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Quit Stalin And Vote For Joe!

By Wyatt Earp | December 28, 2008

<i>Now that was a great mustache!</i>

Now that was a great mustache!

Break out the duct tape, folks! Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin is in the running for Russia’s greatest-ever countryman - a poll conducted by and for fellow Russians.

A nationwide Russian poll seeking to name the greatest-ever countryman is set to end Sunday, and former Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin is in the running for No. 1, the BBC reported.

More than 3.5 million people have voted so far, and Stalin, a bloodthirsty tyrant who killed millions of his own people, is riding high on the list.

Now, before everyone suffers a brain aneurysm, I think I know why he is rated so highly. Stalin - while a murderous douchebag - did two very important things. First, he beat back Hitler and the Nazis during World War II - an impressive feat to say the least. Second, he turned the Soviet Union from a backwoods, hick country into a true superpower. The ends surely did not justify the means, but Russians will forgive a lot. Hell, look who else is high in the rankings:

Some others in the top 12 are Ivan the Terrible, Lenin, Catherine the Great and poet Alexander Pushkin.

Ivan the Terrible was almost as bad as Stalin, but he brought the country out of the dark ages . . . before he tortured and killed his own people.

The St. Petersburg branch of the party in July asked the Orthodox Church to canonize Stalin if he wins the poll.

Okay, that is pretty frakked up. Winning some stupid poll is one thing. Being canonized is entirely another, especially since the Romanov family - who was murdered by Lenin, Stalin and their lackeys - was also canonized in 1981.

The broader campaign to revive Stalin as a “hero” appears to be coming from the highest levels of government.

A new manual has been given to history teachers in Russia’s schools, which says Stalin acted “entirely rationally,” the BBC reported.

“[The initiative] came from the very top,” says the editor of the manual, historian Alexander Danilov. “I believe it was the idea of former president, now prime minister, Vladimir Putin.” (H/T - FOXNews)

Shocka! Putin is carrying the water for the late Dear Leader. Go figure. The KGB agent never really retires, does he? The damned shame of it is that either Peter the Great or Catherine the Great should easily win this poll.

They won’t, though. It’ll be Stalin . . . guaranteed.

Topics: WTF? |

3 Responses to “Quit Stalin And Vote For Joe!”

  1. RT Says:
    December 29th, 2008 at 8:01 am

    Hey, I wanna vote for Kruschev!

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 29th, 2008 at 1:02 pm

    RT - I like how Stalin AND Lenin are near the top. Peter the Great and Ivan III - the man who united the Russian lands? Not so much.

  3. RT Says:
    December 29th, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    Russia seems to have abused-wife syndrome.