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Cop Land

Archive for September, 2010

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Philly Cop Allegedly Found Card-Counting

Thursday, September 30th, 2010

There is a strange karma in the Philadelphia Police Department. Almost immediately after an officer does a fantastic job – like this one – there is another officer who embarrasses the rest of us. Take this officer, for example. A 32-year veteran of the force, he was allegedly found with a card-counting device inside the [...]

Obama’s DOJ: Justice For All?

Thursday, September 30th, 2010

Well yes, unless the offending party is African-American. I completely missed this story from last week because I was preoccupied with Stephen Colbert’s idiotic “testimony” on Capitol Hill – conveniently scheduled during Christopher Coates’ testimony of the New Black Panther Party intimidation case. He confirmed a lot of what we already knew. Namely, the Obama [...]

Supermodels: As Dumb As You Think

Thursday, September 30th, 2010

Imagine you are a model trying to land your big break. You compete in a reality show to get some much needed exposure. After the swimsuit competition, the talent contest, and the breast-taping venue, it comes down to you and one other babe. Then, you are announced as the winner. Just as you are making [...]

Humpday History Highlight

Wednesday, September 29th, 2010

September 29, 1780 – British Spy Sentenced To Death British Major John André, an accomplice of Benedict Arnold, had been captured by Patriots six days earlier on September 23, after they found incriminating papers stashed in his boot. It was the discovery of these papers that revealed the traitorous actions of Benedict Arnold to the [...]

Thieves Burglarize Soldier’s Angels Center

Wednesday, September 29th, 2010

A few pieces of filth broke into the San Antonio Soldier’s Angels Support Center, vandalizing the exhibits and stealing televisions and laptop computers. There is a reason that this is the first criminal act committed against Soldier’s Angels. It’s because even the lowest form of life wouldn’t dare burglarize an organization that gives care, comfort, [...]

Canada Braces For A Ho-Down

Wednesday, September 29th, 2010

In Canada, pimpin’ ain’t easy; but it’ll be less difficult for the next month or so. A Toronto judge has struck down Canada’s prostitution laws, effectively decriminalizing activities associated with the world’s oldest trade. “These laws, individually and together, force prostitutes to choose between their liberty interest and their right to security of the person [...]

Philly Officer Shoots Knife-Wielding Man

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

Despite the fact that I make light of the idiocy of this city’s criminals, Philadelphia is still a violent place. The judicial system doesn’t make our jobs any easier with their light prison sentences, and the department tries its best to handcuff us when it comes to use of force. That being said, it is [...]

Vote Naked Illinois!

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

An Illinois group wants to combat voter apathy by encouraging members to vote naked. In Chicago, attractive people are asked to vote early and often. Ugly people like me? We don’t get a vote. Anything that can be done naked is worth doing. Voting included. Just ask the folks behind the advocacy group, Vote Naked [...]

More Celebrities Are Carrying Firearms

Tuesday, September 28th, 2010

Well, it took long enough, but some Hollywood celebrities are finally coming forward and embracing the Second Amendment. Apparently they got an injection of common sense and realized that self-preservation was in their best interests. Good for them. Now that they have jumped aboard the gunpowder train, maybe they will stop lecturing the rest of [...]

You Can’t Spell Raygun Without “UN”

Monday, September 27th, 2010

Just when you thought the United Nations couldn’t be more useless: Mazlan Othman, a Malaysian astrophysicist, is set to be tasked with co-ordinating humanity’s response if and when extraterrestrials make contact. Aliens who landed on earth and asked: “Take me to your leader” would be directed to Mrs Othman. She will set out the details [...]

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