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This Is For All The Fat Girls!

Saturday, October 30th, 2010

Sorry for channeling Camryn Manheim, but this story had me convulsing in the middle of the kitchen floor. The worst part is that I was buck naked at the time. Wow, I probably shouldn’t have put “Camryn Manheim” and “buck naked” so close together. If you’re a fan of personal responsibility, I would suggest you [...]

Desmond Tutu: Rabid Anti-Semite

Wednesday, October 27th, 2010

Desmond Tutu made a pretty good career for himself in the 80′s when he was speaking out against apartheid. He denounced the racism prevalent in South Africa, and won the Nobel Peace Prize for his efforts. Now Tutu is making a name for himself in a different way; by promoting his anti-Israel, anti-Semitic agenda: Retired [...]

Crocodile Downs Airliner

Sunday, October 24th, 2010

Now there is a headline I never thought I’d write. In the Congo, passengers smuggle more than drugs onto their flights. Some people smuggle vicious, deadly amphibians. I am trying very hard to not make light of this situation, since 20 people were killed, but I have to tell you, it’s very difficult. A small [...]

Thursday, October 21st, 2010

Personally, I despise Google for their refusal to recognize Memorial Day, D-Day, and America in general. The fact that they are using loopholes to get out of paying $60 billion in taxes is just icing on the cake. Google Inc. cut its taxes by $3.1 billion in the last three years using a technique that [...]

92-Year Old Banned From FL Library

Monday, October 18th, 2010

What is it with guys named Herbert? I thought the character “Herbert” from Family Guy was not based on any real person. I guess I was wrong. This Herbert was banned from all Florida libraries. What was his offense? Sexual harassment of a librarian. Stuart resident Herbert Johnson, 92, has been ordered to stay out [...]

“Do You Expect Me To Talk?”

Saturday, October 16th, 2010

“No, Mr. Bond, we expect you to testify!” Sean Connery – my favorite actor of all time – is in hot water after failing to show up for a court appearance in Spain. He was to be give testimony on a disputed land deal, but missed the appearance, citing ill health and the fact that [...]

Delaware Teen Channels His Inner Jackass

Tuesday, October 12th, 2010

Apparently, it’s idiot day in the Philadelphia area. Luckily for me, I am an idiot every day. Of course, I never tried something as despicable as turning over a port-a-potty while someone is inside, like some punk-ass teen did in Delaware. In my opinion, capital punishment should be doled out for criminals like these. New [...]

Sexy Sesame Street Costumes Debut

Monday, October 4th, 2010

Yeah, you read that correctly. “Sexy” Sesame Street costumes. I guess Katy Perry’s cleavage-filled appearance on the children’s show – which was never aired – got some enterprising young marketing executives thinking. I don’t know exactly what they were thinking, but they were thinking. Personally, I think the costumes are creepy, and if some chick [...]

You Can’t Spell Raygun Without “UN”

Monday, September 27th, 2010

Just when you thought the United Nations couldn’t be more useless: Mazlan Othman, a Malaysian astrophysicist, is set to be tasked with co-ordinating humanity’s response if and when extraterrestrials make contact. Aliens who landed on earth and asked: “Take me to your leader” would be directed to Mrs Othman. She will set out the details [...]

Congressional Dems Waste America’s Time

Friday, September 24th, 2010

Illegal immigration is a hot-button issue in this country, so a plan to allow migrant farm workers legal status through the AgJOBS bill requires serious debate. The Democrats, however, took this serious issue and turned it into a sideshow when they invited “migrant farmer expert” Stephen Colbert to testify at a congressional hearing. Stephen. Frakkin’. [...]

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