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Watch Out, Cookie Puss: You’re Next

By Wyatt Earp | May 16, 2010

First Lady Michelle Obama is taking a bite out of childhood obesity. I guess that’s more acceptable than taking bites out of children. Obama has created a task force to attack obesity issues, because this is a much larger problem than terrorism or illegal immigration.

Michelle’s nonsense is the subject of this week’s Family Security Matters article. Here’s a sample:

Over the last four decades, First Ladies of the United States began to realize that their position was more boring than an episode of The View. As such, they desperately searched for something to do; something to give meaning to their otherwise monotonous duties of smiling, waving, and holding back a yawn while talking to Hugo Chávez. Out of this, the platform was born.

“The review by the Task Force on Childhood Obesity says one out of every three children is overweight or obese. The task force is a key part of First Lady Michelle Obama’s campaign to solve the problem of obesity within a generation. President Obama ordered the comprehensive review of the issue.”

There is a Task Force on Childhood Obesity? Somehow, that image invokes burly men in black fatigues repelling from the school roof, crashing through the windows, and yelling, “PUT THE TWINKIES DOWN!” That should at least scare a few pounds out of the children. As for the comprehensive review, everyone knows who’s the boss in the White House – and it’s not Tony Danza.

You can read the rest of the diabetes-inducing goodness HERE.

Topics: FSM | 8 Comments »

8 Responses to “Watch Out, Cookie Puss: You’re Next”

  1. AJ Lynch Says:
    May 16th, 2010 at 5:52 pm

    Thank God the blacklash against the Obama administration has begun.

  2. RogerDee Says:
    May 16th, 2010 at 8:47 pm

    You tell ‘em, Thunderthighs :-)

  3. Crazy Politico Says:
    May 16th, 2010 at 11:05 pm

    Hey, her “guideline” is only 70 points to prevent obesity in children. Too bad no one told her obesity in guidelines is an epidemic in DC.

    BTW, 1 guideline for kids to quit being fat. Put down the game controller and go out and play, until dark; every night.

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    May 17th, 2010 at 12:45 am

    AJ – “Blacklash?” Really??

    Roger – But her arms. They’re so . . . big!

    CP – It worked for us when we were younger.

  5. metoo Says:
    May 17th, 2010 at 9:16 am

    Oh, how I wish Obama would reclaim his balls from his wife so she would quit trying to dictate to everyone else. I’m just sayin’….

  6. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    May 17th, 2010 at 9:22 am

    It’s cheaper to feed your kids nuclear orange mac and cheese than a salad. Will five bucks buy you a salmon filet and broccoli? Absolutely not, but for that amount you can certainly supersize it at McDonald’s.

  7. Bob G. Says:
    May 17th, 2010 at 11:28 am

    She can have my Ring-Dings and Tastykakes when she can pry them from my cold, dead fingers.
    NOT before!
    (And save me some Krimpets, will ‘ya?)


  8. Wyatt Earp Says:
    May 17th, 2010 at 1:22 pm

    MeToo – They’re in a secure area . . . her bra.

    Mrs. Crankipants – Until they release McSalmon, anyway.

    Bob G – Mmm . . . butterscotch!