Your Darwin Award Winner Of The Week
By Wyatt Earp | April 24, 2009
This, my friends, is the funniest story of the week.
BLOOMINGTON, Minn. – Police said a 23-year-old man is in stable condition after he pretended that he was falling off a bridge over the Minnesota River, then actually fell off the bridge. Police got a call just before 5 a.m. Sunday from a 21-year-old man who said his friend fell off the Highway 77 bridge and into a marshy area about 30 feet below.
I’m sorry, but is it wrong for me to be giggling?
The caller said he was driving north when his friend, who he said had been drinking, told him to pull into the bridge’s emergency lane so he could urinate.
Lousy drunks. I usually just talk too loud and make crank calls to ex-girlfriends when I’m bombed.
The 23-year-old climbed to the ledge of the bridge, then looked at his friend and pretended to fall. “He then in fact fell,” reads a press release from the Bloomingtin Police Department. ()
Sources claim the man screamed “Zeppelin rules!” as he fell off the bridge.
In response to this accident, rookie Senator Al Franken has ordered all Minnesota bridges to be closed permanently. “It’s all about the children,” Franken explained. “A man this stupid obviously votes Democrat, and we need all of the votes we can get.”
Topics: Evil = Funny |
April 24th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
Sorry, but the dumbass doesn’t qualify for the Darwin award. In order to qualify, you must be killed during said stupid incident.
April 24th, 2009 at 8:38 pm
Zeppelin Rules??? ROFLMAO!
April 24th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
You know, when I was a teenager I actually got drunk and fell off of a cliff at Turkey Run state park…well…plummeted would have been a better word. Anyway, a tree broke my fall (ouch).
April 24th, 2009 at 9:29 pm
Not only does this interesting episode win this week’s Darwin Award, it also wins the Oh Brother! Moment of the Week Award.
April 24th, 2009 at 9:41 pm
Senator Al Franken has ordered all Minnesota bridges to be closed permanently. “It’s all about the children,” Franken explained.
I’m here all week, be sure to tip your waitress. You have a second career budding Wyatt.
April 24th, 2009 at 9:43 pm
Oh, and yes I know who Doofenshmirtz is. Where’s Perry?
April 24th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
He is an idiot for sure.
April 25th, 2009 at 7:23 am
FREEBIRD!!!!
April 25th, 2009 at 9:18 am
Pretty damn funny…
April 25th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
How funny would it be if they were his last words???
Zeppelin Ruuuuuuuuulllllllllllleeeeeeesssssss! Thud!
April 25th, 2009 at 4:05 pm
Was that Led Zepplin? Did he think it was his “Stairway to Heaven”?