suspended, non-practicing and now gunshot ass.

    We won against the ‘Skins yesterday without him, though he wouldn’t have played anyway, and will continue to win the rest of the season without him.

    My question for the Eagles fans is, how long after their season is over will it take before Andy gets fired for being a moron?

  8. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 1st, 2008 at 6:08 pm

    Ryan – Personally, I hope Andy is fired before then . . . and I am not an Eagles fan.