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Archive for August, 2009

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Vacation, All Obama Wanted

Saturday, August 29th, 2009

President Obama is enjoying a hard-earned vacation in Martha’s Vineyard this week, exposing his 8-minute abs and showing off his clamming skills. Naturally, while he is enjoying fun in the sun, the economy is going down the toilet, senators are kicking the bucket, and House has still not been canceled. Suffice to say, when Obama [...]

Bill Could Give POTUS Control Of Internet

Saturday, August 29th, 2009

While Al Gore apparently “invented” the Internet, President Barack Obama may soon be able to police it. And I, for one, welcome our new political overlords, and remind them that as a trusted member of the blogosphere, I can be helpful in gathering the proletariat to work in his massive server rooms. Internet companies and [...]

Weekend Caption Contest

Friday, August 28th, 2009

She’s A Paintball Wizard Caption Contest (Source: Break.com) Submit your original caption for this photo in the comments section, or e-mail me your photoshop entries. The winners will be announced on Monday, August 31. Good luck! Photoshop Entries: Other Current Contests: Blonde Sagacity Cowboy Blob Family Security Matters Rodney Dill RT (I WON here last [...]

Man Arrested For Smuggling Marbles

Friday, August 28th, 2009

Remind me to never ride my bike in Florida. Apparently, they have some serious restrictions on male thongs. Personally, I like cycling in Philly. No one cares what I wear when I do it, and that’s good when I need a little “air” down there. What? I’m just sayin’. TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — A 55-year-old man [...]

10 Hottest Female Athletes

Friday, August 28th, 2009

FOXNews has a lame slideshow of the alleged top 10 hottest female athletes. After poring over this list, I can confirm its lame-osity. Venus and Serena Williams? Amanda beard and Steffi Graf? Please guys, stop smoking the crack. Of course, they did pick a few winners, like Anna Kournikova and Maria Sharapova (above), but the [...]

Uber-Corrupt NM Governor Cleared

Friday, August 28th, 2009

Shocka! This is pretty despicable, considering Bill Richardson almost immediately withdrew his nomination to be Obama’s commerce secretary. Innocent people don’t fold so quickly. At least, that’s my opinion. Michelle Malkin has all of the HopeyChangeness: Well, well, well. Another Obama ally off the hook. Last month, it was Chris Dodd who escaped accountability for [...]

Lindsay Lohan’s Home Burglarized

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

Operator, give me the number to 9-1-1! LOS ANGELES – Police are looking for three suspects in the burglary of Lindsay Lohan’s home. The Los Angeles Police Department has released surveillance camera footage of the Sunday break-in at the “Mean Girls” star’s house. The footage shows three people, whose faces are covered with scarves, walking [...]

Beach Blanket Bingo

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

I just realized that I told most of my stories about our week in Sea Isle without really mentioning the kids. The least I could do was post some photos, like the one of the diva above. We needed a current posed picture of Julia and the missus thought a session on the beach would [...]

CBO: 2.3 Million More Unemployed In 2010

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

Okay, I know what you’re thinking: “Ooh, cheeseburgers would be good for lunch!” That would be correct, but what you should be thinking is, “Um, when is Obamonomics going to start helping people, instead of kicking them in the teeth?” The answer to that question is not readily available, since all of our statisticians have [...]

You Light Up My Life

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

Okay, before we start, I should probably issue some kind of warning to my readers – especially to first-time visitors. After 15 years as a police officer and detective, I have developed a really dark sense of humor. Some stories, while tragic, often strike me as funny. This may annoy or upset you, but there [...]

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