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Archive for June, 2005

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Below-Average Joe

Tuesday, June 21st, 2005

Delaware Senator Joseph Biden (D-Del.) has announced his plans to run for President in 2008. Biden said, in his own words, that Americans should “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” He also declared Sunday, June 19th, 2005 (the day of his announcement) was “A [...]


Tuesday, June 21st, 2005

Let’s give a shout out to The Great Unwashed. The Biotechnology Industry Organization (BIO) 2005 Convention is currently underway in Philadelphia, and today appears to be D-Day for protestors, “activists,” and any other unemployed, long-hair, tree-hugging, hippie scumbags who have nothing better to do than travel the country in their Ed Begley-inspired electric cars, searching [...]

"Come With Me If You Want To Live"

Tuesday, June 21st, 2005

I doubt that the premise from The Terminator will ever come to fruition. Why? Because computers (and especially e-mail servers) suck rocks. I was working in the Operations Room last night and decided to write today’s post on the computer there. I cut and pasted it into an e-mail, which I forwarded home. My shift [...]

We Got Him!

Monday, June 20th, 2005

Sort of. File this non-story under the heading of “Idiotic Statements by Government Officials.” In an interview for TIME Magazine, CIA Director Porter Goss (Porter?) says he has an idea where Osama bin Laden is hiding. Lookee, lookee: Asked whether that meant he knew where bin Laden is, Goss responded: “I have an excellent idea [...]

Bring On The Juggys!

Saturday, June 18th, 2005

For those of you not familiar with my work – although SYLG is a new blog, I also had a critically-acclaimed success with “Middie Back!” – I am a red-blooded American geek. Like most geeks, I love movies, especially if they involve comic books and/or superheroes. For the most part I have been satisfied with [...]

Uncle Skank

Friday, June 17th, 2005

Sorry about the lateness of today’s post, but I’ve been busier than Paris Hilton on shore leave. Well, that, and the fact that my idea inbox is empty. I’ll give it another go after dinner, but only if I have something mildly entertaining to write.

The Whole System Is Outta Order!

Thursday, June 16th, 2005

Jerry Orbach, I found your replacement on Law and Order. Before I get any nasty-grams from my friend Bill, I’m posting so late because I was in court all morning. (Bill likes to read SYLG during his lunch hour. Most folks like to read it in the bathroom. The printed version comes in handy after [...]

"I’d like fifteen chicken fa-jy-tas, please!"

Wednesday, June 15th, 2005

The author (pictured above) before his venture into Atkins territory. Like most police officers, I am a fat bastard. I hate to perpetuate the stereotype, but it’s true. My dimensions would make Rosie O’Donnell proud of her appearance: 5’8″, 220 pounds. (This is not my weight on Venus, by the way!) The reasons for my [...]

Cry Freedom!

Tuesday, June 14th, 2005

Despite what I posted yesterday, I never really thought Michael Jackson would be convicted. It was more wishful thinking on my part, since I would have pulled every law enforcement string I had to see him moonwalking in D Block. Unfortunately, the prosecution’s case was flimsy at best, and District Attorney Tom Sneddon had to [...]

Warning Shots

Monday, June 13th, 2005

I realize that this is a terrible way for a police officer to think, but will the Michael Jackson jury just get it over with and find him guilty? I’m sorry, but Natalee Holloway is dead. NASCAR’s ridiculous gear ratio rule changes ruined yesterday’s Pocono 500. Thirteen lousy lead changes, and a scrub like Carl [...]

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