Recent Posts

Recent Comments


Cop Land

« Lock And Load | Main | Weekend Caption Contest »

Paris Hilton’s Home Burglarized

By Wyatt Earp | December 19, 2008

<i>Don't hate me because I'm a whore.</i>

Don't hate me because I'm a whore.

Bawahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I wonder if the thieves took her herpes medication?

SHERMAN OAKS — An estimated $2 million worth of jewelry and other belongings were stolen from the home of Paris Hilton during an early morning burglary, according to sources within the Los Angeles police Department.

Los Angeles Police Department spokesman, Richard French, says a man in a hooded sweatshirt and gloves forced entry through Hilton’s front door and ransacked her bedroom around 5 a.m. this morning. Detectives from the L.A.P.D’s Van Nuys division responded to a call from a security guard. Hilton was not home at the time of the break-in, French says, but her home, located in the 3300 block of Clarendon street, in Mulholland Estates area, is equipped with security video equipment.

It remains unclear whether this case is anyway connected to last year’s series of serial burglaries that targeted celebrities in the Westside.

Hilton recently told Esquire magazine about her home: “The best thing I’ve ever bought with money is my house. Having a nightclub in your house really helps for having a party.” (H/T - )

God, she is such a jackass. If there were any justice, the crooks would have stolen her, too.

Topics: Evil = Funny |

7 Responses to “Paris Hilton’s Home Burglarized”

  1. CaptainAmerica Says:
    December 19th, 2008 at 10:11 pm

    Lemme guess they also took one of her “Private” videotapes…

  2. RT Says:
    December 19th, 2008 at 10:39 pm

    Uh…no alarm system? Duh.

    Inside job?

  3. Ryan Says:
    December 19th, 2008 at 10:44 pm

    This ‘news’ item was considered serious enough to warrant a reporter outside the gates to the Sherman Oaks neighborhood where the house is located and (I’m not kidding) a helicopter shot of the actual house.

    How slow is your news day? Well, we prioritized a story about Paris Hilton…

    Is it Monday yet? Can I go back to normal land yet?

  4. Ky Person Says:
    December 20th, 2008 at 5:21 am

    I hope the burglars washed up afterwards. One never knows what nasty germs are lurking around la casa de Paris Hilton.

  5. Crankipants Says:
    December 20th, 2008 at 7:55 am

    Such a dumb bunny…

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 20th, 2008 at 1:00 pm

    Captain - Does she have any “private” videotapes that America hasn’t already seen?

    RT - Apparently, this may be part of a string of burglaries.

    Ryan - Well, she is America’s Sweetheart . . . Heh.

    Ky person - I am sure they didn’t steal any antibacterial soap.

    Crankipants - She makes everyone around her look much, much smarter!

  7. marvin Says:
    December 20th, 2008 at 1:26 pm

    She had $2,000,000 worth of diamonds to steel, but how much do you want to bet the Security Guard was some poor guy off the street only making $10 an hour? Worse, he was probably shared by the whole HOA. I am not blaming him, just the whole lack of concept of “if you have something worth protecting, then it is probably worth protecting well.”

    Don’t laugh at the stupid rich people. If you are protecting your home with only a pug and a never used .22 target pistol, then you are guilty of the same mindset.