By Wyatt Earp | October 3, 2008
Tonight is Draft Night for the FHL – our fantasy hockey league. The league is comprised of my idiot friends, and the group of us have been doing fantasy hockey for about fifteen years. (Being a terrible GM, I have won the championship only once.) Draft Night is the best night of the year, because one of more of the following will happen:
1. Vinnie Antonelli and The Badger will get drunk before the third round, and start drafting players who retired twenty years ago. “Um, is Gretzky available?”
2. Rob (aka Bundy) will do his damnedest to draft a player who was once a member of the Hartford Whalers organ-i-zation. That becomes more difficult every year.
3. I will have the prefect draft strategy set up, which will turn to crap the second Gimp makes one of his trademark idiot moves. No one picks a goaltender fourth overall, you moron!
4. Deathlok will exert his Commissioner gravitas by banning GMs from the tray of nachos, or commanding that they drink domestic beer on a whim.
5. Fish will wear his Ilkka Sinisalo jersey for the fifteenth straight year. No one will have the heart to tell him that he was a terrible skater who couldn’t pass. Heh.
6. OtherKev will be on conference call from Tucson, AZ, and draft over the phone to me for four hours. Twenty years from now, he will deny that he was responsible for my brain tumor.
All in all it will be an entertaining night, and each year it gets bigger and better. We keep considering bringing strippers to the festivities, but we can’t find any that will agree to wear hockey jerseys, high heels . . . and nothing else.