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It’s Health Care-palooza!

By Wyatt Earp | October 10, 2010

Everyone knows there is no one in America more important than the Senate staff. So, their health is a top priority:

As millions of hardworking Americans struggle to make ends meet, Senate staffers will participate next week in a two-day orgy of back massages, organic food tastings and milk mustache photos. It’s all part of a health fair for the staffers, who enjoy some of the best health care in the country.

But there will be no shortage of vendors providing screenings for visual acuity, chiropractic health, bone density, glaucoma, PSA levels, cholesterol levels and hearing.

The Senate staffers also will be treated to seated massages, herbal teas, polarity therapy, low-fat cheese samples and organic foods. A pharmacist and health coach will be available to speak to fairgoers about their medications, nutrition and healthy lifestyle questions. Fairgoers can test themselves with brain games and bring their MP3 players to be tested for decibel levels.

The fair is open to all Senate staff, and there is no fee to attend. Not to worry, though, because a Senate aide said costs were “minimal.” Uh-huh. Exactly who will be paying these minimal costs?

Topics: Snarkasm | 8 Comments »

8 Responses to “It’s Health Care-palooza!”

  1. dragonlady474 Says:
    October 10th, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    Bunch of blood sucking leeches. Disgusting.

  2. dragonlady474 Says:
    October 10th, 2010 at 1:15 pm

    It’s even worse, in light of this…

  3. Loaded Dice in Vegas Says:
    October 10th, 2010 at 2:53 pm

    Damn all filthy politicians………

  4. dahni Says:
    October 10th, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    Ummm…. let’s try this:

    Proposed 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution:
    “Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives; and, Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States .”

  5. Robert B. Says:
    October 10th, 2010 at 5:44 pm

    I suppose Al Gore is whining about not being invited for a massage.

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    October 10th, 2010 at 6:55 pm

    DL474 – But hey, the Dems are the Party of the common man and the elderly. Uh-huh.

    LDIV – Vote. Them. All. Out.

    Dahni – Great idea, but it’ll never work.

    Robert B. – RELEASE THE CHAKRA!

  7. BobG Says:
    October 11th, 2010 at 11:28 am

    As a wise man once said:

    “There ought to be one day– just one– when there is open season on senators.”
    -Will Rogers

  8. Wyatt Earp Says:
    October 11th, 2010 at 2:31 pm

    BobG. – I’m in! Where do I sign up?

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