By Wyatt Earp | April 22, 2009
What. The. Frak?
Through the misty early morning sunlight dappling a Devon field, a vision from the primeval past lumbers into view.
The beast with its shaggy, russet-tinged coat, powerful shoulders and lyre-shaped horns could have stepped straight from a prehistoric cave painting.
They’re talking about Rosie O’Donnell, right? I thought this was an article about Nazi cows, not nutcase cows!
The vision is a creature of which even Julius Caesar was in awe: Bos primigenius, the aurochs, fearsome wild ancestor of all today’s domestic cattle, immortalized tens of thousands of years ago in ochre and charcoal in the Great Hall of the Bulls at Lascaux in southwest France.
But this herd of 13 bulls, cows and calves known as Heck cattle is the product of Nazi genetic engineering, an attempt to reintroduce the extinct aurochs, the last of which died of old age in a Polish forest nearly four centuries ago.
These Nazi cows can be identified by their sour milk, their rambling anti-Semitic comments, and their allegiance to Germany during World Cup games.
The cattle have been imported into Britain for the first time by Derek Gow, a conservationist who is also at the forefront of attempts to reintroduce the beaver. (H/T – FOXNews)
Heh, heh, “introduce the beaver.”
How funny is it that a conservationalist (read: a hippie) is bringing Nazi cows to Great Britain? It’s probably a stealth insurrection to avenge World War II. Alan B, get out while you still can!