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Socialite Caught With 500 Pounds Of Pot

By Wyatt Earp | June 17, 2010

Meet Lisette Lee. She calls herself a “California socialite,” which is a fancy way of saying she wastes other people’s oxygen while sponging off her parents’ hard work. Oh well, I guess that phrase is better than the truth, because the the truth is that she is a vapid, empty-headed bimbo that just happened to be carrying 500 pounds of marijuana on her private jet!

Excellent job there, slapnuts. I’m sure your parents are very proud. What excuse could you possibly give to the DEA when they find the weed on your personal aircraft?

“Uh, honestly officer, it’s not mine!” Idiot.

Drug Enforcement Administration agents picked up Lisette Lee, 28, at Port Columbus on Monday night after she arrived on a chartered jet from Van Nuys, Calif., with a bodyguard, two assistants and 13 large suitcases.

Inside the suitcases, agents found 506 pounds of marijuana, according to a DEA complaint. The DEA estimated the street value of the drugs to be $500,000.

Lee told the agents that she is a model and a recording artist and was bringing equipment and belongings to a boyfriend who had bought a horse farm in Ohio, the complaint says. She, however, couldn’t provide the boyfriend’s last name.

If I had a dollar every time I heard that line I could quit the department. Apparently, every criminal has a boyfriend or a girlfriend but they don’t know their last names. Sometimes, they don’t know their first names, either:

“My boyfriend? I don’t know his name. He just goes by ‘Boo.’”

Nice to see that Ms. Lee is following the party line. It’ll serve her well in prison.

Topics: The Job | 23 Comments »

23 Responses to “Socialite Caught With 500 Pounds Of Pot”

  1. JT Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 1:53 pm

    Boo who ?

  2. DirtyBlueshirt Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    Looks like someone thought that Weeds was a documentary.

    Gross stupidity should be a capital offence.

  3. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 2:26 pm

    She should have told the DEA agents that there was makeup in the suitcases.

  4. Ferrell Gummitt Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 2:29 pm

    Maybe the parents will try and hawk it as a Reality TV Show pilot.

    I can picture the title now “Help, I’m a Bimbo Socialite Drug Smuggler.”

  5. Lergnom Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    I thought the accepted phrase was ‘Dis ain’t my coat’.
    Or am I hopelessly behind the times?

  6. John D Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    She’s from California, maybe she had a prescription. Is marijuana a medically excepted treatment for stupid?

  7. metoo Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 3:04 pm

    She looks like she has been rode hard and put away wet.

  8. Dixie Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 3:36 pm

    506 pounds of dope? Private jet? Horse farm? Sounds like Auric is in a new line of business these days…

  9. C/A Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 4:22 pm

    Can’t wait till the feds seize the jet…HOO BOY!

    Plus I’d hit it…. I’m just saying.

  10. Ingineer66 Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 4:53 pm

    She is from California so only 506 pounds is for personal use and therefore legal here.

  11. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 5:28 pm

    She’s lucky they didn’t (or did they?) seize the jet.. I’m sure mommy and daddy will appreciate that one..

  12. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 5:30 pm

    heh… woops, C/A already said it. …and yeah, I’d would too. :-D

  13. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 5:34 pm

    Lergnom – it’s:

    “well… dey SAY I shot dat man.. but dats what dey say.. I dunno nuttin bout dat.”

    “dis ain’t my crack, dees ain’t my pants, dat ain’t my car, I’ma just borrowin from a friend. what’s his name? oh uhh..”

  14. Rides A Pale Horse Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    C/A, you must be REALLY hard up. I (along with many others) wouldn’t “hit that” with Rosie O’Porkers dick.

    We’re all looking forward to hearing how yours fell off after “hitting” something like that……..:)

  15. Jon Brooks Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 7:27 pm

    “Me soo hiiiii. Me do Boo-Boo..Long time.”

  16. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 9:04 pm

    JT – Heh, nicely played.

    DBS – At least enough for forced sterilization.

    Mrs. Crankipants – I don’t think 13 bags would be enough.

    Ferrell – And she’s supplying fabulous Columbus, Ohio!

    Lergnom – It’s a catch all. “This ain’t my . . . ”

    John D – And as stupid as she is, she needed 500 pounds of it.

    MeToo – Hey, I wasn’t anywhere near her!

    Dixie – “Goldfinger . . . wah, wah wahhhhh.”

    Captain – She’s a felon, so hit it hard.

    Ingineer66 – Oh, that state is teh awesome!

    Smite – Great, my readers are horn dogs. And yes, I’d hit her, too.

    RAPH – In fairness, it would be a tiny loss. Kakow!

    Jon – Cue Nancy Sinatra.

  17. Dixie Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 10:23 pm

    Dixie – “Goldfinger . . . wah, wah wahhhhh.”

    Speaking of which, I’d find it hillarious if this girl’s name was Ms. Galore.

  18. Crusty Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 11:17 pm

    Looks like Snooki (Jersy’s only socialite) with her hair down

  19. Bob G. Says:
    June 18th, 2010 at 10:46 am

    My God…this tart actually makes Paris Hilton look SOMEWHAT responsible as a human being, mind you)…
    I DID say “somewhat”.

    And don’cha love people who don’t KNOW the name of their S/O?

    Or don’t bother with ID?

    Or “saw the whole thing”, but don’t have ANY idea who was involved.
    Yeah, THAT kind of “selective memory”.

    Stay safe.

  20. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 18th, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    Dixie – “I must be dreaming.”

    Crusty – Don’t worry, that whore will find herself in jail soon enough.

    Bob G – It would be nice if her parents “unremembered” her when the subject of bail came up.

  21. BobG Says:
    June 18th, 2010 at 5:54 pm

    “But officer, it’s not mine–I’m just holding it for a friend…”

  22. Dixie Says:
    June 18th, 2010 at 11:36 pm

    Dixie – “I must be dreaming.”

    Her: “Do you expect me to talk, Boo?”

    Him: “No, I expect you to LIE!”

  23. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 19th, 2010 at 10:20 am

    BobG – “His name is Bob Marley.”

    Dixie – Heh, nice one.