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Lottery Winner Opens Nude Dude Ranch

By Wyatt Earp | April 20, 2009

fsu-cowgirlsGod Lord, I hope dude-ettes – like these fabulous Florida State fans – are allowed! I think we’ve had enough Brokeback Mountain jokes to last a lifetime.

Of course, this story represents what happens when poor white trash earns their retirement plan – aka the lottery. The winner (or winners) spend their booty on insane, idiotic items.

Not me, though. I would invest wisely. I’d spend my cash on a solid gold house and a rocket car.

BROOKSVILLE: You’ve heard of nude beaches, but how about a nude dude ranch?

A multi-million-dollar lottery winner in Florida is riling some by opening up his own. Tim Clements hit a $3.3 million jackpot in 2004, and wanted to return to the farm life he grew up in.

He and David Jennings, co-owner of the ranch, say the farm is secluded enough to be in the buff. But they have two big problems – local zoning laws and a nudity ban in Hernando County.

Clements says they’ll try to get the necessary paperwork, but if they can’t get approval he’ll close the CJ Ranch again to all but friends.

Though their Web site says clothing is optional, there is a caveat: Everyone “must wear pants and boots to ride the horses.” (H/TMSNBC)

It is probably a good idea to require pants and boots when people are baling hay, as well. A pitchfork to the bum really smarts. Or so I’ve heard.

Topics: WTF? | 9 Comments »

9 Responses to “Lottery Winner Opens Nude Dude Ranch”

  1. Diller Says:
    April 20th, 2009 at 8:11 am

    Have had a lot of experience with horses,and horses-asses,but no nudist resort experience,but since that location is less than a hundred miles away,I might apply for whorse wrangler. However I doubt there would be many riders that look like the two you have pictured. OH yeah,there’s been a nudist colony in an adjoining county to this site for yrs.

  2. John D Says:
    April 20th, 2009 at 10:35 am

    Rocket Car!!! Yeah, baby. Now that’s what I’m talkin’ bout.

  3. Doghouse Says:
    April 20th, 2009 at 11:26 am

    Tim Clements … wanted to return to the farm life he grew up in.

    So, he grew up on a nekkid ranch?

  4. Alan B Says:
    April 20th, 2009 at 12:10 pm

    So, fellow readers, does this equation hold in general?

    Poor white trash + $3.3M = Rich white trash

  5. Wyatt Earp Says:
    April 20th, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    Diller – Can you sign on as a babe wrangler?

    John D – I want one!!!

    Doghouse – Must have been a pretty good childhood, but lots of inconvenient splinters.

    Alan B – Absolutely correct!!! Good show!

  6. C/A Says:
    April 20th, 2009 at 3:12 pm

    Why else play the lottery?

  7. Randal Graves Says:
    April 20th, 2009 at 10:26 pm

    Answer: Nude & Dude.

    Question: What are two words that Randal Graves will never use in the same sentence?

  8. Robert Swick Says:
    April 20th, 2009 at 11:03 pm

    Wow, looking at those FSU girls, I can’t help but think “They must be from California because they have silicone valley all down their chests.”


  9. Wyatt Earp Says:
    April 21st, 2009 at 1:07 pm

    Captain – Good point.

    Randal – Well, there was that one time in band camp . . .

    Robert – Ba-dump-bump!