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Escape . . . From Reality And Good Sense

By Wyatt Earp | March 30, 2007

For those of you who haven’t noticed – like you Villanova grads out there – I have added a dynamic new banner to SYLG. Sure, there has been a lot of Snake Plissken around here recently, and there’s a reason for that. To wit:

There are certain things in this world that should never be messed with. For example, one should never bother Rosie O’Donnell while she is eating pork chops stuffed with Ring Dings from her trough. The same holds true in the film industry. There are certain films that have stood the test of time, and should be impermeable to remakes.

Sadly, the Hollywood geniuses have forgotten this axiom. Plans are currently in the works for a remake of Escape from New York.

My first reaction to this announcement was, “Are you frakkin’ kidding me?” Then, I composed myself, had a Fresca, reflected upon it for a moment, and said, “ARE YOU FRAKKIN’ KIDDING ME???” Let’s dissect this decision in the manner in which it was intended.

1. Great films don’t need to be “remade.” That’s why they are considered great films. Escape from New York is a classic; a film that can be viewed over and over again, while never losing its luster. Casino Royale needed to be remade. Why? Because the original blew goats!

2. Escape from New York had a terrific cast: Kurt Russell, Isaac Hayes, Ernest Borgnine, I mean, come on! The remake is slated to star Gerard Butler, who played Leonidis in 300which I will rave about soon enough – but even this great piece of casting shouldn’t justify a remake.

3. Finally, if the decision for a remake is final, at least honor the original. The last thing anyone wants to see is a terrible remake like The Punisher, where the remake was worse than the original.

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