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Joe Pa’s Glasses Stolen!

By Wyatt Earp | January 8, 2009

<i>Is that the real Joe Pa, or the statue?</i>

Is that the real Joe Pa, or the statue?

Unfortunately, they were only taken from his statue, not his 205-year old decrepit face. Heh.

STATE COLLEGE, Pa. - January 8, 2009 — Penn State police are looking out for Joe Paterno’s Coke bottle-thick glasses - the bronzed ones that were perched on the statue of the iconic football coach that stands outside Beaver Stadium.

Has anyone questioned Millhouse Van Houten? Maybe he lost his pair?

Vandals apparently cut the glasses off just above the base of the ears of the 7-foot sculpture between 11 a.m. Friday and 11 a.m. Saturday, when a police officer noticed the damage.

An officer “observed someone had removed the glasses from the Joe Paterno statue located on the east side of Beaver Stadium,” said a university police log. (H/T - WPVI)

Look, I can’t stand the guy, but I didn’t do it. I have an alibi and witnesses. The State College Police should probably be looking at Father Time, though, since he’s already taken Joe Pa’s eyesight, faculties, football knowledge . . .

Topics: Evil = Funny |

5 Responses to “Joe Pa’s Glasses Stolen!”

  1. Doghouse Says:
    January 8th, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    Man, these new glasses make typing so much easier …

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    January 8th, 2009 at 3:49 pm

    Doghouse - Okay, that’s funny right there!

  3. Sully Says:
    January 8th, 2009 at 5:11 pm

    Not bad, I always enjoy a good hack. MIT has had some funny ones.

  4. kaveman Says:
    January 8th, 2009 at 6:40 pm


    If I were a detective wanting to find the glasses, I’d simply wait for a decent amount of snow to fall and then drive around and take a looksee at all the snowmen people have made.

  5. Wyatt Earp Says:
    January 9th, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    Sully - Good to know the bariniacs have a great sense of humor.

    Kaveman - Will you be my mentor? You seem to think of these things much more quickly than I do.