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People I Hate

By Wyatt Earp | March 29, 2007

All of my blog friends are quitting, Philly police officers are getting locked up left and right, and yesterday, my lacrosse team lost 21-2. Suffice to say, we’re not getting an edition of People I Like this week, for today I am full of bile . . . and Twinkies.

John Edwards

When Edwards announced that his wife’s cancer had returned, I didn’t want to be one of “those” people who speculated that the announcement was intended to help him in the polls. Personally, I feel bad for Elizabeth Edwards, and if I was in their situation, I would jump off the campaign trail. Having said that, I refuse to crucify the Edwards’ decision, as it is theirs to make.

Then today, John Edwards talks to the AP about the death of his son 11 years ago:

WASHINGTON – As he tries to explain how he’ll cope with the return of his wife’s cancer, presidential hopeful John Edwards is opening up about another family struggle — the death of his teenage son Wade 11 years ago. (H/T – )

Okay, now I am one of “those” people. The Elizabeth Edwards story (like the Tony Snow story) was pertinent and timely. The story about Wade Edwards, who died ELEVEN YEARS AGO, is neither. I hate to sound like a cynic – because you never find cynicism here at SYLG – but in my opinion, Edwards is playing the sympathy card for all it’s worth. And I think that’s despicable.

Donald Trump

Can we just stop with “The Donald?” Is anyone as sick of seeing this shameless self-promoter as much as I am? (That’s ironic, because who promotes themselves more than me?) Last week, he stated that George W. Bush was the worst President in American history. How can someone who sells himself as a genius know so little about the history of this country? Donny, when you get a chance, look up Andrew Johnson, Millard Fillmore, Rutherford B. Hayes, and Jimmy Carter, will ya?

As if this weren’t bad enough, Trump is betting his awesome ‘do at this weekend’s Wrestlemania. If his wrestler wins, WWE owner Vince McMahon gets his head shaved. If not, The Donald’s brutal coif goes bye-bye. I would be fairly excited about this, except that everyone in America knows this is a set-up. Trump would never agree to this if there were actually a chance that he’d walk away bald . . . like Denny. Heh. Maybe instead of betting his hair, he should bet his big mouth. If he loses, he gets his jaw wired shut.

Great Britain

I hate to stomp on the Brits when they are down, but recently their grapes have shrunk to Fmragtops size – puny raisins. Heh. Maybe I’m missing something, but when a country kidnaps fifteen members of your armed forces and transfers them to said capital, the best response usually consists of Harriers and/or Tomahawks.

But not for the Brits. No, the Brits are crying foul in the Parliament, but doing little else. No threat of force. No verbal beyotch slaps. Nothing. And, once again, Iran gets away with murder (figuratively, so far). If I am Iran’s President Tom, I would be dancing in the streets. I just got away with kidnapping British soldiers, and the West is too busy hand-wringing to do anything about it. And this without nuclear weapons. When we get those, Iran will be unstoppable.

Someone needs to slap Iran with a rolled up newspaper before things really get out of control. I nominate Israel.

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