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We’re Riding On The Escalator Of Death

By Wyatt Earp | November 6, 2010

As if there weren’t enough problems in Washington, D.C., the escalators of the D.C. Metro have been going crazy this week. Apparently, the things are built with a braking system, but like most things inside the Beltway, they don’t work.

The result? Dozens of passengers have been sent flying, and ambulance chasers have been manning the stations 24/7. Even Michael Bay has scoped out the scene for his new film, “Escalator to Hell.”

Two escalator brake failures in five days sent passengers flying down to the bottom — and landed four in the hospital, putting the spotlight on Metro’s deteriorating escalator performance.

Both brake failures happened when the escalators were packed. The first occurred after Saturday’s rally on the National Mall when a L’Enfant Plaza station escalator went into free fall; the second came on Wednesday night at Gallery Place-Chinatown, where witnesses said a station escalator suddenly sped up on passengers who were leaving the Washington Capitals game.

Oh well, it could have been worse . . .

Topics: Evil = Funny, Video | 10 Comments »

10 Responses to “We’re Riding On The Escalator Of Death”

  1. richard mcenroe Says:
    November 6th, 2010 at 7:31 pm


  2. dragonlady474 Says:
    November 6th, 2010 at 9:00 pm

    Okay, I feel bad that I lmao, and all of this reminds me of a oneliner…”It’s not the fall that kills you, it’s the sudden stop at the end.” lol

  3. Wyatt Earp Says:
    November 6th, 2010 at 10:35 pm

    Richard – Friggin’. Brilliant!

    DL474 – Yeah, death by concrete poisoning.

  4. proof Says:
    November 7th, 2010 at 1:19 am

    Escalating Problems in Washington, D.C.?
    Strictly dog bites man, Wyatt.

  5. Veeshir Says:
    November 7th, 2010 at 8:43 am

    The Metro in DC is amazing.
    It’s like a cash cow for incompetents.

  6. Old NFO Says:
    November 7th, 2010 at 9:08 am

    And you wonder why I won’t ride the metro down here??? The latest explanation was there was too much weight on the escalator(s) which meant the auto shutdown, but since there was too much weight, the brakes failed… sigh… And some of those suckers are 3-4 stories tall!

  7. Ingineer66 Says:
    November 7th, 2010 at 2:20 pm

    Why would an escalator ever be closed. When it is turned off, it is just stairs.

  8. Robert B. Says:
    November 7th, 2010 at 2:47 pm

    Its all Bush’s fault.

  9. Peaches Says:
    November 7th, 2010 at 11:51 pm

    That gave me the giggles.

  10. RedeemedBoyd Says:
    November 8th, 2010 at 8:10 am

    – if they have slats lifted at one end or the other, they will close it, so people don’t walk most of the way up or down, only to discover a gaping maw of hungry gear-boxes awaiting their feet.
    However, I am still not overly surprised to see this sort of epic failure in DC.