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What Liberals Want

By Wyatt Earp | October 19, 2008

Ah, liberals. Where would we be without them? Oh, happy, armed, and rich, I suppose. But I digress. We know how they think – when they think – but columnist Timothy Noah thinks he is divulging trade secrets with his latest article. It’s inane premise is the topic of this week’s Family Security Matters article. Here’s a sample:

Last week, an article appeared at that was sure to give even the healthiest person a brain aneurysm. Written by Timothy Noah, the piece described the euphoria of the liberals’ victory over the dreaded conservatives. Sure, the election is not for three weeks, but since when have facts gotten in the way of a good celebration?

Noah then lets conservatives – the three who read Slate on a regular basis – in on the great secret of the liberal mind: They think things that they would never say! . . .

. . . Noah fails to realize that there is a flip side to his “What Liberals are Thinking” rant. Conservatives are thinking things that they would not usually speak aloud, as well. This is because they would rather avoid the tags of fascism, racism, and pretty much every other derogatory “ism” one can think of. If Mr. Noah is reading, maybe he will receive some insight into “What Conservatives are Thinking.”

Tax cuts kick tushie. Nobody likes tax increases. If you don’t believe it, just ask the Colonists. They went to war over high taxes! So, when knuckleheads like Joe Biden tell supporters that paying more taxes is “patriotic,” and fools like Barack Obama tell plumbers that America needs to “spread the wealth around,” conservatives wrap their heads in duct tape. Higher taxes will mean a rise in duct tape prices, and that would be terrible for this country, because an Obama administration may necessitate a truckload of tape for conservative skulls.

You can read the rest of the (hopefully) funny HERE.

Topics: FSM | 2 Comments »

2 Responses to “What Liberals Want”

  1. USA_Admiral Says:
    October 20th, 2008 at 1:07 pm

    Entertaining article.

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    October 21st, 2008 at 6:05 pm

    Admiral – Thank you, sir.