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We Got Him!

By Wyatt Earp | June 20, 2005

Sort of.

File this non-story under the heading of “Idiotic Statements by Government Officials.” In an interview for TIME Magazine, CIA Director Porter Goss (Porter?) says he has an idea where Osama bin Laden is hiding. Lookee, lookee:

Asked whether that meant he knew where bin Laden is, Goss responded: “I have an excellent idea where he is. What’s the next question?”

Wow. Case closed. The CIA knows where bin Laden is. I know I’ll sleep better tonight. Of course, Goss never gives even the tiniest hint as to the al-Qaeda leader’s whereabouts, but I truly believe him. I mean, I knew the identity of Deep Throat all along. I just didn’t tell anyone. Come to think of it, I knew all about 9-11 beforehand, too, but I forgot to mention it. While we’re at it, I knew who killed Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman! It was O.J. What? Everyone knew that? Damn.

Hey, thanks, Mr. Goss! By the way, I think you’re doing an excellent job. Asshat.

Topics: War On Terror | 7 Comments »

7 Responses to “We Got Him!”

  1. The Conservative UAW Guy Says:
    June 20th, 2005 at 8:35 am

    If they know where he is, why isn’t a cruise missle “cruising” to his locations?


  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 20th, 2005 at 8:49 am

    Great question. I’d even be happy with a “Cleaner Team” going in and setting things right. I guess all of the CIA’s spooks are too busy writing code for SOCOM: Navy Seals 3 for PS2.

  3. Dr. Phat Tony Says:
    June 20th, 2005 at 2:16 pm

    I have a pretty good ideah where he is to. I’m betting in some majority Muslim nation that hates America. 10 to 1 I’m right. Man I should be a spook.

  4. Tyler D. Says:
    June 20th, 2005 at 4:53 pm

    You forget the “rest” of his excuse.

    We cannot go and get him because we have to “respect” other nations seventy.

    Well, damn why in the hell are we in Iraq and Afghanistan?

    If they actually knew where he was, I don’t think they would hesitate to kick ass and take names.

  5. Tyler D. Says:
    June 20th, 2005 at 4:59 pm

    You have also been blogrolled.

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 20th, 2005 at 7:14 pm

    Ty – Right back at ya!

  7. Damian G. Says:
    June 20th, 2005 at 9:44 pm

    “Asshats,” in-deed, CUG.