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Archive for November, 2005

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New Jersey Slogans

Wednesday, November 16th, 2005

God, I am so behind the times on this one, but I had to add my $0.02. The state of New Jersey is looking for a new slogan, and they are asking the public’s input. (God, what morons!) The Man at GOP and the City has offered more than a few, as I am sure [...]

Weddin’ Memories

Tuesday, November 15th, 2005

Occasionally, readers ask me to post a picture of myself (or with my lovely bride). Usually, I decline – and for good reason; I’m butt-ugly – but today I figured what the hell. So, here we are at our wedding reception. I made the tux myself!
The Earps on our magical, mystical wedding journey.

Nike Forgives Kobe

Tuesday, November 15th, 2005

. . . and thus taught us all love’s true meaning.
Nike announced yesterday that they will release a new sneaker which will be endorsed by the “I Didn’t Do It Boy,” Kobe Bryant. (Bonus points for those who recognized the obscure Simpsons quote.) Of course, this momentous occasion calls for a little celebrating. Put on [...]

Severed-Finger Lickin’ Good

Tuesday, November 15th, 2005

A car bomb exploded outside a KFC restaurant in Pakistan this morning. Pundits thought it strange for “The Colonel” to try his hand at the desert nomad demographic, until it was determined that (in this case) “KFC” stands for Karachi Fried Camels.

Doug Forrester: Idiot

Monday, November 14th, 2005

“Hot Dog! We have a wiener, folks!”Former New Jersey Republican candidate for Governor Doug Forrester is like school in the summertime: no class. Forrester, who couldn’t win a one-horse race, blamed last week’s loss on President Bush, because G.W.’s popularity had been slipping.
It’s all George W. Bush’s fault.
Doug Forrester, in his first post [...]

Eddie Guerrero 1967-2005

Monday, November 14th, 2005

A World Wrestling Entertainment star was found dead in his hotel room Sunday in Minneapolis, where he was scheduled to appear that evening in a WWE show.
Eduardo Gory Guerrero, 38, didn’t respond to a wake-up call Sunday morning, authorities said. His nephew, fellow WWE wrestler Chavo Guerrero, and hotel security at the Minneapolis [...]

A "Chilly" Reception

Monday, November 14th, 2005

Since no one reads this blog anymore, I might as well post about our brutal hockey game last night. The X-Men (that’s my team, by the way) faced off against Chilly McPhilly’s (whom we beat last time, 7-4), and from the outset, we knew it was gonna be a hard-hitting match. My first clue: as [...]

Think He Was Drinking "Busch" Beer?

Sunday, November 13th, 2005

How difficult do you think it will be to install a breathalyzer-activated ignition on a stock car?PHOENIX – Kurt Busch was detained on suspicion of drunken driving and cited for reckless driving after a confrontation with police near the track where the NASCAR champion is to race Sunday. Busch was stopped Friday night after trying [...]

Here, Kitten, Kitten!

Sunday, November 13th, 2005

Remember Kitten, the radio bimbo who promised to take off an item of clothing for every University of Kentucky football win?
Yeah, me neither.
After immediately losing her sweatshirt, the Wildcats have lost more times than the Washington Generals. (Wow, a Harlem Globetrotters reference!) It got so bad that I soon lost interest, until Peak reminded [...]

Zero To Sixty In . . . Sixty Years!

Sunday, November 13th, 2005

Today is my mother’s sixtieth birthday. Born on Armistice Day in 1945, Kathleen Elizabeth “Earp” has been an accomplished flautist (but passed up a college scholarship), above average league bowler, and revered softball coach while raising a brilliant blogger . . . as well as two “other” kids. I could go on and on about [...]

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