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Iran Remakes “Duke Nukem”

By Wyatt Earp | November 29, 2009

Iran Nuke ProgramEvery time you turn around there is another news story profiling Iran’s controversial nuclear program. Iran claims that the program is for strictly peaceful purposes. The sane world believes that it is working toward a nuclear arsenal. Eventually, Iran is going to dance with another country, and it is not going to be pretty.

This conundrum is the subject of my Family Security Matters article. Here’s a sample:

Good day, imperialist dogs. My name is Brigadier General Ahmad Mighani of the Iranian Revolutionary Guards and I am here to deliver a message of doom to the West. Our exalted President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad would have brought this message himself, but since today is his weekly back waxing, that duty falls to me. Between you and me, the president is a very hairy man – his nickname is Chewbacca, but I digress. For far too long, the peaceful Islamic Republic of Iran has been subjugated to scorn, ridicule, and threats from the United States and its allies. The Zionists, specifically, have threatened our peaceful nuclear program and they have forced us to prepare for their rumored attack:

Iran’s armed forces launched large-scale air defense war games on Sunday to show off the country’s deterrence capabilities in the face of pressure from the West over its nuclear program. The display of military muscle comes at a time of rising tension between Iran and six major powers, which fear Tehran’s nuclear program is aimed at producing nuclear weapons. Tehran denies this is the program’s purpose.

Of course we deny that this is the program’s purpose! Our nuclear program is a peaceful one, and is designed for peaceful purposes. We are currently working on a number of initiatives that will make Iran, and by extension the world, a much safer place.

You can read the rest of the (hopefully) funny by clicking HERE.

Topics: FSM | 7 Comments »

7 Responses to “Iran Remakes “Duke Nukem””

  1. Rides A Pale Horse Says:
    November 29th, 2009 at 2:42 pm

    (ahem)….I see a positive in all the negative surrounding the acquisition of nukes by Iran.

    Should Iran launch so much as ONE nuke, that would give us the excuse we need to totally obliterate the middle east and the cancer that is Islam. The remaining mohammedans in other locations could then be rounded up and sent back to the now radioactive hellholes they came from, further decreasing their numbers in the places that are firmly in the 21rst century.

    This all hinges on having a CIC that is willing to implement such a course of action so I guess that this is just wishful thinking……..


  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    November 29th, 2009 at 3:34 pm

    RAPH – But then we’ll have to deal with radioactive Muslim zombies!

  3. proof Says:
    November 29th, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    radioactive Muslim zombies

    Nuke ‘em ’til they glow and shoot ‘em in the dark!

  4. Old NFO Says:
    November 29th, 2009 at 7:46 pm

    I ‘think’ I hear jets starting up…

  5. Rides A Pale Horse Says:
    November 29th, 2009 at 8:01 pm

    One other suggestion………

  6. usmc8511 Says:
    November 30th, 2009 at 12:15 am

    …as president fuzznuts rotates on his thumb projecting his “smart power.”

  7. Wyatt Earp Says:
    November 30th, 2009 at 7:47 am

    Proof – Gotta be shot in the head. Only way to kill ‘em.

    Old NFO – One can only hope.

    RAPH – Awesome.

    USMC8511 – Thumbs up for evil!