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Tasty Tender Ribs

By Wyatt Earp | November 18, 2005

I’m hurt pretty bad. I think I’ve got some internal bleeding.

Last night, we had a hockey game against Battalion, who has been sitting atop our league standings for most of the year. Our hopes were brightened when we took the ice and saw that the other team only had two subs on the bench, as opposed to our seven. Cool! As long as we keep ‘em tired, we’re gold, Jerry, gold!

That’s why they play the games.

What came next was the most complete ass kicking in modern hockey history. When the smoke cleared, we lost 9-3, and yours truly took a butt-end of a stick into the ribs. Our team is now alone in the cellar, with little hope of seeing daylight anytime soon. When I got home, I eased myself into bed . . . and stared at the ceiling for five hours. I haven’t had one minute sleep today, and I am juggling the constant pain and the nausea. Swell.

The only bright spot of the evening is that I finally got on the score sheet. And I made a damned good play to boot. (Considering my self-deprecating tendencies, believe me when I say this.) My line (me, my brother-in-law Mike, and my best friend Brian) led a three-on-two rush up the ice. Brian carried the puck into the offensive zone and dropped a pass to me, who was trailing him. As I received the pass, I saw Mike out of the corner of my eye, and hit him with a perfect backhand pass, right on the tape. Mike took the puck and beat the goalie through the five-hole. Sweetness!

Sure, we got our butts kicked, but it was nice to have something positive to blog about today. Thankfully, our next game isn’t until November 26, so I can try to heal by then.

Topics: Uncategorized | 9 Comments »

9 Responses to “Tasty Tender Ribs”

  1. Steve Says:
    November 18th, 2005 at 12:22 pm

    Niiiiice!! Did you give that punk an elbow to the grill when he hit you with the end of his stick? It is hockey you know!! Hope you get to feeling better!!

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    November 18th, 2005 at 12:29 pm

    Steve – I wish. Being the sissy that I am, I crumpled a bit, then slowly skated to the bench. However, I had my assist after the injury, so at least I got SOME payback.

  3. rt Says:
    November 18th, 2005 at 10:11 pm

    Muckers the likes of the “Hound” would be proud! But…OUCH!!!! Get well…you need ouchless ribs for the wagon ya know. All those lovely Philly potholes and such.

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    November 19th, 2005 at 2:10 pm

    RT – The Great Bob Kelly! Loved him growing up. I feel a little better today (Sat), and should be good to go on Sunday night for work.

  5. Anonymous Says:
    November 19th, 2005 at 8:10 pm

    Don’t you wear ANY kind of protection?

    Sorry you’re hurting. Feel better soon.

    Try not to kill yourself out there.

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    November 19th, 2005 at 10:21 pm

    Anon – What, you mean like condoms? Actually, wear shoulder pads with an extended chest protector, but there isn’t any protection for my ribs. I have my old lacrosse rib pads, and am contemplating wearing them the next game.

  7. Anonymous Says:
    November 20th, 2005 at 1:22 pm

    Condoms ruin the mood!

    How high do those girdle pants come up? Don’t they offer any sort of protection for the ribs?

  8. Wyatt Earp Says:
    November 20th, 2005 at 2:26 pm

    Anon – The pants have built-in kidney pads, but there is some space between the top of the pants and the bottom of the shoulder pads. The unprotected area is right at the ribs.

  9. Anonymous Says:
    November 20th, 2005 at 8:40 pm

    Wow! Sucks to be you then!

    Feel better soon.