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Food Nazis Invade PA Schools

By Wyatt Earp | November 9, 2010

Just when you thought it was safe to enter a Pennsylvania public school, the food Nazis have goose stepped in. It’s a veritable assault on sugar. It’s a blitzkrieg on baked goods. It’s a holocaust against mallomars.

Because, you know, this is the fight we should be waging. Not the rampant bullying, the constant threats of violence, or the students who are better armed than the local police department. No, we need to remain vigilant against Twinkies!

The Pennsylvania State Board of Education expects to vote this spring on new nutrition guidelines for food served at school, said Adam Schott, the board’s executive director. Districts would have to comply by fall 2012, he said. The proposed rules came about through an ongoing review process.

The rules would limit the number of parties to one classroom birthday celebration a month, and no more than three holiday parties a year. The state could withhold or rescind state and federal reimbursements for districts that don’t comply. The state could revoke approval for vending machines from offending districts.

So freedom dies at the candy counter now? I thought we lived in America.

Topics: Duct Tape Advisory | 16 Comments »

16 Responses to “Food Nazis Invade PA Schools”

  1. dragonlady474 Says:
    November 9th, 2010 at 7:57 pm

    Are you kidding me?? What’s next? Are they going to start weighing the kids before each semester starts and then docking funds for weight gained?

  2. RT Says:
    November 9th, 2010 at 8:36 pm

    We aren’t allowed to sell anything or give anything to the kids if sugar is one of the first three ingredients.

    I keep lollipops and mini-snickers and the like in a cabinet in one of my classrooms.

    I had a parent thank me at back to school night for giving candy to the kids.


  3. bob (either orr) Says:
    November 9th, 2010 at 9:03 pm

    My boss, who teaches 5th grade, concurs, RT.

  4. Kim Says:
    November 9th, 2010 at 9:14 pm

    The school lunches I agree need to be kept healthy. Following basic nutritional guidelines for MEALS shouold be a given.

    However the rest of it should be up to the classrooms. One teacher I know keeps a box of “rewards” filled with candy and some cheap toys from Dollar Tree. She lets the child choose what the child wants as a reward.

    Of course the school my children go to is pretty strict about snacks, candy, treats, etc. Maybe I should talk to the teacher about that?

  5. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    November 9th, 2010 at 9:16 pm

    My kid’s class forfeits recess to have Movie Matinee on Fridays. The teacher provides ice cream and chips. I make M&M cookies, brownies or cupcakes. When pressed for time, I send in a box of sugar cubes. The kids LOVE me!!!! It’s so much better to be the ‘cool mom’ than to fret about the challenges of keeping the kids focused on healthy food.

  6. Rick Says:
    November 9th, 2010 at 9:29 pm

    The madness never ends

  7. Wes S. Says:
    November 9th, 2010 at 10:03 pm


  8. AJ Lynch Says:
    November 9th, 2010 at 10:26 pm

    Eh more people doing something they were not hired to do. God forbid they focus on teaching the students. I hope Corbett fires all of them.

  9. Wyatt Earp Says:
    November 10th, 2010 at 12:12 am

    DL474 – My two oldest would set the curve. They eat and eat and still lose weight.

    RT – Comrade Administrator deemed sugar as Yankee Poison?

    Bob – Stick it to the man!

    Kim – Three words: Goat milk candy!

    Mrs. Crankipants – Sugar cubes?

    Rick – And it’s only going to get worse.

    Wes S. – The state will decide your caloric intake. We have always been at war with Eurasia.

    AJ – Christie-ize them!

  10. Ferrell Gummitt Says:
    November 10th, 2010 at 12:54 am

    “I thought we lived in America.”

    We do Wyatt however, this is an America of “change”. Now your kid is verboten from eating Happy Meals and Mallomars but can look and download all of the hardcore pornography their little hearts desire and not get in any trouble whatsoever.

    Resistance is futile.

  11. Kim Says:
    November 10th, 2010 at 9:12 am

    Mrs. C. – A lot of schools have banned homemade products. If you send something it has to be store bought. This goes for girl scouts as well.

    Wyatt – It’s East Asia. Shh! And don’t forget, 2+2=5.

  12. USAdmiral Says:
    November 10th, 2010 at 9:13 am

    It is getting ridiculous.

  13. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    November 10th, 2010 at 9:56 am

    I hear San Francisco is trying to ban Happy Meals. Figures.

    It makes sense, there are a lot of crazies out there.

    Completely off topic- my son’s classroom has a full kitchen in it. Once a month, the class goes to a grocery store with a set amount of money to celebrate the birthdays in the class that month. They have to figure out what ingredients are needed to make the cakes, and are taught to look for sale items. If cake mixes are on sale, they can spring for fancier candles. They each have a small clipboard to add up what they spent (math) and when it’s time to bake, the teacher uses the opportunity to talk about fractions. They also look at the cost per serving compared to a similar cake in the store’s bakery. I think it’s terrific how she uses a birthday and incorporates a life skill like managing money and a math lesson. If the Food Nazis have their way, this tradition will end, which would be a shame, because the kids learn and they get to eat cake!

  14. kaveman Says:
    November 10th, 2010 at 11:23 am

    When I was in middle school, we used to make home made treats and sell them at school.

    Then we learned to sell weed as well and candy sales went through the roof!


  15. Wyatt Earp Says:
    November 10th, 2010 at 12:39 pm

    Ferrell – You can only download the pron if you work for the government – and view it on government time.

    USAdmiral – I think we’re past ridiculous now.

    Kaveman – I think they start that in California kindergartens now.

  16. Bob G. Says:
    November 10th, 2010 at 6:24 pm

    Geezus…and to think whem I was growing up in Phillty, I used to walk to school past those corner five & dimes, grab a nickel’s worth of candy and feed myself AND a lot of classmates…LOL
    Not to mention the SCHOOL sold chocolate cookies for RECESS!

    Then again, we also took COMPASSES to school for math class…!
    And we played DODGE BALL and TAG..on CONCRETE.
    How in God’s name DID we ever survive?