By Wyatt Earp | November 30, 2008
“It ain’t cool being no jive turkey this close to Thanksgiving.” – Even Bigger Black Guy, Trading Places
Aren’t the holidays grand? The family gets together, has a delicious meal, and tries not to stab each other when fighting for the last turkey leg. Turkeys were not just limited to dinner tables this week, however. We have plenty of other turkeys in high-profile positions across the globe. These knuckleheads were my inspiration for this week’s Family Security Matters article. Here’s a sample:
Well, another Thanksgiving has come and gone in this greatest country on earth, and America is none the worse for wear. Okay, everyone may be a little chunkier, but it’s not the end of the world – and those candied yams were out of this world! Now that the football games are over and the tryptophan has thrown Uncle Al into a short coma, it is as good a time as any to remember what you are thankful for.
Now before everyone says they are thankful for satellite television and the McDonald’s McRib sandwich, it should be noted that there are more deserving targets of appreciation. Whether it is your religious deity, your family, or your friends, every person has someone or something for which they are thankful. Still others are thankful for those in the news whose actions make us all feel better about ourselves. For instance:
If there were ever a turkey that did not deserve a Sarah Palin pardon, it is Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez. This knucklehead is tooting his foghorn this week because the Russian navy dropped anchor in his communist paradise. The two countries will participate in joint exercises in the Caribbean, which should make for must-see TV. Venezuela’s “navy” consists of a dozen shrimp boats, five canoes, and a wooden raft. The Russians are a bit more nautically savvy, but their technology lacks panache. Heck, their sonar system is nothing more than a glass held to the hull. “Look Comrades, I can hear the ocean!”
The American State Department does not appear to be concerned with this mutual admiration society. Nor should they be. If they had a dollar every time Hugo Chavez had one of his “bright ideas,” the dollar would actually be valuable again.
You can read the rest of the (possibly) funny HERE.