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Australia Looks To Ban Topless Sunbathing

By Wyatt Earp | December 31, 2008

Note to President Bush: Cut off diplomatic relations with Australia right now!

CANBERRA – Sun-loving Australians reacted angrily on Tuesday to a mid-summer bid by a conservative Christian lawmaker to ban topless sunbathing on beaches in the country’s most populous state.

Sons of bitches!

Christian lawmaker and veteran morals campaigner Reverend Fred Nile won backing from key politicians in New South Wales state, counting Sydney and its famed ocean beaches, to tighten existing laws covering nude sunbathing.

“The law should be clear. It must say exposure of women’s breasts on beaches will be prohibited,” Nile said.

Would it be wrong of me to wish the West Nile Virus on Reverend Nile? Just askin’.

Centre-left state government lawmaker Paul Gibson told the Daily Telegraph newspaper that families at the beach during the summer holidays did not want topless women.

Well, that’s a family I don’t want to be a part of. Heh.

But scores of callers to radio talkback stations complained about the plan and Leanne Peters from the ACT Nudist Club in the capital Canberra said Australia would look like a “haven for prudes” in the unlikely event that laws passed parliament. (H/T - )

Haven for prudes? I thought that was Utah? Kidding, kidding! Like anyone wants to pass up the opportunity to see Aussie native Holly Valance sans clothes?


I’d like to see her strip on the barbie!

Topics: Babes |

5 Responses to “Australia Looks To Ban Topless Sunbathing”

  1. Mario Mirarchi Says:
    December 31st, 2008 at 12:08 am

    Knowing my Aussie friends, I can guarantee this idea won’t go far. Holly Valance is related to Benny Hill.

  2. Alan B Says:
    December 31st, 2008 at 5:41 am

    Elsewhere it has been suggested that the move has been proposed to prevent offense to Muslims.

    Personally, I am none to keen on public nudity - very few people actually look good naked. There may be exceptions and the Marshall seems to find some good candidates. However, even then the hiding is a large part of the appeal.

    The reality is that there are many people of faith and no faith who find it objectionable so why not set aside beaches where it is allowed and then warn others of the fact. If they then go onto those beaches and are offended, tell them to get lost!

  3. Dorkelina Says:
    December 31st, 2008 at 9:37 am

    I say take a page from Boringsville, ummm, Toronto: If men are permitted to be topless, women should be as well. If it’s ok for a man with hairy, droopy tits to display them proudly atop his beer-gut, no woman should have to endure irate eyerolling jerks anytime she nurses her baby or wants to get a little sun on the sweater puppies. They’re just boobies, people.

    I really never had an impression of Australia as land of the prudish, but it just goes to show, there are whiny uptight loudmouths no matter where you go. Should send them all to Antarctica, where no one risks exposing their skin not just because it’s “offensive” but because it’s dangerous. Heck, if they don’t like the nude penguins, they could always try the Moon. If they can get past the obvious “ass” reference.

    (Had to get you back for that “ass” crack you made in my comments. Hah. Ass crack.)

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 31st, 2008 at 11:53 am

    Mario - Why am I picturing myself slapped her in the back of the head now? :)

    Alan - I could live with that, Let them know first, and they can make their decisions. As far as offending Muslims . . . what doesn’t offend them???

    Dorkelina - Heh, heh. I was wondering when you’d see that one. Of course, I am still staring at the “wants to get a little sun on the sweater puppies. They’re just boobies, people” lines. Mmm . . . Panda Puppies!

  5. alexb Says:
    December 31st, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    Hi, first time here.

    I live in Toronto Ontario where it is law that women can go topless anywhere they want.

    No one does, however, apart from the beaches.