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The SYLG News Translator

By Wyatt Earp | December 29, 2009

It’s time for another edition of the SYLG News Translator. The news story is in italics, and my spot-on translation is in bold. Enjoy!

BEIJING – A shopping centre in China has opened a car park that offers women drivers bigger-than-normal parking spaces to accommodate what it sees as their special needs.

A Chinese shopping center offers women more than enough space to park their cars without the inevitable demolition of surrounding vehicles.

Wang Zheng, an official at the Wanxiang Tiancheng shopping centre in Hebei province’s Shijiazhuang city, told AFP Monday the women-only parking lot aimed to address women’s “strong sense of colour and different sense of distance.”

Wang Zheng told AFP that the spaces were necessary to address women’s different sense of depth perception and terrible sense of driving.

The spaces are “one metre wider than normal parking spaces,” Wang said, adding that the mall had “installed signs and security monitoring equipment that corresponded more to women’s needs.” (H/T – )

The spaces are large enough to accommodate the dual problem of these drivers being both Chinese and female. It also offers video surveillance to allow men the opportunity to laugh at the drivers again and again.

Topics: News Translator | 16 Comments »

16 Responses to “The SYLG News Translator”

  1. Old NFO Says:
    December 29th, 2009 at 8:38 pm

    Ah…er…um… yeah, no comment seems about right… sigh…

  2. Ralph Short Says:
    December 29th, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    My only hope is this will not come west to the USA. I am already sick and tired of people parking in the handicap spaces, and then leaping out of their vehicles to purchase whatever. Most of them don’t even have a handicap plate, they just have this thing hanging from their rear view mirror. Guaranteed, if they were actually inspected it would be from someone who died a decade or more ago.

  3. RT Says:
    December 29th, 2009 at 9:32 pm

    Does this mean we can get rid of the parking for people with kids? My mom did fine without those spots.

    Btw., some women should not be allowed to drive anything larger than a Yugo. If you can’t park an SUV, then you shouldn’t be driving one. I drive a smaller-sized SUV for a reason…don’t think I can handle a larger one.

    Oh…and that article sooooooooooo feeds into the Asian driving stereotype without them knowing it. Duh.

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 29th, 2009 at 9:53 pm

    Oldd NFO – Well, it’s been a few days since I angered my female readers, so . . .

    Ralph – It’s my greatest pleasure: Slamming someone for parking in a handicap spot without permission.

    RT – I do, too. Must be a Jersey thing, since I don’t see them here.

  5. Bill R. Says:
    December 29th, 2009 at 11:21 pm

    When I was a GI, there was a running joke that you could always tell who was married to asian women by the dented up (relatively) new cars in the driveway in base housing. Full disclosure: My wife is Korean.

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 29th, 2009 at 11:26 pm

    Bill R. – That’s awesome!

  7. Jon Brooks Says:
    December 29th, 2009 at 11:37 pm

    No tickee..No parkee.

  8. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    December 30th, 2009 at 6:49 am

    I laughed that the shopping center’s spokesperson’s name was Wang.

    BTW- it’s not just the ladies who are poor drivers, I worked with a guy that wrecked so many cars that his insurance went through the roof. He then bought a used Vespa that was destroyed when his garage caught on fire.

  9. GroovyVic Says:
    December 30th, 2009 at 7:45 am

    I resent this! I drive a Tahoe and can park where ever I damn well please.

    AND! The only time the Tahoe has been in an accident was when my husband, A MAN, was driving it.

  10. USAdmiral Says:
    December 30th, 2009 at 8:25 am

    I need to get me one of these news translators. The news just seems to make little sense today.

  11. C/A Says:
    December 30th, 2009 at 11:02 am

    Don’t get me started…

  12. Eric Says:
    December 30th, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    Hatemail of the week in 3…2…1…go

  13. Loaded Dice in Vegas Says:
    December 30th, 2009 at 1:08 pm

    If you want to see bad drivers come to Vegas. California Asians (license plates) are the absolute worst.

  14. Ingineer66 Says:
    December 30th, 2009 at 2:34 pm

    I saw this story earlier in the week and was compelled to tell my wife about the special needs of women drivers. And LDiV I can backup your statement. The stereotype about Asian drivers particularly females is alive and well in California.

  15. Ingineer66 Says:
    December 30th, 2009 at 2:35 pm

    PS as for all the handicap placards out there. Being a fat slob is not a handicap, you should park further from the store and walk a little and then maybe you wouldn’t be so fat. Sorry a small pet peave there.

  16. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 30th, 2009 at 7:54 pm

    Jon – Well played, sir.

    Mrs. Crankipants – His nickname? Lucky.

    GroovyVic – Way to throw your husband under the bus Tahoe.

    USAdmiral – I’ll sell one to you for the low, low price of $19.99.

    Captain – A rear quarter panel comes to mind.

    Eric – Figured it would be here already.

    LDIV – Yeah, Asian hippies are brutal.

    Ingineer66 – Hey, I don’t park there!