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NJ Idiots Name Son “Adolf Hitler Campbell”

By Wyatt Earp | December 18, 2008

<i>What the Hell were they thinking?</i>

What the Hell were they thinking?

Oh wait, it gets better. These model citizens are outraged because a supermarket would not put their son’s name on a birthday cake!

Eh, what? Break out the duct tape, kids. You’ll need it after reading this rubbish.

The Campbells thought their kids were just like everyone else’s.

“I just went to get a cake for my kid and it became a circus of racism,” said Heath Campbell.

But when Heath and Deborah Campbell went to the ShopRite in Greenwich Township, New Jersey, the store refused to put their son’s name, Adolf Hitler Campbell, on the cake.

“This is America! They violated the rights of my son! A name is a name!” said Heath Campbell.

And here comes the lawsuit, and a sure pay day for these imbeciles. I swear, doctors and nurses should have veto power for situations like this. Adolf Hitler Campbell. Are you kidding me?

Their daughter’s are named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and HonsLynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, which are names also with ties to Nazi Germany.

Heath has Nazi memorabilia and tattoos on his arm — just below Pebbles Flintstones and Winnie the Pooh. The couple said they’re neither members of the Aryan Nation nor fans of Hitler’s atrocities.

Oh no, they just have Nazi memorabilia because it’s “kitschy.” They certainly don’t look like historical scholars to me.

“He did this stuff, yeah, but that was in the past. America had slavery and everything else,” said Deborah Campbell.

The Campbells claim they simply like the names, but they admit they’ve been harassed since word of the cake issue got out. (H/T - NBC Philadelphia)

Ya think??? Excuse me, Heath, but saying something like, “You named your child Adolf Hitler???” is not harassment. It’s a plea for you and your wife to invoke some damned common sense. This child has to live with this name for the rest of his life because his parents are lunatics. Good job, jerkass!

It truly pains me that I am only separated from these nimrods by a river. Maybe Pennsylvania should put up a 50-foot wall, replete with machine gun nests to keep the Jersey folks at bay?

Topics: WTF? |

24 Responses to “NJ Idiots Name Son “Adolf Hitler Campbell””

  1. RT Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 12:54 am

    I used to live in a town a few miles from theirs. Uh. It’s a “special” part of Jersey.

    So, I’m not allowed over the bridge?

    That is a pretty ass-stupid name for a kid. I wonder if that kind of parenting can be deemed neglect or something by the powers that be.


  2. Moe Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 12:59 am

    Jersey is the armpit of the eastern seaboard.

  3. JumpOut Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 1:49 am

    If there were ever two good candidates for a tasering, here they are.

  4. USA_Admiral Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 4:39 am

    Nothing like ruining your kids for the rest of their lives, and I thought Marvin was a bad name.

  5. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 6:26 am

    Please, please, please put up a wall.

  6. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 6:26 am

    Please, please, please put up a wall.

  7. Ky Person Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 6:42 am

    Idiots, total idiots. I hope their children grow up to hate them.

  8. Alan B Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 7:04 am

    I think the parents are sad attention seakers to say the least but it is in situations like this where I find my brothers and sisters across the pond to be at their most interesting!

    You are all in favour of free speech, right? The US Constitution and all that good stuff. You scream blue murder about someone not being able to fly The Flag on his office computer (along with the skull and crossbones). But you want to taser the parents and put up a 50 foot wall with machine gun nests when the parents exercise THEIR constitutional right of freedom of speech to call their child what THEY want rather than what YOU want.

    Now, I know that people are shooting off and no one here is going to go out and actually taser them.

    BUT, do they not have as much right to be stupid prats as you have?

  9. USA_Admiral Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 7:24 am

    Alan B;
    I was just exercising my right to free speech by rendering the opinion that they were total and complete idiots for this act.

  10. Dorkelina Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 7:30 am

    Guess Alan’s from the side of the pond where they don’t have humor.

    Or maybe Wyatt really IS building a wall between PA and NJ!

    Looks like being a stupid prat isn’t just an American trait.

  11. Dano Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 8:52 am

    Thought we tried to build a wall but the pollution ate it…

  12. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 9:14 am

    RT - It is completely inconsiderate of the child’s feelings. Imagine how he will explain his “creative” name to his Jewish girlfriend in 20 years.

    Moe - Don’t forget Tax-achusetts!

    JumpOut - Do we still tar and feather folks?

    Admiral - Careful. There is a Marvin who comments here frequently.

    Mrs. Crankipants - I just need to find a couple of strong backs.

