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Everything From Soup To “Nuts”

By Wyatt Earp | October 3, 2008

“Yeah, I’ll start with a Caesar salad, some garlic bread sticks, and waiter, what kind of wine would you suggest for battered testicles?”

Yeah, you read correctly: some knucklehead is serving testes and calling it fine cuisine. Gentlemen, cross your legs . . .

LONDON – Squeamish men look away now: a Serbian chef is bringing out Thursday a no-holds-barred guide to cuisine with a twist: “The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls.”

Hailed as the world’s first testicle recipe collection by e-book publishers YUDU, the cookbook includes author Ljubomir Erovic’s favourite dishes, like testicle pizza, battered testicles and and barbecued testicles and giblets.

The e-book, available for download from the Internet, comes with handy video guides showing the Serb peeling the skin off testicles and slicing them up into bite-size chunks.

Dude! What the Hell is wrong with you?!!!

“Wash testicles thoroughly for 30-45 minutes,” begins the recipe for testicles pie.

Well, that’s good advice for anyone, I think. I don’t seem to remember Aunt Bea leaving a steaming hot testicle pie on the windowsill, though.

A “very sharp knife” is needed for traditional style testicles, which get boiled, cut up and deep fried in hot oil.

Okay, now you’re losing me . . .

Erovic, 45, may be self-taught in the art of testicle cuisine but his 20 years of “cooking with balls” make him a world authority in the field.

“The tastiest testicles in my opinion probably come from bulls, stallions or ostriches, although other people have their own favourites,” he said.

“All testicles can be eaten — except human, of course.” (H/T – )

But, of course. If I may make a suggestion, I think that Erovic immediately be placed on the U.S. No-Fly List. The last thing America needs is some testicle butcher invading its fine restaurants.

Topics: WTF? | 8 Comments »

8 Responses to “Everything From Soup To “Nuts””

  1. RT Says:
    October 3rd, 2008 at 12:07 am

    Well, geez. If I had known you could them up into bite size pieces….

    Oh, animal balls. Okay.

  2. Snigs Says:
    October 3rd, 2008 at 8:29 am

    Come on Wyatt- you don’t think this is a new thing do you? Rocky Mountain Oysters/Cowboy Caviar have been served up for many, many years. The husband swears he can remember “hog balls” being advertised on the radio every Saturday morning when the market report was given.

    Pardon the pun (or not) but I think you’d have to be nuts to eat them, but it’s not a new concept for sure.

  3. -->Doghouse --> Says:
    October 3rd, 2008 at 10:21 am

    Heck, there’s a testicle festival (say that fast) each year somewhere up north – I think Wisconsin.

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    October 3rd, 2008 at 10:39 am

    RT – Oh, that’s just lovely!

    Snigs – I know it’s not new, but I never thought there was a cookbook involved. I mean, what the Hell?

    Doghouse – Wisconsin. That figures.

  5. Kim Says:
    October 3rd, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    Now I know what to do with the goat testicles when they shrivel up and fall off.

  6. kaveman Says:
    October 3rd, 2008 at 5:28 pm

    If this dude has any brains, he’d save the skins and sell ‘em to homosexuals as chewing gum.

  7. Wyatt Earp Says:
    October 5th, 2008 at 3:54 pm

    Kim – Again with the goat testicles?

    Kaveman – Bwahahahahahahaha!

  8. Kim Says:
    October 5th, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    At least I didn’t mention band castrator. :p