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Fancy Living, Here I Come!

By Wyatt Earp | September 7, 2009


Well, I regret to inform everyone that this will be my last post at Support Your Local Gunfighter. You see, I received an e-mail from the Bank of Africa, informing me that I have been issued a Visa Card. The Visa card is to be used to collect a very large sum left in my name by an unknown benefactor.

The identity of the mysterious benefactor is still unknown, but with my incoming wealth, I should be able to track him down quite easily. Once I take possession of this absurd amount of money, I will be too busy traveling the globe with Jessica Biel to post on this insipid little blog.

Don’t believe me? Here’s the e-mail:

Dear Beneficiary,

Having reviewed all the obstacles and problems surrounding the transfer of your ($2.7 Million) Two Million Seven Hundred and United States Dollars and your inability to meet up with some charges levied against you due to the past transfer options,we the Board of Directors, Bank Of Africa (BOA) have ordered our Foreign Payment Remittance Unit to issue you a VISA CARD where your payment
will be uploaded. Today, we got the notice that your Payment has been uploaded into this VISA CARD and also have registered it with Sky Courier And Delivery Company. For your information, The delivery charges have been paid and they are supposed to have shipped your packaged (ATM CARD) but they insisted that you must re-confirm to them your current delivery address to ensure accurate Delivery.

There’s a catch – a minor Stamp Duty Fee – but it’s a small price to pay for a $2.7 million reward!

MOST IMPORTANTLY: Due to the content of the package, Sky courier mandated that before your package will be shipped, a Stamp Duty MUST be procured according to the New Shipping Creed on all packages leaving Africa .The essence of such Document is to ensure a hitch-free delivery and the amount of the Stamp Duty Fee is $121 . When this is done, Sky Courier will issue you with the tracking numbers for your package before the shipping commences . Therefore reconfirm your current delivery address. Do not forget that this $121 is all that you should send to them, the rest of the fees have been paid.

Freakin’. Awesome. So long, suckers! I’ll see you on Easy Street!!!

Topics: Coolness! | 15 Comments »

15 Responses to “Fancy Living, Here I Come!”

  1. Ingineer66 Says:
    September 7th, 2009 at 8:12 pm

    That is good stuff. We will miss your insightful writing. Say hello to Ms. Biel for us all.

  2. 1oldleg Says:
    September 7th, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    I can think of NO ONE more deserving of this windfall than a member of Philly’s Finest. Will the Mayor be able to pay you in advance for the Stamp fee? Touch Ms. Biel for us, will ya?

  3. Old NFO Says:
    September 7th, 2009 at 9:37 pm

    hehehe… See ya Tuesday…

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    September 7th, 2009 at 9:38 pm

    Ingineer66 – Oh, I’ll say hello . . .

    1oldleg – My request is in, but the Mayor hasn’t gotten back to me yet. Go figure.

    Old NFO – *Sigh* I’ll be here.

  5. Jeffro Says:
    September 7th, 2009 at 9:57 pm

    Just a Stamp Duty fee of $121? What could possibly go wrong?

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    September 7th, 2009 at 9:58 pm

    Jeffro – If you had any idea how many people in my division fall for this crap, it would make your head explode.

  7. Leo Says:
    September 7th, 2009 at 10:30 pm

    My favorite was when I received an email from Mrs. Yassir Afafat, looking for assistance in getting about 3.7 million of his stolen money out of France. I did reply to that one, as I think he stole upwards of 100 million. Oh well.

  8. Mike47 Says:
    September 7th, 2009 at 11:32 pm

    I know people who make sport of playing these thieves along for so long that they eventually realize they’ve become the suckers. I used to collect scam emails, just to see how many would accumulate. Finally quit at somewhere over a hundred. I think everyone in Nigeria who has a computer must be a crook.

  9. dragonlady Says:
    September 8th, 2009 at 12:42 am

    A site called Hog on Ice used to screw around with these guys…funny stuff.

  10. RT Says:
    September 8th, 2009 at 1:22 am

    Can you buy me a Lexus????

  11. Sully Says:
    September 8th, 2009 at 7:38 am

    Play along!!!

    please, the funny factor would be huge.

  12. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    September 8th, 2009 at 7:49 am

    I’d like a pair of Christian Louboutins!

  13. MeToo Says:
    September 8th, 2009 at 10:35 am

    “There’s a sucker born every minute….” Perhaps your squad could do a sting and then the idiots in your dept would no longer be clueless.

  14. Rick Says:
    September 8th, 2009 at 10:53 pm

    And to think I passed on this offer two weeks ago. Congratulations.Snark.

  15. Lergnom Says:
    September 9th, 2009 at 9:33 pm

    “– If you had any idea how many people in my division fall for this crap, it would make your head explode”.

    College professors fall for these occasionally.

    BTW, Hog on Ice wrote the world’s unhealthiest cookbook,
    “Eat What You Want and Die Like a Man”.
    Truly inspiring writing.