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John Edwards: One Fertile Bastard

By Wyatt Earp | August 14, 2009

john edwards compactGood grief, this guy makes me look like a rank amateur!

If Elizabeth Edwards has any sense, she should pull a Jenny Sanford – pack up and leave her husband right away. Of course, Elizabeth should probably castrate John before packing away her fingernail clippers, but that’s her choice.

And so, more than a year after Silky lied his ass off on ABC about the baby not being his, he’s finally ready to come clean. How appropriate that the Enquirer, which dragged big media to this story kicking and screaming, apparently forced the final revelation with yesterday’s report on a secret DNA test confirming paternity. WRAL TV in North Carolina delivers the coup de grace:

Sources have told WRAL News that they expect former U.S. Sen. John Edwards to admit that he is the father of his former mistress’ 18-month-old daughter.

Edwards, a two-time Democratic presidential candidate, confessed last August to having an affair with Rielle Hunter, who served as a videographer on Edwards’ 2008 campaign. He has denied fathering her daughter, saying his relationship with Hunter ended before the child was conceived…

A federal grand jury is investigating whether Edwards’ campaign funds were illegally paid to Hunter to keep quiet about the affair… (H/THot Air)

Ya know, if Edwards plays his cards right, this could propel him to super-stardom within the Democrat community.

Oh wait a minute. Democrats only worship politicians who spill their seed on an intern’s dress. My bad.

Topics: Evil = Funny | 7 Comments »

7 Responses to “John Edwards: One Fertile Bastard”

  1. Jon Brooks Says:
    August 14th, 2009 at 8:10 am

    Nail clippers Wyatt!? Ouch!

    You are right this will propel him to stardom among liberals. Not only can he lie with the best but he can sire bastards…swoooon!! Maybe to really establish his new liberal creds he and rielle can have an abortion on stage, of course opening night would be closing night too, if’n ya know what I mean. Like Daffy duck rehearsing for his dynamite swallowing act.

    Where oh where oh where do they get these people?????

    Good news though Arlan Sphincter is trailing in the polls..YAHH!!!

  2. MeToo Says:
    August 14th, 2009 at 10:25 am

    This guy is a waste of good air! Elizabeth needs to kick him to the curb by way of his nether-regions.

  3. proof Says:
    August 14th, 2009 at 11:19 am

    Couldn’t happen to a nicer SOB!
    Now why can’t I get “I feel pretty” out of my head?

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    August 14th, 2009 at 1:07 pm

    Jon – I love that cartoon! Daffy Duck is my all-time favorite cartoon character . . . after Nancy Pelosi.

    MeToo – Right in the junk.

    Proof – Because he is just so damned handsome!

  5. Albert Says:
    August 14th, 2009 at 2:19 pm

    Is the info-mercial world still looking for a replacement for Billy Mays? John Edwards may still be able to sell some products…

  6. Linda Says:
    August 14th, 2009 at 8:55 pm

    Having read both of Elizabeth Edwards’ books and feeling that she is a deep-down really good person who really went to the mat, obviously risking and very soon no doubt losing the rest of her life through taking hormones to replace a son for John after Wade died, I can’t believe what kind of an idiot skank John has been by spreading his “seed” around, creating a half-sister to Elizabeth’s children!

    All Elizabeth cares about is family and her children and now she has to “live” knowing that she is dying and that her children will then be subjected to the whore who went after her husband and her bastard child! Not that John will ever marry her! No, he will go after someone younger and a lot more attractive than that ugly woman!

  7. Art Says:
    August 15th, 2009 at 1:20 am

    Edwards is a white Jesse Jackson: lots of lies and love children.