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Nation’s First Face Transplant Performed

By Wyatt Earp | December 16, 2008

<i>Genius surgeon Dr. Maria Siemionow.</i>

Genius surgeon Dr. Maria Siemionow.

An absolutely awesome display of surgery.

A woman so horribly disfigured she was willing to risk her life to do something about it has undergone the nation’s first near-total face transplant, the Cleveland Clinic announced Tuesday.

Reconstructive surgeon Dr. Maria Siemionow and a team of other specialists replaced 80 percent of the woman’s face with that of a female cadaver a couple of weeks ago in a bold and controversial operation certain to stoke the debate over the ethics of such surgery.

Surgeons not connected to the Cleveland case reacted cautiously since little is known about the circumstances, but generally praised the operation.

“There are patients who can benefit tremendously from this. It’s great that it happened,” said Dr. Bohdan Pomahac, a surgeon at Harvard-affiliated Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston who plans to offer face transplants, too. ()

I know of at least two people who could benefit from face transplant surgery. There’s Mary Moo Cow . . .


And Trigger . . .


What??? I’m just sayin’.

Topics: Snarkasm |

13 Responses to “Nation’s First Face Transplant Performed”

  1. RFTR Says:
    December 16th, 2008 at 8:12 pm

    God please don’t let them switch faces.

    Can you imagine SJP’s face on Rosie’s body? Dear GOD that would be an ugly woman.

  2. Easily Lost Says:
    December 16th, 2008 at 9:10 pm

    So much for facial recognition software.
    The plus side, if everything takes , is so many burn victims will have a second lease on life, without having to live with catastrophic disfigurements.

  3. Randal Graves Says:
    December 16th, 2008 at 10:12 pm

    A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says “Why the long face?”


  4. The British Bird Says:
    December 16th, 2008 at 10:14 pm

    I heard about this on the radio this morning. My first reaction was “eww!” I was creeped out at the thought of having a dead persons face, then I realized I was thinking about it, my way and not the way of say a burn victim as Easily Lost said.

    I do wonder though what the dead womans family feel about having the image of their loved one implanted on another woman.. is it just like having a heart or kidney donated? Just a thought…

  5. JumpOut Says:
    December 16th, 2008 at 10:29 pm

    My wife, a huge Sex in the City fan, always gets pissed at me when I say SJP’s face looks like a foot.

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 16th, 2008 at 10:49 pm

    RFTR - Oh, we’d have to abort her immediately. No question about it.

    E.L. - And when I think of catastrophic disfigurements, I think of Rosie and SJP.

    Randal - Well crafted.

    TBB - All over the world, guys would never have to worry if that special someone is a “butterface.” It’s ingenious!

    JumpOut - And an unattractive foot at that.

  7. CaptainAmerica Says:
    December 16th, 2008 at 11:50 pm

    I’m going to wait until the price drops before I get mine…
    Probably go with the Brad Pitt special.

  8. RT Says:
    December 17th, 2008 at 2:04 am

    Creepy and neat at the same time. This would be a wonderful thing for people who have been disfigured in some way.

  9. Ky Person Says:
    December 17th, 2008 at 5:44 am

    I hope this is successful, and prayers for the brave lady who was willing to risk it.

  10. Kitty Says:
    December 17th, 2008 at 7:35 am

    I’m going to step out on a limb here — chainsaw poised and rev’d — and admit that I think SJP is attractive. At least she makes the most of what she’s got.

  11. Doghouse Says:
    December 17th, 2008 at 10:07 am

    So, this is the new Witness Protection program? “Nope, you stay here, but you get a new face.”

  12. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 17th, 2008 at 4:32 pm

    Captain - Won’t affect your personality, though. HA!

    RT - Like after being involved in a bad waffle iron attack.

    KY person - Amen to that.

    Kitty - I’d have the agree. And she doesn’t have much to work with. :)

    Doghouse - It’s win-win!

  13. BadIdeaGuy Says:
    December 17th, 2008 at 9:00 pm

    Wyatt, I gotta tell you that White House reporter Helen Thomas is probably the best known candidate for the face transplant.