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By Wyatt Earp | June 21, 2005

Let’s give a shout out to The Great Unwashed.

The Biotechnology Industry Organization (BIO) 2005 Convention is currently underway in Philadelphia, and today appears to be D-Day for protestors, “activists,” and any other unemployed, long-hair, tree-hugging, hippie scumbags who have nothing better to do than travel the country in their Ed Begley-inspired electric cars, searching for an opportunity to be brutally beaten by the police. (Holy run-on sentence, Batman!)

BIO president Jim Greenwood explained that his industry is not the bad guy here:

This new, dynamic industry has already developed unique therapies for cancer, multiple sclerosis, arthritis, heart attacks, and strokes – just to name a few.”

Those bastards!

Greenwood’s explanation is ignored by professional protestors, who believe that groups such as BIO are polluting the earth and responsible for all of the five-legged humans that have become so commonplace. A group called Bio-Democracy has scheduled rallies, marches, and other wastes of time for both the morning and evening rush hours in Center City; a move sure to bring out the road rage in the city’s thousands of working stiffs. The Philadelphia Daily News stated today will be the “longest traffic jam of the year.” And, of course, Bio-Democracy refused to obtain police permits. Spokes-toad Hart Feuer (Seig Heil!) stated that “permits are a violation of our free-speech rights.” Yeah, so is a nightstick across the throat, Hart.

So, give us your stinky, your dirty, your wretched, and all those yearning to not shave their armpits. Philadelphia welcomes you!

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