A Few Thoughts About The Eagles
By Wyatt Earp | December 29, 2008
Regular readers of SYLG know that I despise the Philadelphia Eagles with the white-hot intensity of a thousand suns. So, it makes sense that yesterday’s drubbing of the Dallas Cowboys - who I also can’t stand - made me even more surly than usual.
But it’s not for the reasons you would expect.
As an uninterested party, I can say this with surety: Yesterday’s victory was the absolute worst thing that could happen to the Philadelphia Eagles. Here’s how I got there:
1. Head coach Andy Reid is one of the worst coaches in the league, but no one will admit it because his stats are pretty decent. A coach’s decisions are supposed to help the team win games. Reid’s decisions usually cost the Eagles victories. I have never seen a coach live so long off the spoils of a Super Bowl loss.
After such a miserable season - and an inexplicable tie - Fat Andy was almost certainly getting the axe. However, yesterday’s victory virtually guaranteed Reid five more years at the helm of this team, which means five more years of mediocrity. And that’s not good for anyone.
2. Rush Limbaugh was right: Donovan McNabb is overrated! How many times can a quarterback throw the ball at a receiver’s feet and get away with it? And the worst part is that this mental defective smiles when he does it. He always smiles, as if he is the QB of the Philadelphia ShortBussers. Stop smiling, you idiot: You’re losing the game!
Yesterday, during his patented once-a-year decent game, he was seen on the sidelines taunting the Cowboys and “flexing” his muscles for the cameras. Hey jackass, you slipped into the playoffs because the three other teams ahead of you shite the bed!
Again, like Reid, Donovan McNabb did just enough to stay in Philly for the next few years. Eagles fans should not be rejoicing in this.
3. Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie is completely clueless about the game of football. In fairness, he is at least honest about that fact. Unfortunately, he also believes that Andy Reid is a genius and should be given complete control of all football/personnel decisions.
How’s that working out for ya, Jeff?
The issue with Lurie is that while most owners would have fired Andy Reid and shipped McNabb off to Detroit years ago, Lurie smiles politely and beams about his team that just “made the playoffs.” Is that what it’s all about for him, just making the postseason?
For Philadelphia sports fans, that is exactly what it’s about. And as long as their team can get to the playoffs, they’re fat and happy. Even if they get blown out in the first round, they cheer and applaud like Pavlovian dogs, never asking for anything more. It’s sad, really.
And after yesterday’s backslide into the postseason, Eagles fans should prepare themselves for five more years of the same. Good luck with that . . .
In other football news, my Uncle Ray kicked the living crap out of me in our Yahoo! Fantasy Football championship yesterday. The fact that Justin Gage and Randy Moss combined for ZERO points for me is almost as infuriating as the fact that I benched the Eagles defense.
Ray’s team (The Stooges) spanked me by a score of 84-59, and if I didn’t mention it, he would give me Hell. So, congratulations you rotten rat fink!
Topics: Wyatt's Wisdom Nuggets |