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Nerd Robs 7-11 With Klingon Weapon

By Wyatt Earp | February 5, 2009

klingon-batlethNormally, I can spot the most bizarre stories of the day. They usually go up during my midnight post. Little did I know that others can find bloggy gold quicker than I.

Sebastian sent me this story, and quipped that he would like to hear the 911 tape from the job. I agree.

COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — A surveillance picture released by police Wednesday afternoon shows a man armed with what appears to be a small Klingon sword, holding up a 7-Eleven convenience store.

NERRRDDD!!!

That same man robbed another 7-Eleven store store a half-hour later, and remains at large, Colorado Springs police Lt. David Whitlock said.

The robber demanded money and left with an undisclosed amount.

Both clerks described the weapon as a Star Trek Klingon-type sword, called a “bat’leth.” (H/T - The Denver Channel)

Authorities in Colorado Springs stated that they were putting out an APB for any local Vulcans in an attempt to perform a mind-meld with the robbery suspect.

Star Trek nerds will be blasting my improper use of Federation nomenclature in 4 . . . 3 . . . 2 . . .

Topics: WTF? |

14 Responses to “Nerd Robs 7-11 With Klingon Weapon”

  1. Marvin Says:
    February 5th, 2009 at 1:58 am

    The nerd uses a toy to rob two stores!!

  2. USA_Admiral Says:
    February 5th, 2009 at 5:35 am

    We are really de-evolving rather quickly.

  3. Alan B Says:
    February 5th, 2009 at 6:58 am

    In England, we have a tradition of small corner shops (has “Open All Hours” with the late Ronney Barker come over your side?). They are usually run by a family, often Indian, keep late hours and provide a real service to the neighbourhood. There was a story recently of an attempted robbery by two yobbos (do you have the term?) armed with long knives. The husband was wounded but the wife fought them off with a broom A really determined lady!

    The attitude is, “How dare you! We’ve worked hard to make this store work. Get out!”

  4. Kim Says:
    February 5th, 2009 at 7:01 am

    A Vulcan would not perform a mind-meld without the consent of the other unless it were a life-and-death situation.

    A Betazed however would be able to read minds from a mile away.

    (Star Trek geek.)

  5. ET Says:
    February 5th, 2009 at 8:59 am

    If only we hadn’t been forced to turn in our phazers during the last round-up.

  6. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    February 5th, 2009 at 11:04 am

    Qapla’!!

    /snark

    ROFLMAO!!

  7. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    February 5th, 2009 at 11:05 am

    *raises hand* yeah… also a Star Trek geek heh..

  8. kaveman Says:
    February 5th, 2009 at 11:17 am

    Damnit Spock, I’m a doctor not a robber!

    I’m man enough to admit I still have a pair of “NCC-1701 underoos.”

    Chicks dig ‘em.

  9. burger714 Says:
    February 5th, 2009 at 11:20 am

    I think there were more than one Nerd in this story.

    Both clerks described the weapon as a Star Trek Klingon-type sword, called a “bat’leth.”

    Response from Officer taking the report “ehhhh What?”

  10. Doghouse Says:
    February 5th, 2009 at 11:39 am

    If you make Klingon swords illegal, only illegal Klingons will have swords.

  11. Wyatt Earp Says:
    February 5th, 2009 at 11:57 am

    Marvin - Not a bad idea . . . until the po-po shoots you, that is.

    Admiral - Or evolving . . . into Klingons.

    Alan B - Good for her! Shows she has moxie!

    Kim - Wow. Just wow. :)

    ET - Thank you, President Obama!

    Smite - Oh, for God’s sake!

    Kaveman - Nerd chicks are also usually easy to bed. Or so I’ve heard.

    Burger714 - That would have been my response . . . before kicking the clerk in his asteroids.

    Doghouse - Bawahahahahahahaha!!!

  12. BobG Says:
    February 5th, 2009 at 2:23 pm

    A bat’leth is one of the stupidest imaginary weapons I have ever seen; if some idiot threatened me with one of those he would be wearing it to the proctologist’s office.

  13. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    February 5th, 2009 at 2:32 pm

    if some idiot threatened me with one of those things, he’d better “shields up” and hope it’ll stop a .45 :)

  14. Wyatt Earp Says:
    February 6th, 2009 at 6:36 pm

    BobG - “It was a million-to-one shot, doc. A million-to-one!” - Frank Costanza

    Smite - Arm phasers!

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