Archive for February, 2009
« Previous Entries Next Entries »Nurses Fired For Taking Photos Of Patient
Thursday, February 26th, 2009This story is both creepy and outrageous at the same time. And believe it or not, I don’t think it’s all that funny. I must be maturing. LAKE GENEVA, Wis. — Nurses accused of photographing a patient and posting the pictures on the Internet have been fired. The investigation started with an anonymous call from [...]
Howard Stern Lickspittle Arrested
Thursday, February 26th, 2009I have to admit that I don’t really miss Stern’s show. It was nice when it was on the regular airwaves, but he lost me when he went to Sirius Satellite. I don’t pay for radio – it’s like paying for sex. Either way, it is great that this tool got locked up. I’ve always [...]
Philadelphia Police Officer Shot, Suspect Killed
Thursday, February 26th, 2009The officer is reportedly in stable condition. The criminal was shot and killed by police. I have a question for Commissioner Ramsey: Do you think you should fast-track our issuance of .45-caliber Glocks now, or would you rather hold them up while you and the rest of the bosses work out “procedural differences?” I anxiously [...]
A Field Trip That Can Really Bug You
Thursday, February 26th, 2009I spent yesterday morning attending a class field trip with my five-year old son Erik. The trip was to Steve’s Bug-Off and Insectarium – a three-story museum that contains live insects and arachnids, static presentations, and other cool creepy crawlies. The irony? Steve’s Bug Off is an exterminating company. Well, I guess their motto is [...]
Adriana Lima: Off The Market
Thursday, February 26th, 2009Dammit, she said she only had eyes for me! Most NBA stars could have any woman they want, but Marko Jaric had to go and take Adriana Lima from single men everywhere. It could have been worse: She could have married Kobe “Date Rape” Bryant. The couple eloped in a small private ceremony on Valentines [...]
Hate Mail O’ The Week
Wednesday, February 25th, 2009Oh, it’s always funny when I post about that racist scumbag Al Sharpton. And it’s not because he is such a fat, lazy, slovenly easy target, either. It’s because his supporters come out of the woodwork – and the unemployment lines – to spread some of that “Hope and change” my way. This piece of [...]
Sharpton: Cartoon Apology Not Enough
Wednesday, February 25th, 2009Oh Sharpton, just die already, you racist piece of garbage. Sorry, but I am sick of this man and his monkey business. Yeah, monkey business. Is that racist, too, you troglodyte? NEW YORK — Good, but not enough, the Rev. Al Sharpton said in response to New York Post Chairman Rupert Murdoch’s apology for a [...]
Humpday History Highlight
Wednesday, February 25th, 2009Apparently, the Adams family was as bizarre as the family of television lore. February 25, 1828 – John Quincy Adams’ Son Marries Relative On this day in 1828, John Adams, son of President John Quincy Adams, marries his first cousin and inadvertently follows a pattern of keeping marriages “within the family.” John Adams’ grandfather, President [...]
Maine Freaks Out Over Topless Cafe
Wednesday, February 25th, 2009Oh, what’s the big deal? It’s not like the waitresses are Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins! By the way, how great a plot line would this have been for Friends? VASSALBORO, Maine – Cup size has more than one meaning at a new central Maine coffeehouse. Servers are topless at the Grand View Topless Coffee [...]
Missing Teacher Found With Student
Wednesday, February 25th, 2009Lovely. Just lovely. Will someone please answer these two questions for me? 1. What the Hell has become of our education system, and why are teachers – a lot of them female – starting romantic relationships with their students? 2. Where the Hell were these teachers when I was in high school? Yeah, Ms. Dwyer [...]
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