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Obesity Is Now A National Security Threat

By Wyatt Earp | December 13, 2010

So says Michelle Obama, the fattest First Lady in a generation.

I admire Moochelle for tackling childhood obesity. I really do. I would admire her much more if she embraced her food Nazi initiative while actually leading by example. Lefty pundits gush over her manly, muscly arms, but ignore her gigantic ass.

First lady Michelle Obama plans to warn in remarks Monday that the nation is seeing “a groundswell of support” for curbing childhood obesity, and she is unveiling new ammunition from current and retired military leaders.

“Military leaders … tell us that when more than one in four young people are unqualified for military service because of their weight,” the first lady says in the prepared remarks, “childhood obesity isn’t just a public health threat, it’s not just an economic threat, it’s a national security threat as well.”

How ironic is it that someone named Obama is talking about a national security threat? The real national security threat in this country is not Ring Dings. It’s Obama’s refusal to address Iran’s nuclear program, his refusal to address North Korea’s attacks, and his refusal to play-to-win in Afghanistan. I mean, this is an administration that will not use the term “”

I’m sorry, but after statements like these, I have to wonder if Moochelle is smoking crack or just in a Twinkie-induce sugar coma.

Topics: Snarkasm | 23 Comments »

23 Responses to “Obesity Is Now A National Security Threat”

  1. Wes S. Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 1:32 pm

    Time for another Gadsden Flag parody.

    In addition to “Don’t Touch My Junk,” we need one reading “Mind your own f**kin’ business.”

  2. Dr. Evil Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 1:33 pm

    If the kids are too fat for military service than just make bigger tanks and cockpits! Simple ‘Nuff!

    But agreed, I look at the little chubbers playing in my neighborhood and it bothers me. I don’t want to let them pet my doggies fearing they may think it is a meal. Just get them off their asses and the video games and get them outside.

    Playing Madden on Wii is NOT an acceptable form of exercise you lazy, bloated, tonz’o'fun misfits!

  3. Fenway_Nation Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 1:40 pm

    Is this thread and the last thread related? Is whatshername pivarnick going to be shipped off the Gitmo along with Micheal Moore and Sandy Berger?

  4. Jon Brooks Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    I found a listening device in my cheese cake the other day. I figure it filled my daily nutrional requirments for Silicon, Germanium and Selenium.

  5. C/A Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 3:46 pm

    Don’t worry, help is on the way:

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 4:41 pm

    Wes S. – It gets worse. The Obama administration wants to control your children’s vending machines.

    Dr. Evil – “lazy, bloated, tonz’o’fun misfits!” . . . Hey! I’m right here!

    Fenway – Gitmo Fat Camp. That’s an awesome idea!

    Jon – Gonna be rough going through the pipes, though.

    Captain – Maybe he can smash Moochelle’s ass into shape with his hammer?

  7. JT Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 5:41 pm

    Wyatt – I’m confident that you’ll blog about a normal person tomorrow.

    I guess if Thor came here and became a blacksmith, it would be a pretty boring movie.

  8. Rick Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    Thor would need a bigger hammer

  9. RT Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 6:04 pm

    Does that mean I’m on the no-fly list?

  10. fozzy Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 6:11 pm

    They’re going after the childhood obesity thing all wrong. When I was growing up, my highschool caf served perogies, pizza and hotdogs and the vending machines were full of chips, chocolate and pop. (Also a designated smoking area! In a school!!) It’s not what the kids are eating that makes them chunky, it’s their lifestyle. I guess it’s just easier to regulate what kids can eat at school than to change society.

    o/t How do I get an avatar? I wants one.

  11. Lou Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 6:13 pm

    Ever heard of “Go outside and play”?

    Childhood obesity is a problem. However, government isn’t the solution. Government is NEVER the solution to a problem.

    : I must be Public Enemy #1

  12. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 6:18 pm

    JT – Yeah, I’ll see what I can do, but all of the recent newsmakers are idiots.

    Rick – And a giant anvil.

    RT – Just the Ocassional Fly List.

    Fozzy – Agreed. And go here to get an avatar.

    Lou – I spent my childhood outside playing. My 9-year old is out all the time playing in the backyard. Videogames are an occasional activity.

  13. Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 7:24 pm

    I think whenever you overplay your hand and over-politicize an issue it tends to get kind of funny and sometimes downright silly; which is the inspiration for this video “Michelle Obama warns: Beware of Weapons of Mass Consumption!”:

  14. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 7:56 pm

    Fozzy – Terrific choice!

  15. Ingineer66 Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 8:13 pm

    She may be on to something, I mean if we end up with an army that looks like those fat belly guys that Sadam had marching around during Desert Shield we will be in serious trouble.

  16. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    Ingineer66 – No worries. Our terminator/cylon army is almost complete.

  17. Watuschski Says:
    December 13th, 2010 at 9:57 pm

    The Imam Obama is screwed and getting more screweder every day.

  18. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 14th, 2010 at 1:00 am

    Watuschski – And we still have two more years of this nitwit.

  19. richard mcenroe Says:
    December 14th, 2010 at 12:02 pm

    MIchelle already explained to you losers that lobster IS a diet food…

  20. dragonlady474 Says:
    December 14th, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    Michelle Obama is a Weapon of mass construction = She’s a real piece of work.

  21. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 15th, 2010 at 12:37 pm

    Richard – Sweet, because I love lobster. Can’t afford it, but I love it!

    DL474 – She’s a piece of something.

  22. Dusrtvet Says:
    December 15th, 2010 at 12:39 pm

    Obesity Is Now A National Security Threat

    Quick the FBI needs to place a federal Arrest Warrant for Michael Moore!!!!!!

  23. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 15th, 2010 at 12:48 pm

    Dusrtvt – Dead or alive!