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Harrison’s Stomach: Built Ford Tough

By Wyatt Earp | June 17, 2010

You’d have to be tough to marry a delightful little exoskeleton like Calista Flockhart, right? *shudder*

TMZ has learned Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart were married yesterday and Governor Bill Richardson of New Mexico performed the ceremony. We’re told the couple was married in the Governor’s mansion in Santa Fe. Their marriage license was filed today in the County Clerk’s Office.

Harrison and Calista have been together for almost 8 years, and got engaged over Valentine’s weekend in 2009.

Good Lord, Harrison, you’re a huge movie star! Why couldn’t you marry someone like this . . .

Mmm . . . Diane Kruger!

Topics: Snarkasm | 15 Comments »

15 Responses to “Harrison’s Stomach: Built Ford Tough”

  1. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 8:08 am

    I recently read a tabloid interview where they discussed their sex life. He makes her wear a gold Princess Leia bikini, and she makes him dress like a sandwich.

  2. RogerDee Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 8:50 am

    Go Mrs. Crankipants!!!

  3. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 8:55 am

    Mrs. Crankipants – Okay, that’s damned funny.

    Roger – Strangely enough, Mrs. Crankipants wears a Leia bikini to work.

  4. Sully Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 9:07 am

    I hear he got a paper cut when he kissed the bride.

  5. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 9:11 am

    Sully – She fell through a crack in the hardwood floor.

  6. John D Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 9:32 am

    I heard that in lieu of wedding cake, they had Quaker rice cakes with fat free plain yogurt as frosting.

  7. Ferrell Gummitt Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 9:51 am

    I lost all respect for Harrison Ford when he signed the petition to free the fugitive pedophile, Roman Polanski.

    As for the celery stick, I used to work with a guy who had Calista Flockhart on his desktop in boxing gloves, probably from an Ally McBeal episode. Every time she is mentioned I get the flashback of a celery stick with blonde hair wearing boxing gloves.

  8. metoo Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 9:56 am

    She makes me want to scream “for Pete’s sake…eat a sandwich!” There’s no accounting for bad taste.

  9. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 10:18 am

    John D – They skipped the yogurt. It looks fattening.

    Ferrell – Chick looks like someone from the Feed the Children commercials.

    MeToo – I wonder what she would do if Ford stuffed a piece of wedding cake in her mouth?

  10. ajdshootist Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 2:39 pm

    Must be like making love to a skeleton!

  11. Fenway_Nation Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 3:18 pm

    Mmm….when I see Dianne, I always feel a bit Kruger-randy!

  12. RT Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 6:21 pm

    My cousin was in her class in high school. Not much personality.

  13. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 17th, 2010 at 9:07 pm

    ajdshootist – You can probably hear her bones rattle.

    Fenway – As do I. Shes yummy.

    RT – I don’t doubt it.

  14. Rick Says:
    June 18th, 2010 at 3:02 pm

    That womans face would make a freight train take a dirt road on a rainy night.

  15. Rides A Pale Horse Says:
    June 18th, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    *Waiting for C/A “I’d hit that” comment…… 3……2……..1