    KY Person - Sadly, they’ll be brainwashed into thinking the names are terrific.

    Alan B - Wow, considering that diatribe, you sound more like someone from France, than the United Kingdom.

    Maybe you missed the point. Okay, you definitely missed the point. The problem I have is not with their atrocious choice of a name. The problem I have is their utter surprise that the supermarket would not put the same on a birthday cake. It is totally inappropriate, and the Campbells should kn ow that.

    Oh, and about the 50-foot wall comment, you may need to read this:

    sar·casm (särkzm)


    1. A cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound.
    2. A form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule.


    Admiral - Haven’t you heard? It’s not okay for us to utilize our right to free speech if it is percieved as inappropriate from folks who do not live here.

    Dorkelina - Hell, we can’t even get a border fence between the southwest and Mexico. Like I’ll be able to get a PA/NJ fence built???

    Dano - And the rats. Don’t for get the rats!

  13. Diller Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 9:20 am

    Poor kid, will never be asked to attend a Bar Mitzvah,or enjoy a Kosher dill.

  14. -->Fiar | Conservative Satire --> Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 10:18 am

    I’m all for the wall, but my idea has always been to let Philadelphia fall into the river with the rest of NJ, so obviously the wall would be on the north, west, and south of the city.

    I guess that wouldn’t be much help to you, but it would be a big help to me.

  15. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 11:40 am

    Diller - I love a good Kosher dill!

    Fiar - Just give me some time to clear out before the wall is built.

  16. Doghouse Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 12:06 pm

    I had trouble figuring out which one in the picture was the guy.

  17. Moe Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    Moe - Don’t forget Tax-achusetts!

    I’ll deal with a mass-hole over a jersey douchebag anyday of the week!

  18. Rick Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 1:33 pm

    I still say parents that give their children such names nedd to get a physciatric exam. And possible lobotomy.

  19. Alan B Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 3:32 pm

    Frontier Marshall

    I am offended, sir, and demand satisfaction! (Fisticuffs outside the OK Saloon - Marquis of Queensbury Rules)

    I, sir, am an Englishman, born and bread (sorry, bred). I do not knowingly (or willingly) have a drop of French blood in my body.

    (Not that I am against the French. They play proper football and we had a cracking good match with them at Waterloo when a combined English/Prussian team beat the French all stars.)

    You have proposed a good word - sarcasm which, for some reason, you spell “särkzm” - ah well, I suppose this comes in the category of colour/color; grey/gray.

    I have another word for you:

    “tongue in cheek” (Drat! That’s 3 words:)

    “tongue-in-cheek” (Fixed it)

    Ironic, slyly humorous (Concise Oxford Dictionary, 9th Edition).

    England and America are two countries separated by a common language.
    –George Bernard Shaw (an Irishman)

  20. Alan B Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 3:45 pm

    USA_Admiral said to me:
    “I was just exercising my right to free speech by rendering the opinion that they were total and complete idiots for this act.”

    Actually, I concur with your admirable sentiments!

    (Just to show that while, according to Dorkelina, I am from the side of the pond where they don’t have humor, I do at least have puns.)

    “Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.” — Fred Allen

  21. Jon Brooks Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 4:38 pm

    If my last name were Melon..I wouldnt name my son Walter

    If my last name were Case..I wouldnt name my children Brief or Basket or Justin

    If my last name were Condi (someone I once worked with) ..i would not name my children ..Cotton or Ghengis

    If my last name where Campbell..I would not name my kids Adolph Hitler

    Thats just me I guess. :)

  22. Deanna Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 5:07 pm

    That child should be able to file a lawsuit against his parents for cruel and unusual punishment.

  23. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 18th, 2008 at 10:50 pm

    Doghouse - Yeah, they’re a bunch of long-haired hippies. Heh.

    Moe - Eh . . . toss up.

    Jon - My uncle’s last name is Clausz. They never considered naming their daughter “Sandy.” For good reason!

    Deanna - Give him some time.

  24. Jason Says:
    December 19th, 2008 at 1:02 pm

    I thought skinheads weren’t allowed to have hair? Maybe this guy is a covert skinhead, but now this whole flap has blown his cover? You can argue that he wears long shirts to cover the love tats.

    At some point the laughter subsides and the weeping begins when the thought surfaces that people like this are capable of breeding.

    They are free to name their children whatever they like. They are also free to jump from a bridge and allow the children to be renamed and raised by sane people.

    I’ll take “reasons to off yourself” for six hundred Alex.