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English Town Banning “Dirty” Street Names

By Wyatt Earp | January 5, 2009

lewes-englandIt’s official: Political correctness is destroying the world.

I really wish I knew what happened to England, but between the hippies, the political correctness, and the unspoken Muslim invasion, the country may never be the same again.

A British town is setting guidelines to ensure that new streets don’t wind up with names like Cockshut Road, the Daily Mail reports.

On Tuesday the Lewes District Council is expected to set a street naming and numbering policy to ban rude-sounding or unflattering names like Hoare Road and Cracknuts Lane.

Well, by that ambiguous standard, they can ban almost any name. They can certainly ban any name with “wood” in the title. Heh, heh, “wood.”

Other names deemed “aesthetically unsuitable” like Gaswork Road, Tip House and Coalpit Lane should also be avoided, the council said. Other banned names could be “capable of deliberate misinterpretation” like Hoare Road, Typple Avenue and Quare Street.

Oh, for God’s sake, get a grip, Lewes! Hell, some people’s interpretation of the town’s name would lead to its banning. “Yeah, I met this girl the other night. She was really ‘Lewes.’” And for that matter, we better change the names of Titson, England, Boysack, Scotland, and Mousehole, England. Morons.

“Street names which could give offence are not used, nor are names which encourage defacing name plates,” the council told the Daily Mail. (H/T - FOXNews)

Congratulations, Lewes. You have just usurped San Francisco for the title of “most idiotic town in the world.” I rarely - if ever - call for open revolt and revolution, but for the sake of the people of Lewes, England, I think this is the perfect time for a coup.

Topics: Snarkasm |

21 Responses to “English Town Banning “Dirty” Street Names”

  1. kaveman Says:
    January 5th, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    Open revolt or…bring back Monty Python, the Thin Blue line and Black Adder.

    In all honesty, I think it would be just spiffy if we invaded England and turned it into one of our colonies.

    Hmmm, better not call it COLONies, though.

  2. GroovyVic Says:
    January 5th, 2009 at 3:40 pm

    Oh, that’s funny.

    My maiden name is Alcox. It’s of English origin.

    Yeah…imagine having a name like that as a teenager.

  3. dragonlady474 Says:
    January 5th, 2009 at 3:46 pm

    I guess next they’ll be banning the last name “Moorehead”. :)

  4. Alan B Says:
    January 5th, 2009 at 5:23 pm

    Then there’s the Balls Pond Road in Hackney, London. A few more beginning with “B”:

    Bag Lane
    Balls Street
    Bell End
    Bent Lane
    Bitchams Mead
    Bordom Hill
    Bottom Street
    Bugger End
    Bummers Hill
    Bulcock Street
    Butt Lane
    Butts Court
    Butts Street

    The word barmy meaning mud, stupid, nuts comes from a place i used to live in which had several mental hospitals of the old sort.

    And to show it is not just the British who are barmy, how about:

    Anus (France)
    Bangkok (Thailand)
    Beersville (USA)
    Bendery (Moldova)
    Bog (Iran, Cameroon)
    Boring (USA)
    Bottom (USA)
    Bum (Afghanistan)
    Bung (Ghana)
    Burrumbuttock (Australia)
    Climax (USA, Canada)
    Condom (France)
    Crapo (USA)
    Dik (Chad, Sudan)
    Dikshit (India)
    Dildo (Chad)
    Dog (Guinea)
    Dott (USA)
    Eggs and Bacon Bay (Australia)
    Fanny (USA)
    Fat (Iran)
    Fukang (China)
    Fukui (Japan)
    Fucking (Austria)
    Gay (USA, Russia, Cameroon)
    Gas (USA)
    Gin Gin (Australia)
    Hell (Norway)
    Hellhole (USA)
    Horneytown (USA)
    Intercourse (USA)
    Iron Knob (Australia)
    Kok (Ethiopia)
    Koolyannobbing (Australia)
    Lake Trousers (Canada)
    Loo (Estonia, Guinea, Netherlands)
    Poopó (Bolivia)
    Pukekohe (New Zealand)
    Pratt (USA)
    Pukë (Albania)
    Seymen (Turkey)
    Shit (Iran)
    Sic (Romania)
    Spasticville (USA)
    Spit Junction (Australia)
    Tit (Algeria)
    Toad Suck (USA)
    Wank (Germany)
    Whakapapa (New Zealand - the ‘Wh’ is pronounced ‘F’)
    Watanobbi (Australia)
    Windpassing (Austria)

    (I refuse to reveal my source - I may need it again …)

  5. RT Says:
    January 5th, 2009 at 7:43 pm

    This, from a country that eats spotted dick and bangers (w/mash, of course). I wonder if there is a town named Woodwhistle?

