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Hi, I’m Billy Mays!

By Wyatt Earp | August 8, 2009

Billy mays cocaine“And apparently, I had a bit of a ‘cocaine issue’ before my untimely death!”

Now, before you start sending me hate mail, I was one of Mays’ biggest fans. I said as such when I posted about his death. That being said, if he was using cocaine, he probably made his own bed here.

I still think the guy was tremendously entertaining, but this throws a bit of a wet blanket on his memory.

An autopsy report issued Friday by Hillsborough County, Florida, cites cocaine as a contributing factor in the death of TV pitchman Billy Mays, who died in June at age 50.

“Mays died from a lethal arrhythmia of the heart caused by hypertensive and arteriosclerotic heart disease,” the county said in a statement attributed to Dr. Leszek Chrostowski, the associate medical examiner who conducted the autopsy.

“He further concluded that cocaine use caused or contributed to the development of his heart disease, and therefore contributed to his death,” it added.

The fact that toxicology tests detected only breakdown products of cocaine, not the drug itself, led Chrostowski to conclude that Mays had used cocaine “in the few days prior to death but not immediately prior to death.” (H/TCNN)

Well, I guess we know why he was always so cheerful and full of energy. Why can’t the Free Credit Report guys start using cocaine? I hate those toads!

Topics: Snarkasm | 9 Comments »

9 Responses to “Hi, I’m Billy Mays!”

  1. Dano Says:
    August 8th, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    Now if only Vince would overdose…

  2. RT Says:
    August 8th, 2009 at 3:01 pm

    Why can’t the Free Credit Report guys start using cocaine?

    I think they might into the mellower stuff…for medicinal purposes, of course.

  3. Wyatt Earp Says:
    August 8th, 2009 at 3:04 pm

    Dano – The ShamWow is probably highly toxic as it is.

    RT – Noinch, noinch, noinch, smokin’ weed, smokin’ weed . . .

  4. cbullitt Says:
    August 8th, 2009 at 3:07 pm

    Come to think of it, Billy’s funeral was rather upbeat.

    BTW, the Tombstone line in the head is my favorite in the film, but then Val had all the good lines. “I’m your huckleberry.”

    Oh, there’s spassfabrik.

  5. proof Says:
    August 8th, 2009 at 3:15 pm

    I guess the lesson is don’t do anything in life that you don’t want reported after your death.

    In a somewhat related story, rumor has it that Billy had borrowed Michael Jackson’s nose to snort his cocaine!

  6. Insolublog Says:
    August 8th, 2009 at 4:09 pm

    John Belushi, Chris Farley… you live by the snort, you die by the snort. Too bad.

  7. Wes S. Says:
    August 8th, 2009 at 8:09 pm

    “Hi! Billy Mays here for Inca Scratch-’N-Sniff! The magical new product that might not make all your troubles go away, but make you feel so much better about them! Just a little pinch in each nostril and all your cares just float away…!”

  8. Wyatt Earp Says:
    August 8th, 2009 at 9:30 pm

    cbullitt – There’s always spassfabrik. And it is always good.

    Proof – I would have said Karl Malden’s, but since he also passed recently . . .

    Insol – Agreed. Dumb.

    Wes S – Testimonial by Marion Barry!

  9. Bitter American Says:
    August 8th, 2009 at 11:09 pm

    OxyClean – its not the only white powder keeping me going!! :)