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Tacoma Man Gets “Wood”

By Wyatt Earp | March 4, 2010

How do you know when you have found the right woman? Well, the first clue is that she lets you tie her to a tree. The second clue is that .

TACOMA, Wash. – Several police officers responded to a 911 report of a naked woman tied to a tree in Point Defiance Park in Tacoma. Spokesman Mark Fulghum told The News Tribune officers talked with the woman and a man Tuesday in the Owen Beach area and determined it was a “consensual rendezvous.”

No one was arrested.

Okay, there has to be some rational explanation for this. Let’s see . . . maybe he thought she was a witch and was trying to burn her? No? Um, how about he thought she was a hippie and was helping her to save the tree?

Eh, I got nothin’. Feel free to submit your plausible explanations in the comments section.

Topics: WTF? | 15 Comments »

15 Responses to “Tacoma Man Gets “Wood””

  1. Pops Says:
    March 4th, 2010 at 7:52 pm

    He did not want her running around nude, because there are many wierdos in the woods.

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    March 4th, 2010 at 7:53 pm

    Pops – Yeah, God forbid she runs into some whacko.

  3. Ingineer66 Says:
    March 4th, 2010 at 8:40 pm

    And I thought those stories on the internet were just made up.

  4. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    March 4th, 2010 at 9:24 pm

    He was a traveling rope salesman, and he was demonstrating his wares to an interested customer. Happens to me all the time.

  5. XBradTC Says:
    March 4th, 2010 at 9:33 pm

    Trying to stop logging?

  6. Earl Says:
    March 4th, 2010 at 9:45 pm

    You see why I don’t read the local paper, and why my wife frowns on me walking in Point Defiance alone.

  7. Jon Brooks Says:
    March 4th, 2010 at 11:16 pm

    Would she have been cheating on her partner if she had asked the cops to cuff her? Inquiring minds want to know.

    Maybe she was to be a wiccan sacrifice to Techno Viking?

  8. Mike47 Says:
    March 4th, 2010 at 11:32 pm

    He is a tree-hugger, and this is the only way she could get him to pay attention to her.

  9. Wyatt Earp Says:
    March 5th, 2010 at 8:50 am

    Ingineer66 – You can’t make up a story like this.

    Mrs. Crankipants – Wow, that’s hot.

    XBradTC – That’s what she said.

    Earl – Bring a laptop if you do and send me an e-mail if you get tied up. I’ll send the Cavalry.

    Jon – Techno Viking is pleased with the sacrifice.

    Mike47 – Lousy hippies.

  10. Dennis Petty, aka MUD Says:
    March 5th, 2010 at 9:55 am

    Isn’t that a punch line to a joke? A knight was riding through the woods and he spies a nude woman tied to a tree. He rides up and she asks for help as she had been robbed of all her earthly possessions. The knight gets off his horse and says, “This just isn’t your day.”

  11. USAdmiral Says:
    March 5th, 2010 at 10:49 am

    Did who ever attach her to the tree forget about her?

    Some people just more exciting lives I guess.

  12. Bobby Says:
    March 5th, 2010 at 12:35 pm

    Little known fact…. King Kong actually survived his fall from the ESB and retired to Point Defiance Park. A small group of people know this rumor and occasionally try to lure him out of hiding.

  13. Crusty Says:
    March 5th, 2010 at 12:40 pm

    Maybe she is a lady leprechaun and he went to get a shovel. Fell for that ribbon around all the trees too many times. No clothes no ribbons

  14. Veeshir Says:
    March 5th, 2010 at 4:32 pm

    Performance art gone horribly right?

  15. Wyatt Earp Says:
    March 6th, 2010 at 10:28 am

    MUD – Nice one!

    USAdmiral – Believe me, if a woman asked me to tie her to a tree, I would not forget about her.

    Bobby – Where’s Jessica Lange when you need her?

    Crusty – But an exposed “pot o’ gold.”

    Veeshir – Let’s hope.