    Btw., I’m moving to Horneytown (yes, “Funky Town” is going through my head).

  6. Snigs Says:
    January 5th, 2009 at 9:36 pm

    We are heading toward a time where all restaurants will be Taco Bell and we’ll be issued “credits” for uttering damn, aren’t we?

    I guess they’ll be taking Climax, MN and Intercourse, PA off the European versions of world maps now too.

  7. Eric Jablow Says:
    January 5th, 2009 at 9:47 pm

    Don’t forget Scunthorpe, England. Or every Fairfax and Middlesex County.

  8. Eric Jablow Says:
    January 5th, 2009 at 9:48 pm

    Oops. I meant Sussex County. I live in Fairfax County, VA.

  9. Wyatt Earp Says:
    January 5th, 2009 at 10:00 pm

    Kaveman - Make them one of our colonies? The circle of life continues!

    GroovyVic - I’ll bet you got asked out on a lot of dates. Heh.

    DL474 - And Bond films. Every femme fatale has a dirty sounding name. Paging Pussy Galore.

    Alan - Bawahahahaha!

    RT - Vincent Antonelli eats spotted dick. Heh.

    Snigs - And Clinton, South Carolina! :)

  10. Tom Jones Says:
    January 5th, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    Oregon has a “Darky Creek Road” near Waldport.

  11. Wyatt Earp Says:
    January 5th, 2009 at 11:12 pm

    Tom - RACIST!!! Heh.

  12. BlueCanuck Says:
    January 6th, 2009 at 12:10 am

    I see the Dildo Chad, and raise you Dildo Newfoundland Canada.

  13. Wyatt Earp Says:
    January 6th, 2009 at 12:14 am

    BlueCanuck - Well played!!!

  14. Alan B Says:
    January 6th, 2009 at 4:43 am

    RT said:
    “This, from a country that eats spotted dick and bangers (w/mash, of course). I wonder if there is a town named Woodwhistle?”

    “Banger” does not have much baggage attached to it. If someone refers to a banger or an old banger they are more likely to be referring to a clapped out car.

    Some idiots tried to change the name from Spotted Dick to Spotted Richard (seriously!)

    Woodwhistle? Not aware of anywhere over here by that name but there is a software company in the London dock area:

  15. Alan B Says:
    January 6th, 2009 at 4:46 am

    Eric Jablow seems to have his sexes a bit mixed up!

    There are Sussex, Middlesex and (in the past) Wessex.

    Almost certainly the sex part is a corruption of Sax so Wessex is the land of the West Saxons etc.

    Sorry to disappoint you on the Middlesex!

  16. GroovyVic Says:
    January 6th, 2009 at 6:49 am

    Wyatt- Ha! No…

  17. GroovyVic Says:
    January 6th, 2009 at 6:49 am

    You know, over in WV there is a road called, I kid you not, “Shades of Death.”

    Will someone be taking offense to that next?

  18. Ky Person Says:
    January 6th, 2009 at 7:45 am

    There was a short street near my place of work that used to be called Kiss Me Quick Lane. But the terminally morose got hold of it and now it’s 15th street.

  19. USA_Admiral Says:
    January 6th, 2009 at 10:02 am

    Another politician with nothing better to do.

  20. Alan B Says:
    January 6th, 2009 at 12:35 pm

    Classic case of micro-management with people trying to run the minutiae of other people’s lives. They have learned it from the UK Government who in turn take their orders from the Euopean Union.

    A few months ago the tiny Libertarian Party in the UK sent a copy of 1984 by George Orwell to all MPs with the note that this was a warning, not an instruction manual.

  21. Alan B Says:
    January 6th, 2009 at 12:42 pm

    To be serious for a moment. The beauty of Great Britain, and especially the English, used to be summed up in 4 I words:


    That is all being crushed because these kinds of people do not fit into the State-Control mode.